


A mask of normalcy

by Jinchouhime



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-22 21:34:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 44,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23000749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jinchouhime/pseuds/Jinchouhime
Summary: Sakura goes on a B-rank before Naruto and Sasuke and all she wants to do is pretend she's still a normal kid.
Comments: 123
Kudos: 380
Collections: A Collection of Beloved Inserts





	1. Lavender

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Even lambs have teeth](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14075118) by [Dovey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dovey/pseuds/Dovey). 



Sakura pauses at the crossroads. She could turn back. Go home. Stay in her bed. She was given leave of absence. 

“Rest for 2 days.” Hokage-sama had said.

But then that would invite questions. Where was she? Why didn't she show up at training? So she turned right, kept walking. One foot after another, one step at a time. She could do this. As usual, she heard him before she saw him. Any other day she would be annoyed at his insults towards Sasuke, but today it was a reminder of what normal was. She raised her head, she had to smile, greet Sasuke cheerfully if only to rub it in Ino’s face that she was the one on his team; nevermind the fact that Ino had been slated to join the Ino-Shika-Cho from birth, never had a choice.

She took a step forward. Or tried to. But she couldn't, damn the questions they might ask later, she couldn’t. She put her foot back down, a few steps back. And a few more. Then a few more. And then suddenly, she was back at the crossroads. She took a left. 

It’s a winding maze to get there but she remembers the path well. Knew she’d likely need it. Was just there yesterday. Once, she had asked why. Why the maze? She’d been denied an answer, been given a simple,  _ you’ll know _ . Now she understands. So she doesn’t hesitate to open the door even though she’s unaccompanied. Doesn’t find the smell of lavender cloying. She welcomes it all. 

Taichi is sitting on the couch when she steps inside. He’s pretty, prettier than her neighbour’s daughter who’d been wooed by so many men, the gifts she received for valentines day were piled high outside her door. He only looks at her and pats the seat beside him. Taichi also doesn't ask questions. Doesn’t ask her if she’s okay even though he knows. And if Taichi was not going to ask anything, was not going to say anything, then neither was she. They sit in silence for a while before Taichi gives her a book. 

_ On food and cooking: Fire Country.  _

She flips open the book, the pages are tabbed and the edges aren't perfectly crisp anymore. She’s halfway into a chapter on the different techniques of using clay pots in cooking when Taichi taps her shoulder. 

“It’s late. I’ll walk you home.” 

She glances down at the book in her hands. “Can I-”

“I’ll lend it to you,” He cuts her off. “for as long as you like.” And then slowly, so she can still see where his hands are, he pats her head.

Sakura leans into the touch. “Okay.” And because her Mother taught her manners. “Thank you, Taichi-san.”

Taichi doesn’t walk her to her doorstep. That would be too obvious. He drops her off at the crossroads with a small “See you tomorrow.” As if he already knew she wouldn’t be able to make herself turn right when she inevitably stops here tomorrow. And he’s right. Because she would delay the questions for as long as she could. 

She goes to bed early that night. But when the lights go out and she has her blanket draped around her, she finds that sleep does not come. Her clock reads three a.m. when she gives up on the pretense of sleep. Instead, she opens the book Taichi lent her and continues to read. When the sun starts to creep through her window curtains, she gets up. Pretends that she’s off for another day of training. 

Taichi is waiting for her when she turns left at the crossroads. He pats her head by way of greeting when she says a cheerful good morning. And when they take a seat on the couch and she feels her eyes shutting against her will, he gently takes the book from her and let’s her use him as a lap pillow. She should feel awkward, embarrassed really, and she wants to rush and defend herself but before she can do any of that, he pats her head and shushes her. 

She’s awoken by the smell of food. There’s takeout on the table and more people have entered the room since she fell asleep. She feels a line of drool down her cheek and jolts up, horrified that she’s been drooling on Taichi. When she stammers out her apologies, blushing like crazy, he merely chuckles and pats her head. Then she’s swept away by Michiru telling her to eat while wiping away the drool on her cheek. It’s sesame oil chicken with rice from the Akimichi restaurant a few streets down. They play hanafuda after and when it’s time to go home. Taichi walks her to the crossroads again, pats her head before passing her a smaller book on  _ The intricacies of cooking with a clay pot.  _ This one is brand new, still in it’s plastic cover. 

“Thank you, Taichi-san.” Sakura says.

“Anytime.” Taichi holds her gaze.

She manages to sleep that night. Not for long but sleep comes eventually. So she thinks that it is a good sign. Kakashi is waiting for her at the crossroads. 

“G-good morning Kakashi-sensei!”

“Good morning Sakura-chan.” He snaps his book shut, tucking it into his vest pocket. “Naruto and Sasuke think you were sick with a fever. Good job on your first B-rank.” He pitches his voice lower at the last sentence. 

Sakura stops walking.

_ Good job on your first B-rank. _

She wants to cry. “For Konoha.” she says instead. 

“I’ll see you at training” Kakashi says as he pats her head before he shunshins away. 

She drags in a breath. Then another. And another until she finally feels like she isn’t suffocating.  _ His pats feel wrong. _ She wishes Taichi was here to lead her to the left again. But Taichi can’t be here, because she will continue to run away if he is here. She wishes Taichi was the one to pat her. She wants to play hanafuda with Taichi and Michiru again. But she can’t. So she continues down the path to training ground three. 

“Sakura-chan! We heard you were sick! Are you alright now?” Naruto is too loud, too bright. She knows what she would usually do is push him away and greet Sasuke first. But today, this is exactly what she needs. 

“Yup! Good morning Naruto, Sasuke-kun!” 

“Sakura.” Sasuke nods. 

She’s saved from having to continue talking when Kakashi appears. Hearing Naruto scream about his lateness is almost enough for her to believe that everything will be normal. It’s a few hours of training - running and going through katas before they head to the hokage office. And although she disapproves of Naruto’s blatant disrespect to the Hokage, she holds her tongue because they’re in front of the Hokage. She doesn’t react when Naruto complains about the D-ranks. They  _ are  _ boring and she’d rather spend her time doing something other than catching that damn cat again. So she pays attention when the Hokage says he’ll give them a C-rank. 

C, not B. Breathe she tells herself. There is nothing to be afraid of. They cannot give her such missions here. But when Tazuna steps through the door smelling like cheap alcohol, she freezes up. She wants to run, go back to the room where she knows Taichi will be. Maybe Michiru will have food again. Breathe. In and out. She simply nods when Kakashi says they’ll set out tomorrow morning and gives them a checklist to bring. Naruto invites them for ramen as usual and as much as she would like to join them to feel normal again; she wants out. So when she finally makes it to the entrance of the building, she runs down the winding path to the room.

Taichi is shocked awake when she slams the door open a tad too hard but she’s breathing so hard she doesn’t care. It’s when Michiru cleans the snot from her nose and she can smell the lavender in the room that she starts to calm down. And it’s when she finally feels Taichi’s pats on her head that her sobs slow down until they eventually stop. She’s reluctant to say anything when Michiru asks why though. Because it’s illogical, she knows. The smell of cheap alcohol made me panic sounds stupid even to her. It’s when Taichi asks that she explains; because Taichi is the one who was there, who carried her back to Konoha after her legs felt like jelly, who stayed beside her and didn’t ask her questions. It’s Taichi who volunteered to take her missions when she just entered until he couldn’t. So although she feels stupid when she says “The client smelled like cheap alcohol and I panicked.” she still says it. 

Taichi justs pats her head and picks her up, signing to Michiru behind her. They play a game of hanafuda over dinner. Taichi and Michiru had asked if she needed to go home for dinner but her parents were on a mission outside the village that would last a few days and had left this morning before she had even woken up. Then she spent the night in one of the bunk beds in the adjourning rooms. In the morning, she’s woken up and sent away with a backpack and a lavender scented necklace. It’s a tiny, delicate thing and she’s grateful for it. 

So she doesn’t freeze up at the smell of Tazuna. She tries her best to defend him when the two Kiri-nin appear. She doesn’t try to move away from Tazuna even though he’s standing right behind her and she can even smell the grime under all that alcohol from him. And she almost feels proud when Kakashi praises her. When she masters tree walking first, she feels like she could even be a normal ninja. Maybe if she shows how good she is, she could get out. But it all turns to shit at the bridge.

It goes like this. Zabuza appears behind Tazuna and before she can even reach out to pull him away, Kakashi is in front of them, taking the slash meant for Tazuna. And he’s bleeding, his blood is dripping on the floor and he needs medical attention. But then Zabuza says Kakashi was only slow to react because of them, that Naruto and Sasuke were going to die. And all that comes out of her is a weak “No… there’s no way they would lose…” Because while her talents did not lie in fighting, everyone had said Sasuke was a genius and although Naruto was failing in most of his classes, he was still able to outrun all the teachers in school. 

Kakashi is the one who says that it’s not true, who believes in them. But Kakashi is bleeding, his vest is turning red and even if Naruto and Sasuke can defeat Haku, who’s going to defeat Zabuza? So when Kakashi and Zabuza disappear into the mist, she grabs Tazuna and tells him to run. She has to put distance between Tazuna and Zabuza if she wants to increase the chances of Kakashi defeating Zabuza. It’s a meaningless action in the end because Kakashi takes care of everything. She’s too far away to see clearly even though the fog has cleared up a bit but she can see Naruto’s bright orange tracksuit and if he’s safe then Sasuke is definitely safe. But she’s not so far away that she cannot see the large group of men who’ve arrived and when Zabuza turns on them, she’s even more confused. Are they an enemy or an ally? It doesn’t matter because Inari arrives with the villagers and chases the thugs away. 

She doesn’t question why Naruto wants to bury them, she simply grabs a shovel and helps to dig because Naruto is quiet for once. And as they dig their graves, Naruto recounts what happened in detail, slowly and quietly and sometimes he stops entirely, too caught up in his emotions. But everyone is silent and patiently waits for him to continue. At the end of his story though, she has to ask. 

“Kakashi-sensei?”

“Hmm?”

“Do ninja have to be like that?”  _ Are we all really just tools? _ goes unsaid. 

“Shinobi do not need to seek a reason to exist. It’s important that they exist as a tool. That’s an idea that exists in Konoha too.”

“Does becoming a real ninja mean we have to be like that? That’s...that’s just...I really don’t like that!” Naruto says.

“Do you think so too?” Sasuke asks.

“Mmm, No. But many shinobi suffer from that idea. Like Zabuza and that boy.” 

And when Naruto declares he will follow his own path. She feels that maybe, she could too. But of course, nothing is so simple. When she returns to the village, she’s slated for another mission. For now, she is just a tool to be used for the village.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this before I lose my nerve...  
> I'd greatly appreciate any feedback especially regarding sensitive topics as I want to give them the due care and attention they deserve.  
> I also have no idea how explicit I intend to make this in the future so fair warning...  
> Thank you for giving this a read :D


	2. Poison

Hyuuga Tokuma, Sakura thinks, is pretty like all the Hyuga are. Okay, so maybe she’s only seen one Hyuga up close before this but still. He would have probably been scouted if he wasn’t a clan kid. He also has really nice hair and she wants to ask what shampoo he uses. But this isn’t the time for that. She and Taichi are getting ready to be “sold” to the target. So they wipe off the sweat and grime from the travel and spray perfume on themselves. The teahouse’s servants were dressing Sakura in a hikizuri while dressing Taichi in a multi-layered kimono with his obi tied to the front in the style of the oirans. 

Sakura left first, the target was already in the room. Katsuragi Takeshi, son of Katsuragi Hagerou, one of the daimyo’s retainers. Sakura takes a deep breath before sliding open the door. 

“It is a pleasure to meet you Katsuragi-sama. I am called Fukiha.” She says, bowing low. 

“Fukiha-chan! Come here! Come and drink with me!”

Trying to be as graceful as possible, she walks to Takeshi, careful not to step on the edges of the tatami. She’s halfway through pouring him his fourth cup of sake when he leans over.

“Fukiha, what do you think about me becoming your patron?” Sakura freezes, this was not the plan. She was a maiko for a reason. She wasn’t expected to speak, her elaborate hikizuri with it’s golden leaves against a soft pink background was supposed to do the speaking. 

“I’m afraid I am not worthy of such attention Katsuragi-sama.” She finishes pouring his cup.

“See that’s what I like about you,” His hand goes to carass hers. “You’re like a little cat. How long have you been a maiko? I’ll sponsor your mizuage.” 

_ A shinobi must always put the mission first. _

_ For Konoha. _ She had said. His hand reaches out to touch her hair, gently lingering on one of the many pins. 

“Katsuragi-sama, Harusuke will be here soon. May I offer you a song before he arrives?”

Takeshi laughs and thankfully drops the matter, letting her reach for her shamisen. Taichi arrives before she’s even done with the first half of the song. 

“I offer my greetings Katsuragi-sama, my name is Harusuke.” And just like that, Takeshi has completely forgotten about her. His ears have turned red and he stands up to usher “Harusuke” into the room. Sakura moves away from the table and takes her place to the side.

“Fukiha, keep playing.” Takeshi orders before leaning into Taichi. Taichi plays the role of an oiran well, skillfully deflecting his advances like a real oiran would. But unlike a real oiran, he cannot reject Takeshi for the night and when he senses Takeshi getting impatient, he makes a show of accepting it. They’re on the ground, a mess of flesh and cloth as Sakura’s shamisen sings in the background. 

“My lord,” Taichi tries. “We have an audience.”

“Let her watch. I’ve decided to sponsor her anyway, she should watch and learn for when her mizuage comes.” He ends off with a grunt. 

It takes all of Sakura’s self control to not stop playing, to keep her breathing even. She wasn’t a real maiko, he wouldn’t even be able to find out which okiya she came from after this anyway. But if they don’t manage to get the information… 

Taichi is hugging Takeshi now, pulling him down and whispering into Takeshi’s ear. “Am I as good as the oirans you saw at court? Ah! Ka-katsuragi-sama, am I? Who are you imagining me as now?”

When dawn finally breaks, the stench of sex has filled the room. Taichi is still whispering sweet nothings to Takeshi while Sakura patiently sits across them. Takeshi had her stop playing a while ago and made her focus on watching instead. Watch as he exposed more of Taichi’s skin hidden under all the layers of his kimono. He’s having one last go at Taichi, telling him how he’s the best kagema he’s ever had before he finally leaves. 

“Thank you for today, Katsuragi-sama.” Sakura. 

“I hope to receive your patronage again, Katsuragi-sama.” Taichi adds. 

Not a minute after the door slides shut, Tokuma arrives. Sakura moves to Taichi’s side, helping him to fully remove all the layers of his kimono and using the washcloth Tokuma has brought to clean him. 

“An oiran by the name of Fujie has been seen wandering around court. She comes and goes though his father’s quarters as she pleases. He doesn’t know which okiya she comes from. Says he can’t remember seeing a crest on her clothes.” Taichi pauses. “Agent Haruno is compromised.”

When Tokuma doesn’t immediately respond, Taichi tries again. “She’s compromised. He wants to be her patron, sponsor her mizuage!”

“Agent Haruno will continue in her role as Fukiha.”

Sakura holds Taichi’s hand and shakes her head.  _ A shinobi must always follow their commander’s instructions.  _

“We move out in an hour. Get cleaned up.” Tokuma dismisses them before he shunshins away.

She doesn’t say anything as she helps Taichi up. Taichi doesn’t either. There’s nothing to be said, he’d tried and failed to get her out of the mission. She just wants to get out of the hikizuri, it had lost its purpose the moment Takeshi had noticed her instead of it. She finally feels a little better when she’s in her Konoha greens, necklace around her neck. They leave the kimonos behind. The teahouse will take care of them. 

Tokuma only pauses long enough to give them a once over before they take off towards Konoha. They reach the gates in half a day and Sakura tries not to fidget as they check their IDs at one of the smaller entrances. From there, Tokuma heads to the analysis team to hand in their report while Sakura and Taichi go to the hospital. They take a different path through the winding maze, one that leads to a part of the hospital only accessible through the staff’s quarters. The attending nurse decides to give Sakura a check up as well then sends Taichi away with some anesthetic cream.

Taichi is sitting in a tub filled with more bubbles than necessary, soaking his sore behind when Michiru finds them. 

“Why are you playing hanafuda in the toilet?”

“I’m not moving till my butt stops hurting.” Taichi deadpans.

“Hello.” 

“Get out. I bought food.”

Sakura shoves all the cards into a stack, ignoring Taichi’s protests. She was losing anyway. She exits the bathroom after hugging Michiru.

“Man, they start young nowadays. What did you do kid? Score too high in flower arrangement class?” Genma pushes a bowl of rice to her.

“And music and etiquette too. I’m Sakura, thank you.” 

“Genma. When did you graduate kid?” 

“January. I’ve been a genin for 4 months.” She says around a mouthful of veggies.

“Michiru! What the fuck is a fresh out of the academy genin doing here?”

“Fuck off Genma, I told you we had a fresh recruit and you know why.” Michiru drags a now clothed Taichi behind her, pushing him into a chair and telling him to eat.

“We came back from her second B-rank.” Taichi adds unhelpfully.

“Shit, I thought we were done with child recruits.” 

“Sorry.” Sakura fidgets in her seat.

“Oh no, don’t be. It’s not your fault. It’s the sick fuckers out there. Who’s on your team, kid?”

“Hatake Kakashi, Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto.”

_ The last Hatake, Uchiha and Uzumaki. What the fuck? _ Genma thinks. Then, as he stares at the pile of cooking books, clearly a new addition to the room. _I'm going to regret this._

“You like cooking?” She nods. “What about poisons?” Sakura stares at him. “I’m saying I can teach you. You in or not?”

“Please! Genma-sensei!” This was it, her chance to do something other than seduction.

“Please, just call me Genma, 'sensei' makes me feel old.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kagema - Young male prostitute  
> Hikizuri - Kimono worn by maiko, more elaborate than a geisha's kimono  
> Mizuage - Ceremony for maiko to become geisha, traditionally connected with the loss of virginity. The maiko’s patron has the right to her virginity.   
> Okiya - Where the geisha and maiko live
> 
> Historically, in east asia, homosexuality isn’t really seen as a big deal. And some reading into this time period shows that there were teahouses which also served as basically a whorehouse (I’m glossing over a lot of things here partially because I don't wish to write a wall of text and I’m sure whatever I’ve read barely scratches the surface of this). I’ve taken liberties with regards to how the place operates, etc.  
> There’s also 2 types of teahouse or this could be a double meaning/lost in translation thing where you have one meaning the structure where tea ceremonies are carried out versus a private space for couples or entertainment from geishas(Ochaya). I’m using the latter for the purposes of this story.   
> Oiran vs Geisha. Both are entertainers but oirans offer sex sometimes and are considered higher class. Here, Taichi is a kagema who’s pretending to be an oiran due to the client’s preference. Sakura is acting as a maiko for 2 reasons; firstly, to give her leeway in terms of lack of skill/repertoire and secondly, maiko are cheaper to hire than geisha. Basically, Takeshi is a kid whose dad didn’t give him nearly as much spending money as he’d like.


	3. Uchiha Sasuke

Sakura is acting weird.

_ Thwack. _

Sasuke knows he isn’t the best at socialising. His mother had frequently told him it was okay to bring friends over, hoping that her son was just too shy to introduce any of his friends to her. Really, he just barely had anyone he could call a friend. But Sasuke isn’t blind. 

_ Thwack. _

Sakura has not been joining team dinners which is nothing in itself. But she has been absent minded when she does join.

_ Thwack. _

He also has not seen that red ribbon on Sakura’s head since they left the academy. 

_ Thwack. _

Sakura also does not wear her forehead protector around her neck.

_ Thwack. _

Most of all, Sakura hasn’t said a word since greeting him while they wait for Naruto and Kakashi. And while he welcomes this change, it  _ is  _ weird.

_ Thwack. _

Sasuke gets up and starts to pull the kunai out of the target. Where the hell was Kakashi? He needed to get stronger. He’d thought that as the top student in the academy, he was making good progress in getting stronger. But when it came to it, all he managed to do was get knocked out and fall unconscious during battle. Naruto, dead last of all people, had to protect him. What a joke! He yanks out the last kunai a bit too hard and cuts his finger. 

“Shit.” 

Sakura looks up.

“Huh? Oh no, here, I have some bandages, Sasuke-kun.” She hurries over, handing him the bandages, not trying to bandage his finger like she usually tries to.

Definitely weird. Sasuke thinks as he takes the bandages and gives his thanks. His teammate has turned from overly cheerful and shy to straight up weird. As if Naruto wasn’t bad enough, trying to pick a fight with him at every turn and then causing trouble ever since they came back from Wave. He’s ready to tell her to get her act together because being this absent minded is going to get her killed out there when Kakashi appears.

“Well, sorry I’m late, I got lost on the road of life! Huh? Where’s Naruto?”

Sakura doesn’t respond so he guesses it falls to him to respond. “No idea.”

“Hmm, okay! Sakura! Sasuke! Your first mission of today is to- oh there he is. Naruto! Why are you late?”

“Idrankexpiredmilk.” Naruto mumbles, then. “Good morning, Sakura-chan! What mission are we doing today, Kakashi-sensei?”

“Well, today we have picking potatoes, clearing weeds and…”

\----

It’s late afternoon when they finish their missions, earlier than usual. Sasuke thinks Kakashi might use the extra time to train them but he shunshins away to deliver the mission report after dismissing them, leaving the three of them behind. Before Sasuke can even say bye and leave though, Sakura is already turning around to leave. 

“Hey, Sakura-chan! I know it’s still early but how about we have some ramen?” Naruto asks.

It’s like she didn’t even hear Naruto as she continues walking away. Sasuke ignores a sulking Naruto in favour of following her. Because her being this absent minded is going to get her killed one day and while he might find Sakura annoying in her pursuit of him, she is his teammate. 

He’s not sure what he expects to find when he decides to follow her instead of stopping her but her entering the Konoha Intelligence Division is not one of them. It gets weirder when he realises he needs a pass to enter the building and cannot follow her. Then, indignation. Sakura was doing missions outside of team 7. No wonder she seemed used to camping outside. Here he was thinking he was better than her when she already had more experience than him. 

Sasuke’s first thought is to find Kakashi and question in what way is he  _ less _ than Sakura. What makes her more qualified to take missions than him? But his teacher is as elusive as ever and he’s unable to find him. So he resolves to question him tomorrow. He  _ could _ , of course ask Sakura but that would mean admitting he followed her around which also means he has to find out how to catch Kakashi alone tomorrow when they meet. He loops back to the Intelligence Division building where he manages to catch Sakura leaving, saying goodbye to some shinobi with a book in her hands. He’s about to follow her to get a better look at the shinobi who’s accompanying her when-

“All right kid, you want to tell me why you’re spying on us?” 

Chills run down Sasuke’s spine. He didn’t even notice him. He sees a senbon pointed at his neck in his periphery. He breathes out slowly, well there goes making sure Sakura doesn’t find out he followed her.

“She’s on my team. She’s been acting weird so I followed her.” He says as calmly as possible. The senbon, if possible comes closer to him without actually piercing his skin.

“Name. Shinobi registration number. Team members.”

“Uchiha Sasuke. Shinobi number zero-one-two-six-zero-six. Team leader; Hatake Kakashi. Team members; Haruno Sakura, Uzumaki Naruto.” The senbon disappears.

“Look, it’s great that you’re concerned for your teammate and I would usually encourage you but in this case, don’t. You’re done here. Investigation over. Not a word about this to anyone, especially her.” 

“Yes.” Sasuke grits out. Because he sees that the man is wearing a flak jacket. He’s higher ranked than Sasuke which isn’t hard he supposes considering he’s only a genin. He can also take a senbon to his throat without him noticing. 

Sasuke only relaxes when he can’t sense anyone around him anymore which doesn’t mean much considering he couldn’t even sense his approach. He sulks home, angrier than ever because not only is Sakura doing better than him as a shinobi, he was only spared because her friend verified that he was her teammate. He doesn’t even know which shinobi that was. With Haku, he could at least see where he was even if his body didn’t quite react as quickly as he liked but he couldn't even follow this shinobi. He was too weak. He was not going to be able to kill  _ him _ at this rate. 

When morning comes, Sasuke has not slept. His terrible mood is so obvious that even Naruto picks up on it and asks Kakashi what’s wrong with him. And if even Naruto picked up on it then it means Kakashi has to ask Sasuke what’s wrong. Because despite his lazy demeanour, he has noticed their teamwork becoming more fragmented. Naruto has basically dumped a bag of fertiliser on the bud that is his growing rivalry with Sasuke, Sakura has grown even less confident of her abilities and Sasuke is getting impatient faster. But this is new, while he has not reached out to his teammates, he’s never completely ignored them before.

So when Sasuke opens his mouth and asks Kakashi for help. Kakashi is ecstatic because he has been wondering how to broach the topic with Sasuke again and Sasuke came to him which means he can ask questions and Sasuke has to answer because he wants his help. He might have also received a report that concerned a potential risk of exposing an agent’s identity. So, his response is simple.

“Why I thought you’d have never asked.”


	4. Ribbon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Panic attacks in this chapter.

Ino is more irritable than usual. She herself can tell that she’s snapped at Chouji more than usual for his overly kind nature. So she isn’t surprised when Shikamaru calls her out after training. She is surprised when he asks her if something happened to Sakura though. So she nags the annoying genius into helping her. Threatening to ruin his shogi sessions may have been on the table as well. 

“You only ever get so worked up when it comes to Sakura. As much as you like to claim you’re no longer friends with her, you have a soft spot for her. If it was just bullies, you’d have already dealt with them. You wouldn’t have taken it out on Chouji if you could do something about it.” 

“Tsk. Don’t get smart with me, Nara. She asked me for the ribbon back.” And Ino’s first response would have been anger because she had been angry when Sakura tried to return the gift before she realised it was Sakura’s way of saying that she wanted to become stronger by herself. So she _ had _ wanted to tease Sakura about Sasuke and ask her if she’d given up but Sakura, Sakura had looked so lost. She knows she should say what the ribbon meant but that was too private.

“I gave it back to her but she refused to tell me anything. I’ve dug around and found nothing. Shikamaru...she looked really lost and scared.” Ino finishes instead. It’s not a lot to go off on but Shikamaru was a genius.

“Argh…” He sighs. “If you can’t find anything then whatever that’s happened to her is higher up. And you’ve probably already asked your dad so he either doesn’t know or is lying. I saw her go to the intelligence building once. Figure out who she’s been hanging out with Ino. That's your specialty, not mine. Don’t ask your dad for help.”

So Ino doesn’t. Because if Shikamaru is telling her not to go to her dad for help then it means her dad can’t or won't help her. Instead she finds gossip about the intelligence division. But nothing turns up. Surprisingly, what does turn up is not from there but gossip about her crush.. 

_Uchiha Sasuke was seen at the intelligence division._ _Was lurking there for a while. Spotted twice._

And Ino doesn’t know what to do. Because he most likely knew something. But this was Sasuke and he would not entertain her questions. So she grabs Chouji, because Shikamaru would not chase down rumours with her but Chouji would and Shikamaru would follow because Chouji. They’re in front of Sasuke’s place when Chouji asks.

“Ino...Why do you know his address?”

She denies him a response and they decide to head to a cafe with a view to the entrance of his apartment when it’s clear he wouldn’t be showing up anytime soon. They have dinner and then dessert before Sasuke shows up. He’s beat up and dirty but it’s Sasuke so Ino still thinks he looks handsome. He looks mildly annoyed by their presence but accepts their offer for supper. His mild annoyance turns to anger when they mention Sakura and he clamps up. They are unable to get another word out of him and he moves to leave the shop. Ino is frustrated enough that she forgets that she’s speaking to Sasuke for a moment as she threatens him.

“Sasuke-kun, I like you a lot. But I will not hesitate to release your address and schedule. I’ll have girls following you everywhere and start a fan club making profits out of selling your pictures.” 

“You’re bluffing.”

“How do you think we found you?” Ino smirks.

Sasuke pauses, then. “Can’t say anything.” 

“Sasuke! This is serious. I will get all the girls in Konoha to-”

“I.  _ Can’t _ . Say. Anything.” Sasuke cuts her off, glaring now.

Shikamaru interjects before Ino can attract any more attention to them. “We’re done here. Let’s go, Ino, Chouji. Thanks, Uchiha.” 

It’s a silent walk back to their compounds. And as much as Ino wants to ask Shikamaru what he’s deduced, she keeps her mouth shut. The silence pays off because Shikamaru invites them in when they reach the Nara compound. 

“Sasuke was stopped by someone who’s at least jounin rank.” 

“And we can’t enter the building cause we need some stupid pass.” Ino continues.

“Really? The Akimichi go there every Saturday to deliver food.” 

“What the heck?” Shikamaru lies on the floor, defeated.

“Chouji! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I’ll get you those potato chips from Iron that you like!” Ino screams as she hugs Chouji.

\---

The Akamichi apron, Ino thinks, is possibly the ugliest thing she has ever worn.  _ Sakura owes me big time _ . 

“Ino-chan, here. You can bring this to your dad and his colleagues. He’ll be in the Analysis Room around this time. Ah, take your bento too, I’m sure he’ll be glad to see you.” Chouji’s mom says.

“Ah...Thank you!” Well there goes her time to search for Sakura. She glares at Shikamaru and Chouji.

“Ah...Troublesome...We’ll see you later, Ino!” Shikamaru sighs as he’s handed more bentos. Chouji had already moved on, used to the delivery work.

“Shikamaru. This goes to the basement. Just leave them with the guard.”

“Okay. See you later.” 

The basement apparently, was accompanied by a long flight of stairs with even more stairs past the guard. A guard who was very much  _ not _ there. Shikamaru pauses for a while. Now, he  _ could  _ technically leave the bentos there or wait for the guard to come back but Ino would kill him if she ever found out.  _ I knew this would turn out to be troublesome. _

Shikamaru skulks past the table, careful to stick to the shadows. The second flight of stairs is even longer than the first and by now, he’s really regretting his decision because it’s been long enough that his excuse of needing the guard to sign off on the bentos is growing rather weak. Then, the smell hits him. A mix of stale blood and lavender. He reaches the last step when the smells split. Lavender to the left and blood to the right. He takes a left but quickly realises he’s entered a maze when he loops back finds himself facing his own jutsu.  _ Shit. _

He’s about to call it quits because he can’t figure out the maze and get back before Chouji’s mom finds it weird when he hears footsteps. It’s also too late to hide because he’d stepped away from the shadows when he realised he was in a maze. At least, he’s probably safe because he’s a clan heir. Ino will be furious because he got caught but at least he actually did something other than have lunch with their dad. And then his train of thought ends because pink enters his eyes.

“H-huh? Shikamaru? Why are you here?” Sakura looks genuinely surprised to see him. 

“Why are  _ you _ here?” He counters instead. Because he can’t say that they’ve been trying to stalk her.

“Not a clan kid. But I guess since  _ you’re _ here then that explanation is moot. Was recruited in the academy. How did you get taken?” 

“Not telling. Sakura, what do you mean by  _ not a clan kid?” _ Shikamaru’s mind is racing. What was this place?  _ Thank god she’s not questioning him any further.  _ She frowns at him. 

“Wait, is this your first time here? You’re unaccompanied? Um, okay so uh, where do I start? Someone else usually does this.” She stares at her shoes. “Okay so uh, the kids who usually get recruited are non-clan shinobi. Since it’s your first time, we probably need to get you an appointment to get checked out and you’ll need a crash course in STDs. I have a book on that, I’ll show you later in the room. Um, Shikamaru?” Her cheeks are turning as pink as her hair but Shikamaru’s mind is roaring.  _ She has a book on that. _

“...Yeah?” He croaks out.

“I know it’s not, uh, socially acceptable to ask this but it’s important. Have you ever had uh sex?” Her voice squeaks at the end, and then even softer, she adds, “With either gender.”

And if Shikamaru's mind was roaring before, it was now eerily silent. Like a sheet of white noise had fallen. Because Sakura’s question was a confirmation to an unasked question. And every word she had spoken was trust she had freely given, that he was about to break in an absolutely horrible manner. 

“Shikamaru, are you okay?” She’d reached out when he didn’t- couldn’t respond.

“Sakura, I-” He gulps in air. Suddenly, her attire makes sense. 

_ She asked me for the ribbon back. _

Ino hadn’t said what the ribbon meant but he could guess. Sakura had grown from a shy child constantly following Ino around to being able to stand her ground against her bullies and Ino. Giving the ribbon back to Ino had been a sign of her resolve to stop relying on Ino. She’d taken it back in hope of some form of comfort. He needed to apologise. He’d barged in, even if it was to help Ino. It was not his place.  _ She didn’t even tell Ino. _

“I-I’m sorry. I-” He what? He feels like a fool. 

_ I guess being a ninja would be more interesting  _ he’d told Asuma. He wanted to have never opened his stupid mouth. 

“Shikamaru? Here, sit down. It’s okay. I’ll be here, you’re not alone.” Sakura sits beside him, holding his hand. “I shouldn’t have asked. It’s okay.”  _ She’s misunderstanding. She doesn’t know. Still thinks he’s-  _

He’s still struggling to breathe. Her hand is so small, he thinks.  _ She was recruited in the academy. _ It’s a sickening thought. He’s not sure how much time has passed before he calms down and by then, it’s as if his vocal chords had died. Sakura is patient. Doesn’t rush him, doesn’t ask any questions. He’s not sure what happens next but when Sakura tries to lead him down the corridor, he resists. He can’t bring himself to speak but he knows that intruding any further is  _ wrong _ . And again, Sakura doesn’t ask any questions, just leads him away. He’s not sure where she’s brought him, only vaguely aware of where he is. It’s when she places a bento in his hands that he snaps out of the noise. The Akimichi’s symbol feels like a weight around his neck

“Sakura.” She looks up from her bento.

“Yes?” He puts down the bento, he’d lost his appetite a while ago.

“I’m sorry-”

“Don’t be, Shikamaru. Happens to the best of us. It’ll get better.”  _ She thought he was sorry he had a panic attack. _

“No. Sakura, I need you to listen. I- I wasn’t supposed to be here.” He kneels, because he doesn’t know how else to show he’s serious and sincere about his apology. “I- I was just supposed to deliver the bentos. I shouldn’t have wandered past the guard. I’m so sorry Saku-Sakura!” He looked up at the sound of her dropping the bento.

“No! No. Stay, stay there. Don’t move.” Her voice is trembling and she’s shaking as she holds onto her forehead protector. 

“What can I do? Sakura, let me help you. Please!” 

“You’ve done enough.” A voice cuts in. Shikamaru looks up to see a beautiful face twisted in disgust. “Get out. Exit’s to your right.” He orders, and Shikamaru can’t obey fast enough. 

“T-Taichi!” He hears Sakura wail before he can get out of hearing distance. 

Her voice haunts his dreams for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I'm keeping them in character with all the digging I've done into what they were like while they were genin. I'd gladly answer any questions if you feel that anyone has been ooc or something was too vague!
> 
> I was going to name this chapter 'Yamanaka Ino' in keeping with the previous chapter's title but Shikamaru took over halfway and I didn't want to break up the chapter (half of it was written before I posted chapter 3).
> 
> We go back to Sakura next chapter and well, I think it's time for me to update the tags.


	5. Guilt

“T-Taichi!” Sakura was shivering as she turned her head to look at him. He doesn’t give the kid a second glance having already memorised his face and the giant Nara crest at the back of his jacket as he picks Sakura up.

_Clan kid._

“Shh, it’s okay Sakura. You have the necklace Michiru gave you right? You’ll be okay.” Sakura fumbles for a bit to get the necklace out from under her dress.

“I-I didn’t know! I thought he was one of us. I- _I’m sorry.”_ He’s struggling not to run now as he brings her through the maze to the room.

“Don’t be. He tricked you. Listen to me Sakura, you trust me right?”

She’s still struggling but she nods, her fingers still clamped around her forehead protector and necklace.

“I’ll take care of everything. Nothing will happen to you or any one of us.” He kicks open the door.

“B-but-”

“No buts, trust me.” He crouches down, imploring her to give him her trust as he holds her hands gently. 

“I do, I do trust you. But he’s the _heir_.” 

“Trust me, nothing will happen Sakura.”

Taichi isn’t sure how long passes before Sakura falls asleep but he places her in his room before leaving the building. 

There are few things in life Taichi holds special. Haruno Sakura is one of them. So even when Sakura tells him that the kid is an heir, he can’t find it in himself to care. He does however, stop to think about how to approach the situation when he realises the Nara head is the Jounin commander. Were it anyone else, he would have snuck in and threatened to rip their balls off. As it is, he stands outside the gates of the Nara compounds awaiting an invitation. 

Nara Shikaku is not amused. He can sense that someone is waiting to see him and he wants to ignore them. But when Yoshino glares at him, he knows it’s time to see who their mysterious visitor was. Again, he is not amused and he is extremely displeased to find a seduction agent at his doorstep. He doesn’t invite him in. If they wanted to be rude and appear at weird hours then they could speak with him outside.

“Greetings, Nara-sama.”

“Enough with the formalities. Why are you here, shinobi.”

“Very well then, I have a personal matter to settle with your son.” His face doesn’t reveal anything. Damn seduction agents. What the hell had Shikamaru done? Shikaku thinks. His son had been a mess when he finally returned home. He’d tried to hide it but he had seen how his breathing was slightly laboured and he’d gone straight to his room instead of lazing about in the clan grounds.

“And why, would you have anything to do with my son?”

“I believe it would be in your best interests to not know, Jounin commander.”

“If I refuse to let you see him?”

“You shall find out in paper then.”

“Ten minutes. Shikamaru!” Shikaku turns to find his son in the house. Taichi does not follow, he had not received an invitation after all. Did not expect to receive one. Shikamaru turns up, alone a minute later though Shikaku has placed himself just out of hearing distance but where Taichi can still see him.

“Who have you told?” Shikamaru jumps at Taichi’s voice. Taichi has a dangerous glint in his eyes even though his voice is low and measured. 

“No-No one! I wouldn't do that! I didn’t know-”

“Didn’t know? I don’t care if you knew or didn’t, if you would or wouldn’t, the fact remains is that you did do it. And you will keep silent about this or I will silence you myself, clan heir or not.” The words are a promise.

“Y-yes. Um, I-Is Sakura okay?”

Taichi wants to hit the kid. Even after all this, he thought he had the right to show concern over her wellbeing? What was so different about clan born that they so inherently believed they could butt in where they were clearly not welcome. So he wants to teach the boy a lesson but Sakura had said to come back and he’d promised that nothing would happen.

“You don’t have the right to ask that.” He finishes instead, settling for his meanest glare. Then he shunshins away, back to the room.

\---

When he returns, Aoi is in the room playing with Sakura. His roommate had been away on a long term infiltration mission. 

“Taichi! We’ve been waiting for you! Come here, have you eaten? We finished the bentos Michiru left us but I’m sure we can find something for you! Oh right, look what I found outside…” Aoi’s voice fills the whole room. Taichi had never been much of a talker and since Aoi could carry on a conversation by himself, that never changed.

“It’s good to have you back, Aoi.” He smiles. “Unfortunately for you, I have to bring Sakura home.” Sakura straightens up at the sound of her name. 

“Thank you, Taichi.” She says as he carries her. Sakura may be twelve and a genin but she always turns child-like in his presence. 

“See you later, Sakura-chan!”

“I’ll find you later, Aoi.” He exits the room and strolls through the streets to Sakura’s house. 

Genma falls into step shortly after. 

“I heard from Michiru.” He says by way of explanation. They walk in silence for a while. “Taichi, I looked into her files. Her chakra control is crazy good and she’s been noted to have a flair for genjutsu.” Taichi laughs.

“She’s going to end up an assassin.” Genma doesn’t respond because he knows the only reason he isn’t in one, even managed to enter the Hokage guard platoon is because Chouza pulled him out. And Sakura doesn’t have a Chouza. Doesn’t have a clan head backing her, she’s been pulled into the system like all the other non-clan shinobi before her with no way out. He knows they like to whisper stories of him, how he got out, how maybe, just maybe they could too. And he hates it because if it were true, Taichi wouldn’t still be in there. 

“Genma, wipe that stupid look off your face. We’re here.” Haruno Sakura lived in a normal apartment block with shinobi parents who started taking more missions once their daughter became a genin. Her parents weren’t even going to be home tonight but Taichi, the fool, always insisted on her going home. Taichi busies himself with putting together some sandwiches in the kitchen, clearly familiar with the house.

“I have a friend who specialises in genjutsu.”

“Yuuhi Kurenai. There’s only one genjutsu specialist in Konoha, only reason she isn’t in here. Get her to train Sakura. Better she knows than _that_ happening again.” _Even if she ends up in a wet works squad_ goes unsaid.

“You never did tell me what happened.” Taichi pauses and looks at the knife in his hands, wondering if he should throw it at the tokujo.

“She was compromised. Bastard wanted to sponsor her mizuage. Team leader said she should stay. Bastard raped her the next time we met.” He doesn’t add that he’d killed the bastard as she cried and forced herself not to fight back as a shinobi, that Sakura had repeated the shinobi rules like a mantra after, that their clan born team leader had reprimanded Taichi for interfering because _Agent Haruno had the situation under control_. 

Taichi pulls out some boxes from the cupboards above. He’d said enough. Genma doesn’t say anything because as horrible as it was, such things did happen from time to time. It was just a reality. 

“I’ll get Kurenai to train her.” He says instead.

Taichi nods as he puts the sandwiches into the fridge and leaves a note for Sakura. She has team training and missions tomorrow and would not be at the room. 

“Thank you, Genma.”

\---

Shikamaru stands frozen. He can’t quite bring himself to move away from the gates of the compound. 

_You’ve done enough._

_You don’t have the right to ask that._

The words are swirling in his mind. He’s vaguely aware that his father is standing not too far behind him, is waiting for him to explain why he was sought out by a very clearly angry shinobi. But he can’t bring himself to care at the moment. He wasn’t close with Sakura. She’d been “Ino’s friend” for as long as he could remember. And he _was_ vaguely aware of the darker parts of their work, he just didn’t think. Yes, he _didn’t think_. Again. 

“Shikamaru.”

He jumps. He’d forgotten his father was there. Shikaku’s posture was relaxed, eyes resting lazily on his son. But Shikamaru knew that despite how relaxed his father seemed, his mind was not. So he’s careful to keep his expression lax when he turns around to face his father.

“Yes?”

“Come on, let’s talk.” Shikaku says as he turns around and ambles back to the house. It takes Shikamaru a moment to move and catch up. He dares to chance a glance at his mother when they enter the house again, hoping she’d give him some inane chore to do, if only to get out of the impending conversation. As it is, his mother has completely avoided him in favour of doing the dishes.

“Sit down, Shikamaru.” Shikaku calls from the room over. He sits. But his father doesn’t say anything. And Shikamaru was willing to sit there and hope that his father would find everything too troublesome to deal with and just not ask any questions. Shikaku sighs.

“Shikamaru. Do you know who that was?”

“A shinobi.” Shikamaru says petulantly. If his father wasn’t going to just let this go, he would annoy him into letting it go. Shikaku knows what his son is trying to do and while he would usually indulge the boy, this time was different. What the hell did a seduction agent have to do with his son?

“Cut the games. You will tell me or I will go through a really tedious process to find out what is going on that will no doubt end badly for all parties involved.” Shikamaru shifts uncomfortably.

“I can’t tell you.”

“I’m the jounin commander. Unless you’re telling me you’re under the hokage’s orders, you _can_ tell me.”

“I don’t want to.” Shikaku stares at his son. As much as he’d tried to hide it, he could tell his son had been shaken by the shinobi earlier. So why wasn’t he asking him for help?

“At least. At least tell me you’re okay?” And now Shikamaru feels guilty, because he was acting childish when his father was just concerned for his well-being.

“I am,” He chokes out. Sakura isn't, goes unsaid. “I’m sorry dad.” 

“Don’t be, Shikamaru.”

\---

Shikamaru couldn’t sleep. He’d always felt that he was better prepared for shinobi life than the other kids. Because he’d breezed through the material covered in class. Because he’d seen what the life had done to his father, his clansmen. Because he wasn’t so naive to think he’d never have to kill. It was why he actually quite liked hanging out with Naruto. Like Chouji, he had an air of innocence about him, an unshakable faith with the added bonus of being a really good prankster. Things were always interesting with Naruto around.

Naruto, who was on Sakura’s team. He had no doubt Naruto would not figure out what was happening to Sakura. Because Naruto was extremely naive. And since Sasuke was definitely not going to do anything, Sakura was well and truly alone. And Ino was bound to ask him what was their next course of action. This whole thing was a mess. Did Sakura’s parents even know she was there? Did it even matter? Genin were allowed to make their own career decisions without consulting their parents. Very few things required parental consent once they graduated. 

“Shikamaru?”

“Mom?” Yoshino slides open his door and takes a seat beside his bed. 

“You didn’t want to tell your father so I thought I’d come see what’s wrong.” 

“Not my place to share.” He starts. “But I feel terrible. My fault.” He buries himself under his blanket. Yoshino is quiet, giving him time to sort through what he can say. It takes Shikamaru a while to find that his guilt aside, the thing that really bothered him was Sakura saying she wasn’t a clan kid. It takes him a while longer to find the words.

  
“My,” He pauses, what was Sakura? A friend? “Academy classmate. Sh- She’s in a bad situation and she says that it’s because she isn't a clan kid. What does that mean?”

Yoshino is glad that Shikamaru had angled himself so that he couldn’t immediately see her face because her expression had fallen and turned hard. She’d always known Shikamaru was smart, had not minded his lackluster results from the academy as long as he showed her that he actually knew what he was doing. But she had not wanted her son to get acquainted with this side of their world so soon. 

“A lot of things. Things have changed a lot since the war, since it’s the first time we’ve had so much peace. But before, wartime policy dictated that every household was to give their firstborn to the nation. Even civilians. It’s why you see so many non-clan shinobi today. You’ve been training to be a shinobi before you entered the academy, you have your clan’s secret techniques, access to the clan dojo after hours, the clan’s library, medicine. Non-clan shinobi don’t. They have whatever their jounin-sensei decides to impart and after that, it’s all up to them. And we’re protected by clan laws. I think that’s what you’re really asking, Shikamaru.”

Shikamaru blinks, hadn’t realised he’d clenched his fists so hard his knuckles were white. He gives himself a moment to breathe because this was ridiculous. It was like there was a sick joke. 

_The kids who usually get recruited are non-clan shinobi._

_I was recruited in the Academy._

Shikamaru was coming to realise that Sakura wasn’t the only one. There were probably more kids being recruited every year. He was also realising, as a child, there was very little he _could_ do.

_You’ve done enough._

The man, Taichi was right. They probably knew what they were doing. Been shoved into that life. 

_Wartime policy dictated that every household was to give their firstborn to the nation._

The last war was about 16 years ago. Taichi was likely not a shinobi by choice. 

_She asked me for the ribbon back._ Ino had said, a broken expression on her face.

And he couldn’t do anything. Because he was a kid. Because apparently, the only reason he was _actually_ better prepared than his classmates was because he had access to more resources than they did. And Sakura was nearly almost always at the top of the class despite that. And she was punished for it.

_I was recruited in the Academy._

Shikamaru buries himself under the blankets, hoping he can stop hearing Sakura’s voice.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School is starting + I got majorly distracted by another fic. Which I suppose is a good thing because this chapter ended up becoming like 3 times longer.  
> Featuring lots of guilt and I hope you feel as frustrated as I am because there's literally nothing a genin can do, even a super smart genin like Shikamaru. But there's a plan(sorta).  
> I need a smart person to tell me what a smart person would do in this situation.  
> Also praying Shikamaru isn't OOC.  
> Thanks for reading!


	6. Team 7

Sakura wakes up just before her alarm rings. She doesn’t want to leave her bed. But as the sunlight creeps through her curtains, she knows she has to move. She’s pleasantly surprised to see that Taichi had made her lunch. 

She only hesitates for a moment when she reaches the crossroads but she heads right. Taichi had dealt with Shikamaru last night. She could do this. She’d be damned if she let that affect her normal life. So when training ends and nothing happens, she can’t help but feel a little proud that she made it. She even goes for the team dinner. And it’s nice. Yes, Kakashi left them with the bill again. Yes, they didn’t manage to see his face and he somehow finished his ramen. But it was normal. If only it would’ve stayed that way.

“Sakura-chan? Are you okay?” And she really wishes Naruto didn’t ask that. Because she doesn’t want to lie to Naruto. She’d die before she’d admit it but he’d grown on her. Yes, he was annoying, she didn’t like him trying to date her and he was persistent but he was also bright. He was a reminder that she didn’t have to be a tool. 

She knows she has to respond quickly, the longer she takes, the more suspicious Naruto will be. But she needs a moment to steady herself, to make sure her voice doesn’t crack. She makes a show of straightening her clothes after hopping down from the chair.

“I’m fine. I’ll see you tomorrow, Naruto, Sasuke-kun!” She doesn’t turn to look at them as she says that, giving a small wave before heading down the street. She makes it halfways down the street before Naruto grabs her wrist.

“Yeah no. Don’t lie to us Sakura-chan. We’re a team!” She pauses. Breathe, she tells herself. Naruto was not-not  _ that man _ .

“Naruto,”  _ Breathe _ , she tells herself because her voice was higher than usual. “ _ Naruto _ , let me go. I’m fine. Please.” 

He lets go. She should walk away, quickly. She should find Taichi, Michiru, Aoi, Genma, anyone. But her legs are lead and she can’t move. She can feel the tears welling up in her tears, unshed. 

“You’re not.” Sasuke steps in front of her. She’d thought he’d already left. 

“You’re not.” He repeats.

“The idiot is right. You’re not fine.”

“Hey, Sasuke! Don’t you think you’re being mean to- Sakura-chan!”

And she knows, she probably looks really ugly now. Her face is scrunched up trying not to let her tears fall but it overflows anyway. And her sobs are ugly and she hates that she’s crying in front of Sasuke and Naruto. 

Sasuke cuts off Naruto’s mini freak out with a “Can it, idiot.” before slowly reaching for her hand, making sure she can see him doing so. He adjusts his grip before pulling her along. Because Sasuke knows, can recognise someone on the verge of breakdown. For that moment, he could see himself in Sakura. When he was eight, when he’d buried his whole clan, when he looked for answers and there was none to be found. No one asked him if he was okay. And he really doesn’t know where he’s bringing Sakura but he knows she would not want to have a breakdown in public. He surprises himself when they end up at his place. For a moment, he wants to curse at Naruto for opening his mouth but one look at the blond’s face makes him take out his house keys instead. He’d been quiet the whole way.

Sakura’s face is blank when he leads her to the sofa. He doesn’t know what to say and Naruto has taken to sitting on the floor beside her, challenging Sasuke to kick him out. Sasuke goes to make tea, he needed something to do and it seemed like they wouldn’t be moving for a while.

He sets the tea down, putting a cup in her hands. She blinks, as if suddenly realising where she is but doesn’t make a sound, only tightening her grip around the tea. He pauses for a moment, not quite sure what to do next then decides to sacrifice his extra blankets. He’d have to wash them of the sweat and grime they’d picked up from training later. Sakura doesn’t speak for hours. He’s almost certain she’s fallen asleep if it weren’t for her death grip on the tea cup and her glancing at Naruto every so often. When Naruto dozes off though and she’s sure he won’t be waking up anytime soon, she speaks, barely above a whisper. 

“Naruto is close with the Hokage.” Sasuke nods. Sakura relaxes, relieved he’s listening. Naruto would likely tell the hokage which wouldn’t fly, Sakura would not jeopardise her career. If she angered the hokage, he could put her in seduction for the rest of her life. She’s not quite sure how to broach the topic and really, telling Sasuke was nerve wracking. 

“I really like you.” She starts, then realising that this wasn’t exactly true anymore. “No, I think I really liked you. I got desperate after we graduated. Taichi couldn’t help me anymore, I wanted you to be my first.” The last line is barely audible. She pauses, not daring to look at Sasuke’s face. He doesn’t say anything so she continues.

“I guess it doesn’t matter now. I’m sorry I annoyed you. Sasuke-kun, I- I really am fine, or I will be. I’m glad you allowed us in but I just really want everything to be normal again. So, when tomorrow comes, can we just pretend nothing happened?” 

“No. I wish it was so simple Sakura. But things don’t work that way. What did the hokage make you do?” Sasuke's voice goes from weary to hard at the question.

“He didn’t make me do anything. I was recruited, he just signed the approval form.” She draws a shaky breath. “For Konoha. A shinobi must always put the mission first. A shinobi must not show tears during a mission. A shinobi must not show any weakness. A shinobi must always follow their commander’s-”

“Sakura!”

Sasuke grabs her shoulders, shaking her. She gasps, “A shinobi must always follow their commander’s orders! I did it, I followed them! I didn’t break the rules. I put the mission first. I didn’t- I didn’t fight back. I’m not weak!” She sobs into his arms. Sasuke isn’t sure why he does it, maybe because his mother did so whenever he felt sad, maybe it was a moment of weakness, a passing whim, but he pats her head.   
  


“There, there.” Just like mother used to, he thinks. When her sobs calm down, he quietly says, “Sakura. You’re not weak, it’s just that there are some really strong people out there. That’s why we have to be strong as well. Kakashi said it before, those who abandon their friends are scum. We’re here for you.”

Sakura sighs, the tension in her body leaving her, as if some unknown weight had been lifted. She fingers the necklace Michiru gave her, taking a whiff of lavender. 

“My mother liked that. Lavender.” Sasuke’s voice startles her. He re-positions himself beside her, not letting go of her left hand. “She used to always have a vase of them on the table.”

Sakura knows the general opinion of the clan born in the seduction division. She knows if they were all from a clan, they wouldn’t be in there but. But this was Sasuke, the lone wolf in the academy, telling her about his family. The one topic that became taboo around him. So she knows Sasuke’s a clan kid, knows he’s simply born with more rights with her but he’s also her team, so she takes a chance.

“A friend gave it to me before we went to Wave. It helped me to calm down. My mother likes cherry blossom scented things, she was really happy I was born with pink hair, hence the name.”

“My father named me after the hokage’s father, Sarutobi Sasuke. He wanted me to become a great ninja.”

“My parents are genin. They want me to become a chunin at least. Scoring high in the academy got their hopes up.”

“My parents were jounin. My...brother was, is a genius. Everyone had high expectations for me.”

This was nice, Sakura thinks. Easy, mindless conversation. It was like they were finally becoming a team, like gears clicking into place. They’re talking about food, both half awake when the sunlight creeps through the curtains. Sakura yawns.

“Umeboshi and anmitsu.”

“Tomatoes and onigiri.”

“Ramen. Good morning everyone!” 

Sakura and Sasuke jump. Then, aiming the small pillows on the sofa at Naruto.

“What the hell Naruto! Say something if you’ve woken up!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’d like to say that I quite like the idea of Naruto trying his best to straight up ignore many of the flaws he sees in people and taking shit just because he really wants to be accepted and be friends. I like this way more than “Naruto is an idiot who has endless faith because friendship no jutsu”. So I’m rolling with that. But he is a little dumb so he does fall asleep throughout the conversation.   
> Also, Sasuke did become a little shit after defecting but the Sasuke before the shitstorm that is Orochimaru arrived was a tiny shit but not entirely uncaring of his teammates. It is canon that he noticed Sakura was feeling down and tried to cheer her up by complimenting her ability to see through genjutsu. He’s also been training with Kakashi on the side which by extension comes with talking to him so this is a slightly different Sasuke.  
> Hoping I kept everyone in character, do tell me if I butchered someone T T Am more than willing to explain why I thought whichever character would do whatever they did :D  
> We’re also going full AU which I kinda had planned but didn’t want to tag before I actually posted anything because I was worried I would change my mind. 
> 
> Lastly, update is much later because of real life disruptions + this chapter took days to write help. 
> 
> Kindly feed me comments :D


	7. Home

It’s been a week since then. A week of normal, her new safe haven. The three of them had been going over to Sasuke’s house. Naruto basically lived in a dumpster of his own doing and Sakura’s parents were still on a mission so she couldn’t ask if she could have friends over. Sasuke had unwillingly given up his own home. 

Kakashi isn’t quite sure what brought about the change in his team but he’s grateful and more than happy for them to work things out their way. And okay, so maybe he has been rather dramatic about how his ‘cute little genin have grown up and are leaving the nest’. He decreases the number of missions in favour of training them in teamwork, getting each of them more familiar with each other’s strengths and weaknesses.

The three of them are left feeling like crap after each session, barely able to walk back to Sasuke’s apartment. Sakura immediately heads for the kitchen, taking out the curry they’d made and stored in the fridge specifically for such occasions. Sasuke manhandles Naruto to the bathroom so that he doesn’t pass out on the  _ clean _ couch before collapsing in a chair himself. When he hears the shower running, he turns to Sakura.

“Sakura?”

“Yeah? Is this enough for you Sasuke?” She turns around with a plate full of rice.

“More. Why do you have a genjutsu around your neck?”

The smile drops from Sakura’s face and she sets down Sasuke’s plate. She glances at the bathroom door, shaking her head. 

“I was hoping you wouldn't notice. But you’ve been using your sharingan during training. It’s from a mission.” 

“Will you let me see?” Sakura knows he’s being polite. His sharingan would have,  _ had _ seen through her genjutsu. She drops it and removes her hitai-ate for good measure. Sasuke’s mouth hardens into a grim line. The bruises from Katsuragi Takeshi were fading, but the ugly yellow against her skin were still visible. Sasuke gets up and slowly raises his hand, as if to touch her neck. Sakura knows she shouldn’t, knows that this is Sasuke but she flinches anyway. His hand stops shy of touching her and he drops it. 

“Who?”

“Doesn’t matter. He’s dead.” Sakura turns around, adding more rice to Sasuke’s plate. 

“Good.” He turns to the bathroom, banging on the door. “Hey! Get out! I’ll make you pay for my water bill!” 

Sakura doesn’t stay for the night. She’d been away from her own house for too long and needed to make sure her parents hadn’t dropped off any messages since she last saw them. So she’s very surprised to see Taichi in her living room. 

“Where were you?” 

Sakura ignores his gruff tone, deciding to run to him for a hug first.

“Taichi! I missed you!” He’s grouchy but holds her anyway.

“I’m still mad at you but hello Sakura. So, where were you?” Taichi’s voice turns flat at the question.

“My teammate’s place. We started hanging out after training and missions. It was really nice. Normal.” His expression softens at that.

“You didn’t visit. And you weren’t home. Michiru was worried. You also missed Aoi, he was assigned to another mission again.” Sakura bit her lip, her head dipping forward in shame. She’d been so happy to connect with her teammates, she’d forgotten about them. Been more than happy to avoid thinking about anything related to her being a seduction agent. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you and everyone else. I’ve been learning how to cook!”

“I’m not scolding you Sakura.” Taichi sighs, patting her head. “It’s good that you’re making friends aside from us but you can’t just- just not visit. Just come by soon okay? Michiru was worried about your wound. Genma’s dropped off more books since he hasn't seen you, got you some books about genjutsu too. Aoi set aside some sweets for you. We’ll take you on up cooking another day.” He smiles and ruffles her hair.

She pouts for a moment, straightening her hair before hugging him again. 

“Thank you, Taichi.”

He doesn't pat her head like usual. Instead, she can feel his whole body become stiff. And what’s to come breaks her heart but she refuses to let go.

“Agent Haruno. You are now cleared for missions. Visit the office at 0600 to receive your next mission.” Taichi’s voice is thick, choked up. Sakura doesn’t let go so he gently moves her arms away. She lets him guide her to her room where he leaves her. 

Alone.

\---

Sakura doesn’t show up for two weeks. 

When she does show up, it isn’t at the training grounds. It’s in front of Sasuke’s apartment door. Sasuke wants to slam the door in her face but he doesn’t. Mainly because he has no idea how to find her if she leaves but he is petty so he doesn’t move aside to let her in. Instead he crosses his arms and stares at her, waiting for an explanation.

“It was a mission.” She finally says, not daring to meet his eyes. He begrudgingly steps to the side to let her in. 

“Come in. Have you eaten?” 

She shakes her head, still refusing to meet his eyes. Sasuke sighs and turns around, flicking his head towards the chair when Sakura stands awkwardly in the middle of the room. He sets a cup of lavender tea and a plate of onigiri on the table. 

“Eat.” 

He ignores her sniffling as she eats. Ignores the tears that leak from her eyes that she desperately tries to cover up. Instead, he takes the plate away and sets out more lavender tea when she’s done eating.

“The night I went home, I received a mission. I didn’t have time to tell you.” She pauses.

“And?”

“Didn’t want to. Don’t want to. Can I stay here?” 

“We bought futons. Stay, but don’t avoid Naruto.” And there it was, guilt. Because she came back 3 days ago. Had hidden in the room, dead to the world. Had stayed hidden, too afraid to leave. Had returned to the room, losing her nerve once she heard Naruto’s voice. Would not have entered if Sasuke hadn’t opened the door. She didn’t even knock.

“Okay.” 

Sakura wakes in the afternoon. She’s not in the room but she felt safe. So she sighs and sinks back into the futon, turning on her side, preparing to continue a second sleep. The next time she wakes and tries to sleep for the third time, Sasuke throws a pillow at her. When she doesn’t move, he opts to throw another one and ends off by nudging her with his foot when she refuses to respond. 

“Sakura-chan?” 

Sakura bolts awake at Naruto’s voice.

“Wha?”

“He’s been here since morning. Come on.” Sasuke smirks and thankfully drags Naruto away. 

She’s now fully awake. No more third sleep. Maybe she is a little freaked out but, no more avoiding Naruto. Maybe she takes longer than she really needs to in the bathroom. But she does make it to the dining table eventually. Dinner is simple, umeboshi takigohan, grilled fish and miso soup. She takes a second serving of rice, her last meal having been the onigiri from yesterday night.

When they’ve finished eating, Naruto takes the dishes to the sink while Sasuke wipes down the table. Sakura tries to stay at the dining table but it’s a small table and there’s nothing for her to do. Sasuke was also glaring at her. She swallows, preparing herself for a conversation she does not want. Dutifully, just like before, she grabs the dry cloth and begins to dry the dishes Naruto has finished rinsing. Naruto doesn’t meet her eyes but acknowledges her presence by directly passing her the dishes he’s finished washing. It’s a period of long silence before Sasuke’s stares become just a little too overbearing. Sakura cracks first.

“I’m sorry.” She begins. “I just, I was in a bad place and I didn’t know how to face you without…” She gestures lamely with her hands, accidentally flicking water onto Naruto’s face. Naruto blinks, using his sleeve to wipe his face.

“It’s fine, y’know. Just, just don’t do it again.” He says, uncharisterically soft.

“Okay.” Then, as if a weight has been lifted from her shoulders, her whole body relaxes and she sighs. “Thank you.” 

They stand just a little bit closer together after that. 

\---

It starts slowly. 

Toiletries left behind. His extra towels being claimed. New towels being bought, in a glaring shade of orange and a much softer shade of pink. They bought pillows and futons while Sakura was gone. A topic she still hasn't said anything about. New cups and plates fill the cabinet. Sakura brings over her bento boxes. The shelves get filled with ramen. Sakura brings in a claypot. Sasuke puts a vase of lavender flowers on the table. He doesn’t mention that he took it from the Uchiha storage. 

Suddenly, Sasuke can’t recognise his apartment anymore. Because it actually looks like a home for once. And he hasn't felt like he was home in almost 5 years. There’s the smell of lavender in the apartment, he knows he isn’t at the Uchiha compound. He knows his family is dead. He knows he needs to avenge them. He knows the sounds coming from the kitchen are not, can not be his mother. He is not disappointed when he sees Sakura there though. Because this was home, different from before but still home. And for a moment, he feels like he could rest. Feels like he could just breathe, close his eyes, without smelling blood, without seeing corpses. It’s wishful thinking, the images have only gotten more vivid since that day and yet. 

Sakura hasn’t noticed him yet, Naruto is dead to the world as usual. He lets a trickle of chakra enter his eyes, fully intending to memorise this day. It’s tranquil for a moment, the soft chopping coming from the kitchen, a smell of rice being cooked, Naruto’s gentle snoring. Then he sees it, the genjutsu covering Sakura’s arms. It’s faint but he can see the chakra covering her arms, an even thinner layer than before. 

He’s silent when he enters the kitchen and Sakura is so absorbed in her cooking she doesn’t even notice. So she startles when Sasuke grabs her arm, turning her body sideways to point the knife at his throat. Sasuke is quick to react, stopping her arm before it can come closer. She surprises him by kicking him in the crotch then using her weight to push him to the floor, straddling him and putting the knife against his neck. She’s panting, eyes unfocused and each breath she takes is sharp and harsh. As if she doesn’t recognise him, is trying hard to recognise him. 

“Sakura-chan.” Naruto’s voice is soft, still tinged with sleep and his grip is gentle as he removes the knife from her hand. He’d woken while Sasuke was memorising the scene but didn’t want to say anything. Sasuke had been doing that for a while now. As if peace was a concept so foreign to him, he had to memorise the taste of it each time he saw a glimpse of it. Sasuke still has his sharingan on so he can clearly see her trying hard to breathe, her ragged breaths shaking her whole body. The tears welling up in her eyes, unshed. The way her hands stay upright, gripping a weapon that was no longer there. Sasuke can’t help but wonder what happened to her this time. Can’t unsee the genjutsu she still has on her arms, never released the entire time she was here. Wonders what would happen if he can’t see through her genjutsu one day. It’s not a thought he wants to entertain. 

The rice cooker eventually beeps, shrill in the quiet. Sakura doesn’t turn her head but she does snap out of it, blinking furiously and he can see the exact moment she realises what has happened because she squeaks and stumbles backwards. Her head hits the bottom ledge of the counter but her face is redder than her hair and she buries her head in her hands. 

Sasuke spares a moment to share a look with Naruto who shrugs in return. Sasuke’s surprised Sakura could pin him for a moment and if this was a while ago, he would have been angry, would have used this to fuel his drive to get stronger. And he still is going to do that but he’s just a little proud Sakura had reacted, she wasn't spacing out like before. If he was an enemy, Sakura would have been able to do something. A small part of him sighs in relief at that as he sits down beside Sakura. She’s no longer breathing harshly, if anything the tips of her ears are red. 

“It’s fine, Sakura. Shouldn’t have crept up on you.” He says. Naruto eyes them for a moment then gives up trying to figure out what happened. He turns to the bathroom, grumbling about weird teammates. Sakura and Sasuke share a chuckle at that. 

“Still sorry.” Sakura offers, tilting her head slightly to glance at Sasuke. Sasuke dismisses her apology with a wave, getting up and offering her his hand. 

“So, what were you making?” He picks up her book, turning it over to look at the cover page.  _ The intricacies of cooking with a clay pot _ . 

“Sesame oil chicken. I had it before, from the Akimichi store. Thought it would be nice to share.” She grabs his hand, pulling herself up. Then realises the knife was nowhere to be found. She sighs, taking another knife out, she’d have to ask Naruto where he’d taken it to later. Sasuke stares at the book for a moment then starts grabbing the veggies from the fridge. Sakura goes back to dicing chicken.

\---

They get to training late but Kakashi is later so they get off scot free. Sasuke blows off his training with Kakashi in favour of making sure Sakura follows them back to the apartment. When Sakura emerges from the bathroom, he makes Naruto go next. Then sits beside her with the first aid kit. She looks at the floor then drops her genjustsu. Sasuke sucks in a breath at the rope burns around her wrists and the bruises running up her arm. Then starts spreading cream over her arms. Bandages cover her arms and she casts another genjutsu before Naruto comes out. When dinner comes however, she has to go.

“I promised, I’ll be back.” Sasuke hmphs at her when he sends her out. Naruto sends her off with a much more cheerful “See you later, Sakura-chan!”

Sakura isn’t dreading going to the room, she does miss them. But the room brings with it a reminder of what they all are. Sasuke’s apartment on the other hand, a normal so nice she’d die to protect it. Home. So maybe she goes through the maze a little faster than usual. Maybe she hugs Michiru and Taichi a little harder because she feels slightly guilty. Maybe she isn’t as happy as she usually would be when Aoi and Genma show up. All she knows is that she declines the offer to stay for the night and can barely keep herself from bolting through the door when the clock shows that it’s ten. Taichi saves her from making excuses when he volunteers to walk her out. 

“It’s okay. The room’s there for those who need it. I don’t like clan kids but if you’re happy then it’s fine.” He pats her head. Sakura smiles, hugging Taichi. 

“I’ll be back.” She says. Whether she wants to or not, she thinks. Taichi doesn't respond, just continues to pat her head then sending her off when they’ve reached the end of the maze. When she reaches Sasuke’s place, she’s slightly out of breath. Grabbing the key Sasuke had given both of them, she’s barely inserted it when the door swings open.

“Sakura-chan!” Naruto opens his arms wide to give her a hug. She returns it, moving to pull Sasuke into the hug as well. He doesn’t return the hug but he doesn’t move away either.

She’s home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umeboshi takigohan - Rice cooked with broth and umeboshi (sakura’s favourite food)  
> The intricacies of cooking with a clay pot - The book Taichi gave Sakura in chapter 1
> 
> Am using ‘hitai-ate’ now because ‘forehead protector’ is a pain to write lol  
> Katsuragi Takeshi is the dude from ch2 Sakura and Taichi were sent to seduce.
> 
> Started writing this immediately after the previous chapter (way too keyed up with Team 7 feels) so *throws chapter* take this!  
> Jokes aside, I was debating posting this because it turned into Team 7 bonding which we already had last chapter and there’s so many other things that have not been written yet (happening/already happened). But we’re approaching the chunin exams (yes I have a timeline and it makes me cry), it’s also the end of spring (thank you for the nice coincidental timing so I get to put in more symbolism haha) so…  
> Again, your comments give me life <3 Call it an ego boost if you will :D


	8. Bonds

_I recommended you to join the chunin exams._

_You’re free to decide whether you want to participate._

Sakura hadn’t said a word since they came back. Instead, she’d hit the books the moment they returned. Her workspace now consisted of the floor, any part of it she decided to place paper or book on. So Sasuke and Naruto were left to sit at the dining table, lest they disturb her by trying to get to the sofa. 

“Y’know, why is she even studying now? It’s not like a week is going to make a difference. We don’t even know what we’ll be tested on.” Sasuke sighs, so _this_ is why Naruto constantly failed in exams. 

“You ever heard of revision, Naruto?” Sasuke tilts his head to look at Sakura’s notes, using the sharingan to see what was on it without disturbing her. No wonder she always scored high in class.

“Hey! I don’t know what you’re implying but I don’t like it!” Naruto scrambles up the table to glare at him. “In the first place! It’s not like I’m that bad! Shikamaru doesn’t study either!” Sasuke almost misses it, the way Sakura tenses up at Shikamaru’s name. It’s tiny, he wouldn’t have seen it if he wasn’t using his sharingan. “And he’s not even awake in class so- Hey! Look at me when I’m talking!” It’s a moment more before she continues writing, as if she never stopped. Sasuke turns to look at Naruto.

“Get off the table Naruto.” Sasuke goes to the kitchen to grab a cloth and throws it at Naruto.

Naruto carefully avoids the vase when he comes down from the table, wiping it down. “Ah! I won’t be here for dinner today. I’m meeting Iruka-sensei at Ichiraku! Y’know, he said you guys are welcome to join anytime.”

“We know. But you enjoy yourself today. I want to finish this topic before dinner.” 

“I’ll cook then.” Sasuke offers. 

\---

Three days after they received their recommendation letter, Sakura doesn’t take out her books after dinner. Instead, she sits at the table with them. It’s a moment before she can work up the nerve to say it but Taichi’s voice echoes in her mind.

_The moment I made chunin, they gave me solo missions, put me on teams with anbu._

She’d known a week wouldn’t be enough. Had been in denial but it was time to face facts. All the time she’d spent studying genjutsu and poison wasn’t enough. If she became chunin now, she’d never leave the seduction division. She needed time, enough time to hone a skill more valuable than being bait. Sasuke and Naruto would make chunin first, she could only hope they’d continue to be in the same team but even if they weren’t, they’d still meet up here. That much she was sure. So her voice is calm when she says.

“I’m not going for the chunin exams.”

“What!? Why! We should all join together! Then we’ll become chunin and steal the bell from Kakashi-sensei!”

Sasuke shoves a senbei into Naruto’s mouth. “Shut it idiot. Why?”

“I,” Sakura glances at Naruto for a moment before looking at Sasuke, meeting his eyes. “I can’t. I can’t be chunin yet. Not now. If I become chunin now, I’ll be stuck.”

“In the bad place you spoke about before?” Naruto asks, washing down the senbei with tea then tries to shove one down Sasuke’s throat.

“Yea.” Sakura pauses sipping her tea. “I’ll still come to support you guys! We’re team seven no matter what! I’ll cook whatever you guys want when you make chunin, we can have a party. Maybe invite Kakashi-sensei?”

“Hmm…” Naruto sits on the floor where he’s given up on shoving a senbei down Sasuke’s throat. Sasuke, for his part, has crumbs on his face. “Then I won’t join too! Sorry Sasuke.”

“Oi! What happened to wanting to be hokage?”

“W-well, I guess jii-chan can be hokage for a while longer! Don’t worry! Something like being hokage is nothing for me!” 

“Hmph. It’s not like ‘chunin’ means anything, it’s just a title. I can get stronger even without that. And I can track him down even without you, don’t get ahead of yourself Naruto.” Sasuke finishes wiping the crumbs off his face, “Don’t look at us like that Sakura. Not attending the chunin exams now does nothing to our goals.”

“Thank you.” She gets up, drawing them both into a hug on the floor. She doesn’t deserve them, she thinks.

“Aw, Sakura-chan! Y’know if you-”

“Shut up, you’re killing the mood.” Sasuke shoves the senbei in Naruto’s hand into Naruto’s mouth. 

The next day, all three of them return their recommendation letter to Kakashi who’s so surprised he’s actually frozen for a while before following them to the mission office. He groans, he’s never going to live this down. His genin turned down his recommendation. 

“Kakashi-sensei! Wanna join us for dinner tonight? Sakura’s cooking!” 

“Hmm? Is that so? When did you learn how to cook, Sakura?”

“Huh? Oh, a friend gave me a book. I’ve been practising for a while now, at least, it should be edible.” Or everyone has been lying to her, she thinks, face red.

“Well, I’m looking forward to it.” Kakashi says, patting her head.

Kakashi isn’t sure what he’s expecting when they lead him to Sasuke’s house of all places. He’d been aware that they’d been spending more time together but he didn’t realise they’d practically moved into Sasuke’s place. Lavender flowers adorn the house, in vases that looked too expensive for mere genin to afford. But there’s more, a new bookshelf, painted pink, orange and blue already bursting with books. Knickknacks line the table where the TV sits, many in sets of three. The sofa has too many small pillows but the place looks like a home. Lived in. A stark contrast to six months ago when he visited with the sandaime. He knows Sasuke would be horrified if he knew they’d visited his place without him knowing so he refrains from commenting about the change.

They enter the apartment quickly, tossing their shoes to the side of the entrance. Sakura makes a beeline for the bathroom while Naruto takes two pots out and places it on the stove. Sasuke starts making tea. By the time Sakura exits the bathroom, Sasuke has served tea and started cooking rice. He takes Naruto’s place in watching the pots when Naruto heads to the bathroom, Sakura starts cracking eggs into a bowl. Kakashi can smell the curry in the two pots. It only takes thirty minutes before they have a full meal laid out, curry rice and tamagoyaki. 

“Um, we made enough for Pakkun and the others too.” So that was what the second pot was for, Kakashi thinks as he summons his pack. Sakura starts placing shallow dishes on the floor. 

“Oh! Hello kids!” Pakkun greets them. 

“We made food for you guys!”

“It smells delicious!” A chorus of ‘thank you’ came from the pack as they gathered around the dishes. Kakashi can already tell that they’ve won over his dogs. And the teasing that would ensue when they learnt they rejected Kakashi’s recommendation. He can tell they’re still trying to see behind his mask so he takes great pleasure in casting genjutsu while making a big show of eating slowly enough that they were wondering just _how_ they were able to miss seeing his face. 

Kakashi joins them for dinner regularly after this. He’s pulled to help with security for the chunin exams, especially where the foreign shinobi are housed. Sakura disappears a few more times, days at a time for missions. Kakashi, for his part, tries to leave them a training schedule. Left alone, Sasuke and Naruto try to make headway in team attacks. This becomes their new normal. A routine is built. Naruto and Sasuke don’t ask where Sakura has been. Kakashi never visits without Sakura being present. Then, Sakura shows up, face tear streaked.

She collapses onto the sofa and all the lavender tea in the world cannot calm her down. It’s hours later, when her tears have dried up, that the story comes out in bits and pieces. She has her face buried in the pillows but there are three cup ramen being cooked.

“I’m getting a sibling.” She murmurs into the pillow.

“...huh?” Naruto stops mid-slurp, not understanding the reason for her outburst. Sasuke, is more dignified, actually finishes chewing before asking her to elaborate.

“They were never happy I wanted to be a shinobi.” She pauses, burying her head further so that her tears do not fall again. “They’re originally civilians. I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t have enrolled me in the academy at all if they could.” She flops to lie on her back once she makes sure she won’t cry again. “They really hated it when I told them I really wanted to be a shinobi. Now that I am one, I guess they’ve fulfilled their obligation to Konoha. So I’m being replaced.” 

“Obligation? Explain.” Sasuke quickly asks before putting Sakura’s cup ramen in front of Naruto, effectively gagging him from saying something...stupid.

“Wartime policy. Every household has to give their child to the nation. My parents were like that too. They wanted me to be a civilian, away from all of...” She gestures with her hands, “this, I guess.”

“But you said they wanted you to be chunin.” Sasuke presses.

“Chunin get to pick better missions, C-ranks pay more too.” She covers her eyes with her arms. “I’m not...mad at them, I just…” She trails off, not sure how to finish her sentence.

“Move in.” Sasuke says, then realising what he just said, he brings the cup ramen to his face. “You’ve basically been living here anyway. Just live here if you don’t want to face your parents.” He finishes his ramen quickly then gets up, hiding his face but Naruto can see how the tips of his ears are red. 

“I’m moving in too!” Naruto declares as he finishes his ramen.

“Your plants don’t leave the balcony!” Sasuke points with his chopsticks from in the kitchen where he’s preparing two more cup ramen. Naruto had given them all plants a while back. Sasuke’s had died much to Naruto’s dismay. 

“Then Sakura can’t have more books than the bookshelf! My feet hurt!” Naruto stares balefully at the books stacked on the floor.

“Done. Sasuke’s in charge of groceries!” I can always get more bookshelves, she thinks. She takes the ramen Sasuke offers her with a smile as Sasuke lays out more demands for Naruto.

Home, she thinks as Naruto short circuits from Sasuke’s demands, mainly about restricting his ramen pile. Naruto hadn’t even bought new ramen to fill up Sasuke’s cupboards, he merely brought them over from his place. 

Moving into Sasuke’s apartment went smoothly. She’d picked a date where her parents would not be home. Naruto had managed to get storage scrolls off an ‘ero-sennin’, she and Sasuke didn’t really understand what he meant by that but he seemed...happy? They were more than happy to leave it at that if Naruto was happy training with an 'ero-sennin'. It’s not like Naruto or she could join in on Sasuke’s special sharingan sessions with Kakashi. 

She resolves to make Naruto get them more of these storage scrolls at the end of the move though. She could already see the potential to store even more books in the apartment. Sasuke wishes he put a limit on the number of bookshelves but who would have thought Sakura would turn the living room into a library. His balcony was slowly resembling a jungle and there was dirt on the floor from when the three of them barely managed to move Naruto's biggest plant into place. Naruto is even using the storage scrolls to store more ramen. Sasuke doesn’t know whether to be impressed by them finding loopholes in the rules or pissed. He can’t even kick them out now. 

They throw a housewarming party. Sakura invites her friends from the seduction division, Naruto invites Iruka, Shikamaru, Chouji and his ‘ero-sennin’. Sakura stops him from inviting Konohamaru. She has nothing against him but his childish jokes about Sakura living together with them wasn’t something she wanted to entertain. It’s a small affair and they don’t have enough chairs so they prepare the place buffet style, the dining table is shifted to the side of the room with all the food while everyone else sits or stands around. 

Iruka is the first to arrive, complete with a gift - a matching tea set for them. He helps them in preparing the place. They’re seated on the sofa when the first knock is heard. Sakura happily opens it to see Michiru and Taichi. She draws them in for a hug before anything. They’d supported her moving in despite their general dislike of the clan born. She can see the exact moment Iruka’s jaw drops, recognition lighting up his features. 

“...You’re alive!” Iruka stands up, face in disbelief. “I can’t believe you’re-”

Their faces harden, smiles lost. Michiru steps forward. “Okay, let’s have a little chat. You don’t mind if I borrow your guest for a moment yea?” Sasuke puts a senbei into Naruto’s mouth effectively cutting off the one and only protest. Michiru drags Iruka out. 

“We got these for you.” Taichi says in Michiru’s absence. Hanafuda, Sakura thinks then, _custom hanafuda_. She picks up a card, appreciative of the details painted onto them.

“You guys know how to play hanafuda?” Taichi asks.

Naruto shakes his head vigorously. Iruka nearly faints when he comes back in and sees his ex-academy students learning how to gamble. It gets worse when Shikamaru and Chouji arrive. Shikamaru is so pale, he looks like he would hide in his shadow if he was allowed. Taichi, for his part, doesn’t do anything. It’s a convincing act, you’d believe it was their first time meeting if it weren’t for Shikamaru’s palpable fear. Sasuke doesn’t comment on how Sakura almost seems like she’s avoiding Shikamaru. It’s a topic for another day, without guests, maybe when Naruto is asleep too. Maybe he needs to hunt down Shikamaru as well. Maybe. 

Jiraiya is the next to arrive, loudly introducing himself as the Toad Sage of Mount Myoboku, complete with summoning frogs. 

“Ero-sennin! You came! Hehe! What’s your present?”

“Hah!? You mean all those storage scrolls weren’t enough for you? Naruto! I’m disappointed in you, do you know how expensive those were!”

“Tch, cheapskate. I know you make these by yourself!” Naruto points triumphantly at Jiraiya. “Make some more for us! Sakura-chan wants to get more books and I want more ramen!” Naruto clings to him, pulling on his haori.

The sun is setting as Sasuke and Sakura share an exasperated look. Naruto’s ‘ero-sennin’ is as much an idiot as him. A knock at the balcony draws their attention. Genma and Kakashi wave from behind the door. Kakashi is perched on the ledge since there’s barely any space left to stand with Naruto’s plants everywhere. Sakura sighs, one day, a plant is going to fall off onto the street and they are going to be charged with littering. She unlocks the door and greets Genma with a hug. 

“Hey kid,” Genma smiles and messes up her hair. “Still working on that genjutsu teacher but got you a little something in the meantime.” He waves the book in his hand. Kakashi looks mildly offended. Genma carries Sakura back through the balcony door with Kakashi following behind him. Then he stops short and does an awkward bow, with Sakura still at his hip, as he sees Jiraiya.

“Ji-Jiraiya-sama!” Kakashi peeks out from behind Genma then seeing the way Naruto was clinging to Jiraiya and putting two and two together. He looks at Genma then Jiraiya, his two students then lastly at Sasuke. 

“Sasuke, you’re officially my favourite student.” 

\---

It’s late at night and all the genin are falling asleep against their wishes. Asuma and Chouza arrive to pick up Shikamaru and Chouji before it gets any later. Genma leaves with them, bidding Sakura goodnight before following ‘Chouza-sensei’. The remaining genin are put to sleep while the remaining adults pack up in their stead. It’s silent as they pack up before Iruka finally speaks up. 

“Will anyone explain to me how my stud- _genin_ , know seduction agents?” He grits out. That earns him dirty looks from everyone. He refuses to back down, these were his precious students. 

“Why do you think?” Michiru retorts, seeing his chin pointed high. “We’ve known Sakura ever since she was in the academy anyway. ‘Genin’ means nothing.” 

“What. There’s no-” Iruka protests, forgetting that the three genin are in the next room for a moment.

“Stand down, Shinobi.” Jiraiya cuts him off. “You need to relearn the shinobi rules.” He admonishes. Iruka drops his head in shame.

The two seduction agents finish washing the dishes, then eyeing the sennin, give curt nods. “We’ll be taking our leave then, Jiraiya-sama.” 

When it’s just the two jounin left, Minato’s teacher and student, Kakashi finally speaks up.

“Will you be taking Naruto away, Jiraiya-sama?”

“No. The kid wouldn’t stop pestering me.” He pauses, “He reminds me of Minato. He’s not a genius like him but sometimes, the things he says sometimes.” Jiraiya pinches his brow. Minato had died too young. He looks at Kakashi for a moment, remembering how Minato had gone to him for advice, tears in his eyes.

_I was too late. We couldn’t even bring his body back._

_Sensei, what do I do? Kakashi’s not sleeping. He wakes up screaming every night. I can’t- can’t keep knocking him out just so he rests. I can’t lose him too._

He’d been at the front lines, struggling to hold the fort. Tsunade would freeze up in battle and at the hospital while Orochimaru struggled to fill in the gaps left by her. He watched as his team fell apart, drifted as they got assigned to fill different roles. And after many long years away from Konoha, he’d come back to a Minato at breaking point. A Minato who was trying his best to put on a cheerful front for Konoha while keeping what was left of his team afloat. He couldn’t even be there for him as he was called to fulfill tasks that led him far away from the village. And then it was his turn to be too late. Tsunade left the village. Minato was dead. Orochimaru defected. He lets out a long sigh.

“I’ll leave the village eventually. Take care of him for me, Kakashi.” 

“Yes, Jiraiya-sama.”

\---

It’s midnight. 

Team seven wakes up in the forest of death, surrounded by snakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everytime I find some tiny new trivia about a character that is hella insignificant, I go on a wild google rabbit hole so guess what, Naruto likes watering plants. And because I spent time searching for that fact and clarifying that he likes watering plants not gardening, I found out he gave Kakashi a plant for good measure. Now someone direct me to a fic about Naruto just giving people plants and then making sure to water all the out of town shinobi’s plants. Or maybe I’ll put that into this fic.
> 
> I’d like to note that team 7 does not meet the sand siblings as Kakashi never sent them home early due to bad teamwork and Iruka’s pre chunin test thing never happens either.  
> We’re going so AU I’m terrified I am/have already missed something, please feel free to point out stuff that happened in the background that might be easily overlooked. Chapters are gonna take longer now because more research needs to be done to ensure I don’t contradict myself/miss anything.
> 
> Praying for action scenes to turn out semi-decent lol


	9. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things get much darker in this chapter and going forward. Trigger warnings galore. If you cannot stomach this, please feel free to stop. Things will get worse.

Sasuke is the first to wake. The feeling of not right is immediate. But it is too dark, he can barely see the silhouette of Naruto and Sakura. They are in the dead of summer, the insects are loud, the canopy blocks whatever scant moonlight there is but he cannot miss the giant snakes around them. For a moment, he wonders if this was a dream, another episode of Itachi’s torture that he blocked out. But sense takes over, Naruto and Sakura would not be here. The dirt under him is very real, the humid air around him is real and he can’t help but think they are going to die if they don’t move. 

As the canopy shifts with the wind and moonlight shines through, he can see that he is  _ not _ the first to wake. Sakura is silent, tears leaking, eyes entirely unfocused, reliving a nightmare. Naruto stirs to his other side. And the moonlight reveals they are not alone with the snakes. 

“Aw, are you too scared to move?” A raspy voice comes from behind them. Sakura sits straighter and if she was capable of making a sound, her voice would have hitched. “Ah, I wonder what you’re seeing now. Little seduction agent.” His tongue, long like a snake, comes to caress the side of her face. Sasuke wants to cut that tongue off, wants to move to rip Sakura away but he’s frozen in place. And his brain is screaming at him to move, move move move move MOVE. He doesn’t move. 

The man, woman,  _ thing _ ’s hand snakes around Sakura’s neck and he can see Sakura flinch so violently she starts to hyperventilate. The thing’s lips arch upwards in a crude imitation of a smile. It croons at her, “Ahh, well  _ this  _ is fun.” It tilts his head to look at Sasuke, daring him to stop it, taking delight in the way he’s frozen. 

_ I didn’t fight back. _

Sakura’s voice echoes in his mind, the words from that first night. The marks she covered up. He barely registers Naruto’s tap from behind but his body remembers so it’s entirely by force of muscle memory that he reacts at all. He leans forward, eyes not leaving Sakura’s face and feels Naruto using him as a springboard to launch himself at the thing. He catches Sakura as Naruto punches the thing and rips her from his hands. 

A strangled cry comes out from her and not a moment later, Naruto flies by them, crashing into the tree behind them. He wants to look back, check if he’s okay but the thing in front of them is completely unscathed from Naruto’s punch. In fact, he looks absolutely delighted. Sasuke hears a groan from behind him, he can only hope that means that Naruto is fi- still alive. 

He needs to grab them and run. Run because they cannot survive this. His legs are shaking so bad, they will give out any moment so he needs to move before that happens. Because this was worse than Wave. There is no Kakashi, Naruto might be dying or dead and Sakura is completely unresponsive. Then he sees the kunai in the thing’s hand. And they’re going to die die die, are  _ dead  _ because he saw the kunai flying towards them and he wasn’t able to dodge. Sakura is dead because he didn’t even manage to throw her away from the kunai’s flight path and. And he is not dead because if he was he wouldn’t be able to have these thoughts. He vomits.

Vaguely, he’s aware that he’s dropped Sakura. He can still see the kunai in the thing’s hand, and he’s about to throw it at them so they really need to move this time. It’s Sakura who moves. She doesn’t think, cannot think all she hears is Taichi screaming at her, pleading for her to move or they were going to die so far away from Konoha the wildlife would have eaten their bodies clean and they would never be identified, never be found. She doesn’t feel her muscles screaming at her as she turns her back on the enemy and scoops Sasuke up around the middle, hoisting him onto her shoulder. She barely registers his grunt as his soft middle meets her shoulder. She can’t, won’t feel the pull of her right arm, protesting as she drags Naruto by the collar up the tree. She’s vaguely aware of the thing laughing behind her but all that is on her mind is to run run run run run. 

But Sasuke can hear it, the words spoken amidst the laughter, “How long can you run?” And he’s aware his own legs are jelly and he’s still completely shaken as he lets chakra trickle into his eyes. Can see Naruto being dragged by Sakura, her knuckle white grip on his collar. He’s still breathing, he thinks and he should be relieved but an ugly part of him asks,  _ for how long _ ?

He can hear Sakura panting, her breaths are harsh in his ear and she is running at a speed he knows she cannot maintain, especially while carrying the two of them. She needs to stop or they will eventually be forced to and die, caught unawares. He can’t get his voice to work, fear still choking him. 

“...Sakura...Stop.” She doesn’t hear him. “ _ Sakura _ .” He says, more urgently this time. He grabs her hand, trying to get her to respond to him but Sakura is still running. 

“ _ Sakura _ !” He struggles against her now. She needed to stop  _ now _ . Sasuke’s wish is granted but not by Sakura’s own volition, her foot gets caught in a vine and they tumble down. Only her grip prevents them from falling onto a forest floor they cannot see. He can smell the metallic tint of blood from her and yet, she gets up again. She wrestles her foot out from the root and it’s definitely twisted. She lets a hiss out when she places pressure on her leg but doesn’t spare another second as she tightens her grip on them and leaps to the next branch. And Sasuke doesn’t know what else to do except dig his fingers into her arm, watch as she flinches and turns her face to him. 

“ _ Stop _ .” He grits out, staring into her eyes. She drags in a breath, eyes not seeing him but obeying as she comes to a standstill at the next branch they land on. “Let go of me.” It takes a moment but Sakura’s grip loosens just enough for him to drop to the branch. His legs give out and he has to stick his kunai into the trunk of the tree to use as a handrail. 

“Let Naruto go.” Sakura doesn’t move.

“Let him  _ go _ .” He needed to check if Naruto was still breathing, check for other wounds. Sakura, thankfully moves to place Naruto beside him but her knuckle white grip takes even longer to be released. When she finally lets go, she stands there awkwardly, arms stiff. He can tell she’s still not entirely here but this is better than before. They have a chance if they can move. 

He turns to Naruto, not quite sure what to do. He doesn’t know where the thing had hit Naruto, he only hopes he doesn’t have a concussion. Their only saving grace is that they were kidnapped while in their shinobi gear. When he looks over Naruto however, he’s pleasantly surprised to see that he only has some light bruising. He can only hope he wakes soon. He gulps in air and it’s harsh on his lungs. It’s painful but as he looks at Sakura, he can’t help but wonder how she’s not making a single sound. Her ankle is turning an ugly shade, her knees are scraped up and she has a long cut running up her leg. 

He tries to get up and barely manages to keep standing. He’s dizzy from the effort and he knows he won’t be able to carry Naruto. And he knows it’s unfair, Sakura should be keeping pressure off her ankle but he orders her to carry Naruto. She obeys, ignoring protesting arms and ankle. They’re still panting and it’s too loud in the forest. He forces himself to go up, high up beyond the canopy to get a vantage point. 

_ We’re still in the village _ . He lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. There’s a large tower in the middle of the trees in typical Konoha style. They’re closer to the tower but there’s no telling what could be in there. At best, Konoha ninja were there and they would get help, if the ones there were strong enough to help them. At worst, more enemies or they trap themselves, waiting to die. He stares to his right where he can see the tiny lights from the village. It’s further, he doesn’t know if that was the direction they came from, too disoriented to know which way Sakura had run from. But it was their only shot. Get out, find a patrolling ninja. He drops back down beside Naruto and Sakura. 

“Sakura.” She turns her head to him. “We’re getting out of here. The village is that way. Do you understand?” She tilts her head at him. “ _ The village is that way _ .” He shakes her shoulders. She nods. They run and Sasuke is trying to pace them even though they should be running as fast as they can to the village but it’s useless if both of them pass out. He tries not to think of the giant insects they’ve seen passing by just under them, praying that they wouldn’t turn around and try to eat them. 

**_Four hours to sunrise_ ** **.**

Hatake Kakashi is a jounin with a nose keener than most even with a mask on. So when he smells the unmistakable stench of rotting corpses and old blood, he beckons the surrounding anbu to him to investigate. 

Mitarashi Anko is a tokujo, proctor of the chunin exams and was the star pupil of the traitor Orochimaru. So she recognises her old teacher’s handiwork. The faces of the Grass shinobi are missing. The bodies have been dead longer than last time she saw them alive. 

Nara Shikaku is the jounin commander, head of the Nara clan, he’s lived through two world wars and worked with Orochimaru before. He remembers the trail of dead bodies that follow the man, there must be more. 

Hiruzen Sarutobi is hokage, he’s lived through three wars, led two of them personally and practically raised Orochimaru. He remembers being blindsided, being in denial. He orders the anbu to mobilise, sweep the village, leave no stone unturned. 

Jiraiya is a jounin,  _ the _ toad sage of Mount myoboku, spy master of Konoha. He drowns himself in the three things a shinobi must not. He’s not sure if sentiment brings him there but he visits his godson’s place. And even his very drunk self can tell, the figures in the futon are not the children he got to know just weeks ago. For starters, they are dead. His blood chills and he can’t help but remember Minato’s words.

_ I can’t lose him too. _

For a moment, he’s lost. He remembers burying his friends. He remembers carving their names. He remembers trying to gather enough of them to bury.  _ He can’t do this again _ . 

“Jiraiya-sama.”

He turns his head. When had he dropped to his knees? He opens his mouth to respond but nothing comes out. He tastes the saltiness of his tears on his lips. 

“Jiraiya-sama.” Kakashi takes a step forward. And Jiraiya can’t let Kakashi see this. 

_ Sensei, what do I do? Kakashi’s not sleeping. He wakes up screaming every night. I can’t- can’t keep knocking him out just so he rests. I can’t lose him too. _

Minato’s voice echoes. Jiraiya turns around and jerks forward. Kakashi stops, careful because Jiraiya looks like he will rip someone apart even as tears flow freely from his eyes. 

_ My students. Obito is out there somewhere. Where is his body? Rin came back in a box, a hole in her chest. Where is her heart? Kakashi came back. Where is his sanity?  _

Then Minato was in a box.

_ Dan came back in a box. Where is Nawaki? Where is my brother? Give him back to me! _

It was Orochimaru who dug through the field of cooked guts. Digging and digging, his hands soiled with the guts of fallen shinobi. He had shook his head, there was nothing to bury. They lost Tsunade that day. 

_ My students died. They cut them up piece by piece while they were alive. Why is human life so fragile? _

He probably lost Orochimaru that day too. 

He covers Kakashi’s eyes and it goes against the copy ninja’s every instinct but he stays still.

“...Don’t look. I’ll do it.” He can’t. But he will. Then he will find the sick fuck who did this and personally end them.

“Jiraiya-sama. It’s not them.” Kakashi says, voice barely controlled. “I  _ know _ my genin.” Jiraiya lets his hand drop from Kakashi’s face. He shouldn’t but his heart leaps and his strides are wide but truly, the figures in their futons are  _ not _ them. A crudely done henge to the corpses, but it’s not them. The blood around the mangled corpses are not theirs. He lets out a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding. He doesn’t have to bury them. He’s vaguely aware Kakashi is still speaking but his mind is still reeling from the shock and relief. 

Where are they?

**_Four hours to sunrise._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s hella dark but I will admit I kept mistyping snakes as snacks in this chapter. Thank god for ctrl f.


	10. Four

Naruto wakes with hair in his mouth. He feels the weightlessness of being carried and hopping through trees. But the person carrying him is small, the hair is pink and he can see a very swollen ankle. It’s not Iruka or Kakashi. Belatedly, he realises Sakura is carrying him. He groans as his jaw hits Sakura’s head when he tries to speak. Thankfully, Sasuke notices that he’s awake.

“Stop.” He orders. They land on the next branch and Sasuke nervously watches as  _ something _ crawls beneath them. 

“Can you run, Naruto?” 

“Yeah. We need to treat Sakura-chan, her an-”

“We  _ can’t _ . Konoha is that way, we need to run.” 

Naruto doesn’t argue when he sees Sasuke’s eyes, blazing red in the darkness. Desperate.

He just nods. He doesn’t comment on how far away Sakura seemed. Doesn’t point out that Sasuke’s leg is bleeding as well. They run.

They might have a chance, Sasuke thinks as they run past another creature that ignores their presence. But of course, nothing is ever easy. He’s not sure what it is but they’ve stumbled into a whole nest of them. It’s Sakura who gets them out again, pulling them by the collar. Her foot rolls as she hits the branch but she doesn’t stop. When they’re far away, she finally slows down and gives them a once over. Then, dropping them to the ground, she draws a kunai and stabs. Again and again and again. Sasuke pulls the giant leech off Naruto who looks much paler than before. Sakura’s hands are bloody and she stares at them for a moment. And it’s the worst time for her to come to her senses because she can feel her body screaming at her to stop. She pukes at the pain, momentarily falling on all fours as she blacks out. She shudders, any longer and they would have lost Naruto. 

“Sakura!” She feels arms holding her up, holding her face away from her own puke, preventing her from face planting into it. She sucks in a breath of air. She wishes she can go back to that state of nothingness. Where she couldn’t feel the pain and could just move but she can barely keep herself from collapsing right now. She’s vaguely aware that she’s not on a mission, not running from enemy shinobi. There is no Taichi, this is  _ not _ that mission. There is no Kakashi-sensei, this is not Wave. She wipes her hands on the bark, trying to get the blood off. Then she reaches for the necklace Michiru gave her. A necklace she can’t reach for. She grasps at her neck, fights when hands grab hers, trying to stop her.

_ Where is it!? _

There’s hands roving across her body, hands strangling her and she cannot breathe. Is not allowed to. Because the mission comes first. For Konoha. For Konoha. For Konoha. Hands, real hands, grab her face and she stares into a pair of bright, bloody red eyes. 

_ Where is it? _

“Sakura!” She’s vaguely aware she’s no longer staring at the ground, someone is holding her body up. She sees gold. 

Sakura’s face is frozen in fear and shock. An aborted attempt at a scream.

A raspy chuckle rises beside them. 

Chills run down their spines. Naruto leaps away with Sakura while Sasuke leaps in the other direction, letting loose shuriken. 

_ How long had he been beside them? How long had he been watching as they ran, thinking they were actually getting away? _

He is horrified, they were being toyed with. Naruto’s face is still pale, Sakura is still stuck mid-scream. 

“That’s no good. Prey should always be alert.” It rasps out. “That’s disappointing, I expected more from you, Sasuke-kun. Now, what will you do now?” 

Again, he sees them dead before they even manage to move. But it’s not real, not real, not real. They are alive. He’s exhausted, it’s probably a stupid idea but they  _ must _ be closer to the village now. If he casts a fireball, will anyone see? Will anyone investigate? Will it at least distract it to give them enough time to run? He can see it approaching him so he doesn’t think anymore, doesn’t have the time. He just blows a giant fireball in its face. 

“Run!” They can’t proceed forward anymore, running takes them away from the village but staying isn’t an option. He hears its maniac laughter behind them. He can hear the giant snake slithering behind them, the hiss as it tastes the air in front of it. They zig zag between trees, hoping to tangle it or make a creature attack the snake. But they aren’t fast enough. Even with Sasuke carrying Sakura, Naruto falls behind. He is deathly pale, covered in cold sweat. And the snake strikes then, hissing wildly at them. Sasuke jumps backwards, hoping Naruto jumps away as Sakura hangs limply from his arm. He aims his shuriken directly into the snake’s mouth and watches as the snake collapses. 

He turns Sakura over, trying to see if she’s back. And he lets out a harsh breath as recognition lights up in her eyes when her green eyes meet his red. He pants as Sakura scrambles to get out of his hold and stand by herself. When Naruto lands beside him, Sasuke sighs in relief. He grabs hold of Naruto, hoping that he won’t pass out again. 

“We have to go.” He puts an arm under Naruto, they would run together. They’ve veered off course, now they have to take an even longer loop to get to the village. They don’t speak as they loop around to get back to the village. He barely thinks when he does it. He throws Naruto at Sakura and yells at her to run. Sakura is terrified, she’s holding Naruto awkwardly, he’d completely lost consciousness a while ago. The only thing she hears is Sasuke telling her to run. 

She runs.

Sasuke doesn’t look behind him, had heard Naruto being caught by Sakura. Heard the small grunt from her, heard her footsteps get fainter and fainter. Instead he turns to face it. 

“Hmm, now that’s not right, Sasuke-kun. Don’t you know? Prey need to always be on the run.” 

Sasuke channels more chakra into his eyes, tomoe spinning faster. It’s face isn’t even burnt. And against everything his body is screaming at him to do, he charges forward. But every blow he tries to land seems to roll off it and what does land seems to do nothing. 

“Come on, don’t you want to defeat  _ Itachi _ ?”

Sasuke sees red. Was this monster related to Itachi? 

“Who the hell are you!”

Gathering shuriken attached to ninja wire into his hands, he throws them into the bark around them. He can see clearly, where each wire connects to. Then gathering the correct wires into his hands, he allows  _ it  _ to step into place and pulls. He remembers Itachi’s lessons.

_ Direct your chakra down the wire, exhale slowly. If you do it too quickly, it’ll explode in your face. _

He lights the shinobi on fire with a katon. Letting it blow hot and furious till the smell of burnt skin fills the air. He gulps in air greedily when the screams stop. He can still taste the ash on his tongue and he is exhausted. He needs to regroup with Sakura and Naruto, get out. Naruto and Sakura need medical help. He turns around, breathing heavily.

“ _ I  _ am Orochimaru.” He stops.

There are hands on his face, his eyelids are forcefully pulled open. He panics and pulls on the wires harder. How was it reaching him? His vision is filled with its half melted face and it’s too close. The smell of burnt skin assaults his nose.

“Hmm...only at stage two.” It tuts. “Not yet. Then, I’ll leave with you a present, Sasuke-kun.”

Sasuke claws at its face, trying to get away. And it  _ bites _ him. The pain is searing, immediate and his body feels like it’s on fire.

“If you survive this, you will find me. Only I can grant you the power you desire! I look forward to that day Sasuke-kun.”

Sasuke curls up, screaming before he can think better of it. It hurts. It hurts. It  _ hurts. It hurts. It hurts. _ He has to move, can’t die here. He crawls, forward, can barely get himself upright and nearly black outs. He has to move, there’ll be creatures heading here seeing the commotion that they made. His sharingan flickers, unable to keep a steady stream of chakra to his eyes. 

Grabbing kunai and more ninja wire, he knows he will regret this but he needs to move away quickly. He forces chakra into his eyes, holds his aim steady and throws. It lodges into the wood, deep. Then, biting down on a kunai’s handle, he grabs the wire and jumps, swinging to the next tree, trying to stick a proper landing by moulding chakra to his feet. He slips, grabbing onto the ninja wire in panic, he pulls his shoulder, blood wells in his palms. His screams are muffled by the kunai and he knows he has to repeat the process. He has to reach Naruto and Sakura.

**_Three hours till sunrise._ **

For the first time in ten years, Jiraiya willingly steps into the hokage’s office. He knows that they want him here to deal with Orochimaru. He’d heard Kakashi the second time. And as much as he’d spent the better part of the last decade keeping tabs on his old teammates, he can’t quite deprioritise the three children he’d gotten to know over the past weeks. 

“Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura of team seven are missing. They’ve been swapped with corpses in Uchiha Sasuke’s apartment.” 

Nara Shikaku is drowning in decoded reports. Anbu are dropping off more reports around him and he wants a drink. So he’s a little annoyed that Jiraiya smells like he managed to get a drink. But he puts two and two together and gives the order to widen the search to include the three genin _.  _ Then he stares at the sennin who still looked dissatisfied. A sennin who was alone.

“Where is Kakashi?”

“Finding them.” 

Shikaku really needs a drink. His jounin got stolen.

Anko had left the hokage’s office. She knows that it can’t be helped. She doesn’t blame them for taking a second look at her. But it sucks. Just because she was  _ his  _ student. So she decides to make herself useful and search the village. She goes through the places the ‘Grass’ shinobi were seen first. But as place after place comes up short, she can’t help but think, this was futile. Orochimaru had a hand in building many of the underground paths of the village, even if he hadn’t stepped foot in Konoha in years, he knew Konoha. 

It’s entirely by chance that she sees the copy nin. She’d seen the message from Shikaku, knew that he was team seven’s leader. So she doesn’t really think about approaching him. So much blood when Orochimaru was around? Definitely not a coincidence. She drops down beside him, taking in the blood stains. 

“He could have taken them.” She says. She knows Hatake Kakashi knows exactly what she is doing. But she knows he will do it. He jerks his head for her to lead the way. She leads the way to Orochimaru’s old labs. What would Orochimaru do with three genin?

The grate is rusty, welded shut. But it doesn’t stop them from entering. There are too many entrances and they had stop trying to uncover the entirety of the base, preferring to seal the whole place instead after one too many deaths. The air is stale and she looks at the copy-nin who starts sniffing the air before shaking his head. 

She looks down into the corridor, remembers a time when she willingly went down the dark paths. Then remembers realising the true horror of the place. Remembers the children who died. She swallows the bile rising in her throat.

She leads them further into the base. 

**_Three hours to sunrise._ **


	11. Three

Something crashes into her. Her foot gives and she falls to her side. She grabs onto Naruto before he can fall off the branch. Her heart lurches, he’s pale and unconscious again. Not right. Naruto was always, always bright, too loud to be a ninja. Her arms protest as she pulls him up but Naruto is in her arms. Where’s Sasuke? 

“ _Run!_ ” Sasuke’s voice, loud in the quiet night, reverberates in her skull. 

She looks back and there it is again. Golden eyes. Sasuke is in front of it. Sasuke is telling her to run. Why isn’t he running with them? 

She can hear Kakashi’s voice. 

_Those who abandon their friends are worse than scum_.

But what can she do? When it came down to it, her skills did not lie in fighting. She relied on deception, her greatest weapon was getting close to an enemy and striking before they can react. How does that help them here? Against something that was very clearly toying with them. 

_The village is that way_.

Sakura runs. 

_Worse than scum_.

She runs from the boy she liked for years, the boy who opened his home to her and from a monster who is only letting her run for his amusement. The least she could do was deliver Naruto back home right? 

She can’t hear them anymore. Hasn’t heard anything but the creatures of the forest for a while. Then even that stops. They’re being hunted. She can’t see them but there is definitely something around. And this is bad because her arms are full from carrying Naruto, she can’t even reach for her weapons like this. 

She barely sees it but the yellow eyes and paw swiping at her is unmistakable. She turns as she leaps away and a cry leaves her lips as she feels the claws rip at her back. She had to protect Naruto. She can’t have Sasuke’s sacrifice be in vain. She runs as the black beast chases her and she knows that this will not last. She needs to find a place to hide Naruto and, and what? Take down the beast? Before that thing comes for both of them? She would laugh if she could. They were going to die in this stupid forest. Their bodies would be eaten by that beast and they would never be found. 

It’s stupid. But she puts Naruto down. Lets him hang just so, hopes he won’t fall and then she runs towards the beast. Her hands are free now so she grabs the senbon Genma had given her. Paralytics. Non-lethal because she needs a permit for that. She runs up the trunk and she can feel the whoosh of air as the beast swipes up at her before she stabs its eye. Then grabs more senbon and stabs it again because such a big thing needed more and she needs it to go down, sooner rather than later. How quickly would this thing burn through her paralytic. A paw comes at her and she’s almost too late to dodge it. She can feel the blood on her, running down her foot. Quickly, because who knows when she’ll have another chance, she drags her kunai down its body. Hoping that her kunai is sharp enough, its skin thin enough that it can penetrate. 

She doubles back for Naruto and it’s hard to keep her balance as she can no longer control her right foot. She’s relieved to see that nothing has come for him while she had gone to pull off a stupid stunt. She picks him up again, one handed this time and still the beast chases them. She’s beginning to think that she either didn’t have enough paralytic or Genma lied to her when the thing crashes. She’s almost blown away from the wind of it hitting a trunk and barely manages to hold onto a branch one handed. It falls to the floor and she can already see other creatures coming after it. 

She lets herself fall to the branch below her as she can hear the panicked whines coming from the creature as it is eaten alive. She’d done it. 

“Well done, little seduction agent.” She stops short. She can hear the creatures below fleeing, can see another of those giant snakes swallowing the beast whole. She looks up and there is Sasuke. He’s limp. And she can see blood dripping from his hands. Was he still alive?

He appears in front her, faster than her eyes can track. She can feel his hands, his tongue on her again and she freezes up. 

“You dropped a little something earlier.” He holds up a necklace. “Were you looking for this? You should take better care of your things. ” He hangs it around her neck. And that small whiff of lavender clears her head. She hangs her head, trying to make herself seem smaller. She can feel his hand on her neck, can see Sasuke, unmoving. Sakura’s greatest weapon was deception, getting in close enough to deal the final blow. She was close now so she kicks it between the legs, pivoting on her left foot. She screams from the impact on her foot and brings up her arm, kunai in hand. She stabs him in the throat. And she can feel rotten, burnt flesh under her as she lands on top of him and continues to stab. 

_Always double check your kills_.

It’s a mangled burnt mess under her and she wants to puke again but there is nothing left in her. She leans back and shuffles off him. There are tears in her eyes and it blurs her vision so she wipes them away with her arm. Then, she realises she still has Naruto in her arm, Sasuke is still in that thing’s arm. She pulls them away, tears falling freely now. It was dead. 

She pulls them to her, checks that Naruto is still breathing and then Sasuke. His is shallower, and he was burning up, a fever. But they’re alive. 

_The village is that way_.

She remembers his words. She knows what she has to do. But her vision is a blur and she’s never felt so alone before. She has to stop crying, has to get up, carry them, go to Konoha. She gingerly puts pressure onto her foot and nearly falls as the pain threatens to make her pass out. She sits there, her team beside her and just _is_ for a moment. She exhales slowly, closes her eyes and forces herself up. She opens her eyes to see the corpse twitching. She stares in horror as the mouth is torn open and _something_ slithers out. 

She can barely feel herself but she reaches down, trying to grab Naruto and Sasuke and run. She isn’t fast enough. The hand that clamps down on her neck throws her against the trunk of the tree and she can’t breathe. It chuckles. 

“I would give you a gift too if you weren’t the only one left awake.” 

Sakura claws at its hand, trying to make it let her go but it caresses her face. She can feel its nails trailing across her skin. 

“Such pretty eyes.” She pushes its head away as its tongue licks her again, trying to dig her nails into its eyes, do something, anything. She can see its palm, feel the fingers on her face, near her left eye, the nails at her upper eyelid, pushing it up. 

“Get away from Sakura-chan!” 

She feels nails rake across her face in a downward arc. She can’t help but cry out from the pain and she can’t see. She’s awake, the pain is too real, she can smell the lavender from her necklace, the stench of blood and fear and sweat but she can’t see. 

**_Two hours till sunrise._ **

Hatake Kakashi knows what this is. Had helped to uncover parts of it. Had seen the horror. But he hadn’t lived through it like Anko. He knows her story, who doesn’t? Star pupil of Orochimaru. Teammates came back in a bag. Survived his experiments. 

The air is stale and he’s starting to think that this is a fruitless venture. No one has been here for the better part of a decade. They’ve gone through corridor after corridor, room after room of nothing. Then he smells it. Faint, but definitely there. He stops, signals for Anko to stop too. Sakura’s scent is stronger than the other two and he can almost taste the metallic tang of blood. She was injured. 

But this was wrong, their scent stopped at a wall. He shares a look with her then uses a doton to break the wall. The air on the other side is not fresh but not stale. There were people here, the scent is old. Older than his team’s. The lab was still being used. The horrors had not stopped even after they sealed up the place.

They continue to follow team seven’s scent till it leads them up, up into a nest of snakes. He’s thankful Anko is here as it makes getting through them easier. When they finally exit from the nest and can observe their surroundings. They are in the forest of death. Kakashi’s heart sinks, he doesn’t doubt his genin can survive the forest but this place in addition to Orochimaru? It’s not a thought he wants to entertain. 

The two ninjas leap through the trees, following the trail of blood.

\---

Two hours into the very real possibility that Orochimaru had infiltrated the village, bodies turn up. 

The shinobi who were present a decade ago shudder, had the horror never stopped?

**_Two hours till sunrise._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kept thinking ??? to myself as I wrote this but there's no way Team 7 gets out of this without wounds. I'm at the point where I'm wondering how I got from "let's write about a seduction division" to...this
> 
> There's now over 1000 hits and 100 kudos on this thing and like thank you!????<3


	12. Two

Naruto isn’t quite sure where this burst of strength is coming from. But he’s grateful for it. Because he was able to pull that thing away from Sakura. He’s able to stop the snake that curls up the tree and comes for him. But Sakura is screaming and when he turns to her, red fills his vision. Because blood seeps from the wounds running down her face and she’s fumbling around like a newborn. Her hands are in front of her face, not daring to touch her skin and her wails break his heart. When he turns back to the thing, he sees Sakura’s blood on its hand and that only serves to fuel his anger. 

He launches himself at it in fury. He would take down that thing. Take Sakura and Sasuke out of this place and they will live. Naruto notes with glee that the thing burns from the orange chakra coating him. He resolves to surround it with as much of the orange chakra as possible. So he claws at it, trying his utmost to damage it in any way possible. He gets up even as he’s thrown into trees, comes back faster, stronger, more lethal. 

“You’re in the way!” It hisses at him. Then throws him even further away. He’s disorientated but the branches which broke his fall mark a clear path to where he was from so he doubles back. 

When the snake tries to eat him, succeeds because he is a moment too slow to dodge, he burns it from the inside, ripping his way out of snake guts. And the sight that greets him is it whispering into Sakura’s ear as she screams and cries and tries to run away, hysterical. But he’s pulling onto her hair, yanking her closer even as she tries to kick away. Naruto cannot cut through the snake’s skin fast enough, cannot crawl out from its squishy guts fast enough, cannot reach for her fast enough. 

When he finally crawls out, he slips on the snake’s guts. When she finally gets away, because she’s pulled so hard, it’s hand pulled out her hair, she falls. And as she freefalls, unable to see, she is unable to right herself to stick a landing. She flails in the air and her next sensation is fire. Her body burns from something holding her and she screams as she tries to run away from the burning. 

“ _ Sakura-chan _ !” Then she realises, the burning is Naruto. Why would Naruto hurt her? But the burning stops when he puts her down. Naruto is about to go back, ready to fight the thing again. But it’s nowhere to be found. Team seven is alone. 

Or are they?

Naruto looks behind him. As if he’ll see golden eyes in the dark again. 

“N-Naruto.” Sakura, still on the ground, reaches for him. “Naruto. Where’s Sasuke? What’s happening?” 

He steps back, he’ll burn her again. He can see her skin is red, rising in some spots. 

“Naruto?” Her voice is small, scared. Her hands wave around as she crawls forward, slowly, testing the area in front of her. 

“I-I’m here. I can’t see  _ it _ anywhere. Sasuke is up there.” Lying motionless on a branch, where she was before falling. Then he realises Sakura still can’t see. “He’s on the branch above us.” 

“We have to go. Do you know where the village is?”

“No.” Because he was only following them when he was awake long enough to walk on his own. Hadn’t questioned where they were running to. 

“You need to carry us.” Sakura starts. And he stops her from saying anything more.

“No! I’ll hurt you again!” He backs away, to the trunk as she crawls towards him.

“ _ You need to carry us _ .” She repeats. “Go up the trees and find the village. Sasuke needs a medic.” 

“ _ No! I don’t want to hurt you two! _ ” 

“We can’t stay here! Listen to me Naruto.” She grabs onto him, reaching upwards. And he is frozen, unmoving as he sees the chakra burn her skin again. He wonders if he’ll ever see her beautiful green eyes again as her face comes in view, still marred and bloody. “I can’t see. I can’t-” She chokes. “I  _ can’t _ . You have to carry us or we’ll die. Put me on your back. Carry Sasuke and go to the village.  _ Please _ .” 

Tears leak from his eyes and Sakura can feel them but she doesn’t say anything. He nods, then realising she can’t see.

“Okay.”

**_One hour to sunrise._ **

The trail is easy to see. Blood marks the way. Broken foliage reveals a path. 

Then, Orochimaru appears. 

They are quick to react. Anko uses her snakes to bind him and Kakashi runs forward with chidori but ‘Orochimaru’ melts as he pierces through him. 

“What are you fighting?”

Kakashi turns around, Orochimaru smells of burnt skin but as he tears off the mask he smells his team. Orochimaru smirks and activates Anko’s seal causing her to collapse. Kakashi engages with him as he approaches Anko. But Orochimaru is toying with him, able to carry on a conversation despite fighting. 

“We haven’t seen each other in such a long time and you’re treating me so coldly, Anko.” 

She spits at the ground. “Why are you here? What have you done with them?”

“So many questions.” He tuts, then hurls the copy-nin’s head into a trunk. “I gave one of them a present. One just like yours. There’s someone I want, you see.” He lets go of Kakashi who slumps to the ground. 

“His body is beautiful, a suitable vessel for me.” He caresses her face and she tries to suppress a shudder. “Unlike you, he’s exceptionally talented.” 

“Where are they!?” Kakashi brings down his kunai. Orochimaru easily sidesteps and kicks him away.

“I’ve left them at the end of the trail. Do take care of them for me, Anko.” Then, turning to her.

“Whatever you do, don’t cancel the exam. I have three from my village in this exam. I’m looking forward to seeing how this plays out.” He disappears as Kakashi’s chidori hits air. “If you interfere with my fun, it will spell the end for Konoha.” 

Kakashi kneels, exhausted.  _ His team is alive _ . He forces himself to stand and puts Anko’s arm around his neck. They may both be tired but they hadn’t sustained any major injuries. They continue down the path.

To his genin.

**_One hour to sunrise._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost out of the forest :D   
> The injury tally is terrible and my notes for this fic get ever longer


	13. One

They are burning. 

Naruto had taken off his jacket to cover Sakura’s arms but he can tell she’s still burning. She hasn’t spoken in a while. Sasuke is unresponsive. He hopes they are reaching the village soon and then the two of them can get the help they need. Tears leak from his eyes and really, he shouldn’t be crying. It’s not like _he_ was injured. 

And Sakura speaks for the first time since he started carrying them. She pats his head, whispers gentle nothings, tells him it's okay, he’s doing the right thing. Says that Sasuke would agree with her, thanks him, _apologises_. Because Sakura knows, from countless late night talks, just how much team seven meant to him. Knows what she was asking of Naruto was unfair, against everything Naruto stood for because he would sooner hurt himself than his friends. So she whispers reassurances in his ear because she can’t carry Sasuke for him, can’t navigate out of this forest blind, didn’t run away with them fast enough, couldn’t move, should have stabbed it again, can see it coming out of a corpse for her again. She doesn’t scream.

“Sakura-chan, I can see the village.” He climbs higher up the branches, then leaps off past the fence. They’re at the village, he can put them down now right? He can stop hurting them now right? 

“Sakura-chan? Hey? We’re out of the forest.” He puts Sasuke down. They were out of danger now, right? “Sakura-chan? Say something, _please_.” He kneels beside Sasuke. 

“ _Please let go_.”

He feels her weight lifted off his back, wood curls around her arms, pulling them over his head because they were locked tight around him. He can feel the wood pushing him down, flat against the dirt. He can see the anbu surrounding them. He cries and because Sakura and Sasuke taught him manners.

“Thank you.”

**_Sunrise._ **

The trail leads them right back out of the forest. 

Hatake Kakashi is covered in the blood of the forest’s creatures. Exhausted, held back by the creatures in the way of their path, he finds his genin surrounded by anbu.

Naruto is held down by tenzou’s mokuton, covered in the kyubi’s chakra, crying. Sakura is burned and bloody. Sasuke has the cursed seal and his arms hang loose, dislocated.

But they are alive. 

There are no boxes or names to carve.

His genin are _alive_. 

\---

Team seven lies in the same hospital room.

Naruto had refused to let them leave his sight but refused to touch them either. He’d been silent after that. Sitting as far away from the two as possible but not letting them leave his sight. 

Sarutobi Hiruzen has always had a soft spot for Naruto, were it up to him, he’d let the boy rest. But he is hokage before that and he did not lead his people through wars by being soft. Jiraiya and Kakashi protest but he brushes them off, seals off his heart. He meets Naruto’s dead eyes and asks, “What happened?”

Naruto does not respond. 

“Naruto, what happened?” He repeats.

Naruto stares back, as if vaguely recognising the man in front of him. “Ji-chan... I hurt them.” He confesses. 

“Naruto, I need you to tell me what happened. From start to finish.” 

Naruto stares at him, not understanding. What happened? They got chased by a monster. Sakura is probably blind. He doesn’t know what happened to Sasuke. And he hurt them. 

“I hurt them.” He looks away, unable to meet his eyes.

“Naruto, I’m asking you as your hokage. What happened in that forest?” Hiruzen’s voice turns hard. 

Naruto has never heard him like this before and he doesn’t understand. What does he mean by ‘as your hokage’? Wasn’t ji-chan just ji-chan? His confusion must show on his face because Kakashi bends to look at him. 

“Naruto, we need you to tell us what happened in the forest. Everything that happened. Like the mission report we did in Wave. Okay? We need to know what happened.” He looks at Jiraiya who nods, although his mouth is pressed into a hard line, clearly unhappy. 

_Like the mission report we did in Wave._ Kakashi had said. He could do that. It had been hard but he’d done it.

“There was a monster,” he begins and he wants to scoff because wasn’t that him? And he recounts what happened. How he just kept passing out and when he finally woke up, he hurt them. He shuffles closer to the wall when Kakashi tries to pat him, fear in his eyes. Kakashi’s hand hangs awkwardly in the air. 

“You should get some rest, Naruto.” Jiraiya puts a hand on Kakashi’s shoulder, shaking his head.

Jiraiya chases them out of the room. His godson had enough, the questions could wait. He sits outside the room with Kakashi, both not willing to leave yet knowing they weren’t welcome in the room. Naruto had panicked when they’d entered, had angled himself so he could still see Sakura and Sasuke when they crowded around him, refused to let them near him. He sighed, long and weary. They were too young. 

“They’re alive.” Kakashi says, slumped in a chair, exhaustion rapidly catching up to him. Jiraiya eyes him. Minato’s voice echoes in his head.

_Kakashi came back. Where is his sanity?_

“They are.” He agrees. 

They force him to eat eventually. Force him to change, shower, do _something_ other than stare at his team. 

On the third day, Jiraiya wrestles Naruto away. He kicks and screams and cries but Jiraiya doesn’t let him go. He holds him tight because there is something to hold, lets Naruto kick him and when Naruto sobs into his arms, exhausted, he pats his head and tells him a story.

On the fifth day, Sasuke wakes. The room is bright. He can’t move his arms. But Sakura is in front of him. She’s unconscious, wrapped in bandages but he can clearly see her pink hair splayed out, the beeping of the monitor constant. Where is Naruto? He struggles to sit up, leave the bed but he makes it to her bedside eventually. He can’t see below the blanket but her arms are bandaged and her face…

When had that happened? 

“You should be in bed.” Kakashi’s voice startles him out of studying Sakura’s wounds. 

“Where were you?” 

Kakashi flinches. 

Anger tints Sasuke’s voice because they were in Konoha, they should be safe. He hasn’t felt safe ever since Itachi killed everyone but Itachi had been a trustworthy Konoha shinobi up till then. A surprise. This was different, a foreign nin had infiltrated Konoha and taken them right under its nose. Why had no one stopped it? 

He sits in the chair beside Sakura’s bed, refuses to look at Kakashi again and waits for her to wake up. 

A week after team seven returns from the forest of death, Sakura wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting to wonder whether hearing about the thought process behind the characters not from Naruto's generation is interesting to yall lol.  
> We're finally out of the forest. Anyone need an injury tally?


	14. Zero

Haruno Sakura wakes up quietly. The night is quiet and the moonlight shines through. She’s aware that she’s not alone but acknowledging that means acknowledging everything else. But when she turns her head and meets Sasuke’s red eyes,  _ his _ voice rings.

_ I gave Sasuke-kun a present. He will find me for power. I look forward to that day, so do take care of him for me, seduction agent _ .

Her arms ache but she reaches out. Sasuke takes her hand and for a moment, she feels like she could pretend things were normal again. Like the night they traded stories about their families. But the moment doesn’t last. 

“Sakura.” 

_ Those who abandon their friends are worse than scum _ .

She’d abandoned Sasuke. Her grip on Sasuke’s hand tightens and he moves closer to her, blocking Kakashi. He doesn’t let go, just stares down at Kakashi. 

Kakashi sighs, shaking his head. “I’m glad you’re awake. This is sudden but the hokage needs your report on what happened. Naruto and Sasuke already gave theirs.”

She blinks, then lightly tugs on Sasuke’s hand. His response is immediate and he helps to prop her up against the wall. 

“Close to midnight, a gas paralytic was released into Sasuke’s apartment. Before I fell asleep, I saw four shinobi. The next time I woke up, we were underground, in what looked like a lab. I was injected with a paralytic when I struggled. There were two shinobi, one of them called the other ‘Kabuto’. He had grey hair and wore black glasses.” She pauses, feels the phantom scales on her skin as they were dragged through the snake pit. “The other one chased us through the forest. We tried to run away when Naruto and Sasuke woke up. Sasuke-” She chokes. 

_ Those who abandon their friends are worse than scum _ . 

“Sasuke stayed behind to give me and Naruto time to run away. Then  _ he _ showed up holding him and he wouldn’t die and he said he left Sasuke a present. Then Naruto woke up and he had that orange chakra around him again. And he got us out, I guess. Naruto saved us.” She finishes in a breath. She leans back, not meeting Kakashi’s eyes.

“Leave.” Sasuke orders. Kakashi does. 

They sit in silence for a while. Both not knowing what to say after chasing away their teacher.

“You were awake.” Sasuke starts. 

“Poison training with Genma. Makes it harder to knock me out. Naruto?” She smiles wearily at him and pulls him closer. Sasuke takes a seat beside her.

“The idiot went to train with Jiraiya.” He scoffs, doesn’t add that Naruto now had an aversion to being touched. 

“And you aren’t going to train?”

“Couldn’t leave you alone.” Because Naruto had cried at a distance, saying he thought he died. And Sasuke knows what waking up to nothing felt like. The least he could do was show Sakura he was alive. 

“They hit the vase.” She says, abruptly. 

“It’s fine.”

“But-”

“It’s  _ fine _ . We can get another one. Actually we should just move. The toilet is too small for the three of us. And bloodstains are a pain to get rid of.” He tilts his head to look at her, “You can get more bookshelves.” 

“Okay.” Her voice is light, quiet.

_ I gave Sasuke-kun a present.  _

“Sasuke?”

“What?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Huh?” Sasuke’s head snaps to her, eyes red.

“I left you behind. I just- I just ran away with Naruto. I left you with that, that  _ thing _ . I’m so s-”

“I told you to run.” Sasuke cuts her off. “Naruto had already fainted at that point and you-” He sucks in a breath, remembering the way Sakura’s foot had rolled everytime they leaped from branch to branch. She was in no state to run, much less fight. It was the logical decision. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He turns his head, ending the conversation. He would not hear any apologies she’d like to offer. 

Sakura gives up on apologising to the stubborn boy. Even Naruto couldn’t get him to speak once he got like that.

_ I gave Sasuke-kun a present. _

“What did he do to you? Who was he?” She had to know.

“A missing-nin. Orochimaru of the sannin.” Sasuke pulls down the cloth at his neck, revealing a three tomoe mark with a ring around it. “They said it was a cursed seal. Jiraiya sealed it. You?” 

“There was this big...cat thing. He- Orochimaru caught up to us after that. You were hanging there and I couldn’t move.” She reaches up and feels for the necklace around her neck. “He had it. I managed to stab him, I thought I killed him but he just- he came out of a corpse, Sasuke. I couldn’t grab you two and run away fast enough. He said-” Her grip tightens around Sasuke’s hand. “He said he wanted to give me a present too but I was the only one left awake. I think he wanted to take one of my eyes but Naruto woke up.” 

_ At least I can see out of one eye _ , she thinks. 

Sasuke doesn’t speak, his grip is tight and his eyes are still red. Naruto had spoken about it to her once, told her not to be surprised or react whenever he activated his sharingan. So Sakura hadn’t brought it up, doesn’t mention how Sasuke did it more whenever she came back after her seduction missions. 

“I miss him.” She says after a while.

“Me too.” He doesn’t add that Naruto was effectively avoiding them right now. “You can rest, Sakura. I’m awake now.” 

“Okay.” She leans further back into the pillow, not letting go of his hand. 

Sasuke stares at Sakura’s bandaged face. __

_ I think he wanted to take one of my eyes _ . 

Orochimaru would pay for this. 

Being blind in one eye would limit Sakura’s vision and she’d have to adjust her fighting style to accommodate for this new handicap. He’d seen under the bandages when the nurse changed them, the wound would scar. Lines dragging down her left eye and ending near her mouth. She’d mentioned before that high ranking nobles sometimes learnt just enough about chakra to detect when a genjutsu or henge was being used when he’d asked about why she needed to learn about traditional disguises. Scars would make her more vulnerable whenever she did  _ those  _ missions. Would her temporary teams even protect her? And people would talk. Facial scars were too obvious to miss and Sakura had always cared about what people said. It’s why she forced them to learn how to cook so that they wouldn’t have to eat out when she wasn’t around. 

At least, Sasuke thinks, maybe Sakura wouldn’t have to go on seduction missions anymore. Which would suit them just fine, he’d moved out of the Uchiha compound but maybe they could reopen it. There would be more than enough space there for the three of them. Sakura could have as much space as she wanted for her books and cooking pots. Naruto could have a whole greenhouse if he wanted. Maybe they could make a giant doghouse. No one ever went into the district so they’d be free from the whispers. 

An anbu’s body dropped on the floor. 

Sasuke jolts from his reverie.

_ There were two shinobi, one of them called the other ‘Kabuto’. He had grey hair and wore black glasses. _

Yakushi Kabuto kills eight anbu in a matter of seconds and Sasuke knows he is severely outclassed. They don’t even have their weapons. He lurches forward, around Sakura to try to take a defensive stance in front of her. The pull on her hand jolts her awake and her eyes are alert immediately, she opens her mouth to scream for help when she recognises the shinobi in front of them and sees the dead anbu in the room. But she is not fast enough, Kabuto pushes his palm over her mouth, muting her. His other hand goes around Sasuke’s neck, body weight pressing him into the bed to keep him from moving. Tears well up in Sakura’s eyes as her skin, still healing from the chakra burns, tear open again. 

“Shh...” Kabuto whispers. Sasuke stops struggling when he smells blood under him. Sakura’s bandages turning the blanket red. It’s silent as Sakura’s hands struggle uselessly at the palm pinning her to the bed. But Kabuto is unaffected, barely sparing her a glance, if only to show his annoyance at her struggle. Medical chakra coats his hand, healing him even as Sakura struggles uselessly. He actually looks to be deep in thought, as if contemplating what to do with them. 

“...Poor thing, I’ll end your suffering.” Kabuto mumbles, lowering his hand to Sakura’s throat and squeezing. Her voice comes out as a wheeze and she desperately pushes away, claws at the hand around her throat. She can feel a phantom weight on top of her. Her hands bleed freely but the hand around her throat clenches tighter. 

Sasuke kicks at Kabuto, pulling at the hand around his neck even as his own arms protest, trying to get him away from Sakura. And Sakura’s eyes roll back as her body goes limp, bloody hands losing strength and dropping. 

“Sakura!” Sasuke’s eyes burn and the world turns sharper. And the image of Sakura being strangled to death sears itself into his brain. 

It’s a horrifying sight and Kakashi moves more on instinct than anything else. Eight corpses litter the room and it looks like his students would soon add to that number, with Sakura being first. He is almost savage as he launches himself at the enemy, kunai out. Wrestling Kabuto away from them to the other side of the room. Sasuke doesn’t spare any time in catching Sakura as her body falls forward. 

“Who do you work for?” Kakashi grits out, slamming Kabuto’s head into the floor. But ‘Kabuto’ is cold, too cold to be alive. Kakashi’s head snaps back as two anbu corpses get up and pull at Sasuke. A Sasuke who was still cradling Sakura, blood dripping out of his eyes, three tomoe spinning wildly. 

They’re halfway out of the window, Sasuke’s arms outstretched as he cries for Sakura. Kakashi grabs Sasuke, yanking him towards him, feels his shoulder give out as it dislocates again. One of the corpses falls limp, half hanging out of the window as the other leaps out, unmasking itself as it smirks at Kakashi. 

He can hear Kabuto fall into the leaves. The anbu corpse falls splat onto the ground below after swaying on the window edge. 

Hatake Kakashi holds a hysterical Sasuke in his arms. He sees pink in his periphery. Sasuke’s voice echoes in his head. 

_ Where were you? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you think it was the end just because the sun rose?


	15. Mend

One month ago, Shikamaru received a wake up call.

Two weeks ago, he attended team seven’s housewarming party.

Today, he visits team seven in the hospital. 

The security is ridiculous and he thinks he really shouldn’t be here. How many times does a bento need to be checked? When he sees Taichi, he wonders if he should run away. Maybe he should have run away when Ino came to find him after ignoring him for weeks when he refused to take the chunin exams without explaining why and stopped helping her with Sakura. 

They’ve pushed their beds together, Naruto is on the left, asleep while the rest of them play hanafuda. Shikamaru doesn’t miss how close Sasuke is sitting next to Sakura or how he’s angled himself to block her from the door. He shifts uncomfortably at the doorway. 

“Hello, Shikamaru, Chouji, who’s your friend?” Taichi gets up, placing himself in front of Sasuke and Sakura.

“I’m Yamanaka Ino! Nice to meet you!” Ino’s cheek reddens. Sakura’s head peeks out from behind Sasuke and Taichi.

“Hello.” She says so softly, Shikamaru has to strain to hear her. 

“I brought bentos from my mom. Special Akimichi bentos!” Chouji holds out a bag full of bentos.

“Well, it’s about time for lunch. It’ll be a nice break from hospital food. Thank you, Chouji.” Michiru pats his head before dragging a table and chairs in front of the beds. It’s an awkward meal. No one speaks while Naruto’s quiet breathing fills the background. Michiru is the one who chases them out of the room, leaving Sakura and Ino inside with a sleeping Naruto. As Shikamaru observes the familiar way Sasuke interacts with the two seduction agents, he realises that Sasuke knows. And of course he does, Sakura moving in should have set off alarm bells. 

They’ve seated themselves outside the room, Michiru and Taichi effectively acting as guards. Chouji, easy going as always hadn’t protested, merely taking out snacks to share. It’s ten minutes before Shikamaru pulls Sasuke aside.

“I have an idea.” He starts, gulping at Sasuke’s stare. “To get Sakura out!” He quickly adds when Sasuke looks like he’s going to turn around. 

“Out?”

“I did some digging. Clan laws allow shinobi to decide their career path. I’m heir to the Nara, I’ll adopt her into the clan. I’ll prepare everything so she doesn’t have to see me! She’ll only need to sign off on the papers.” 

“Yeah right. Bet you got that idea from Chouza-sensei.” Genma steps out from the darkness of the corridor and Shikamaru wonders how he’d managed to stay undetected when his senbon was glinting, essentially a beacon in the darkness. 

“Genma.” Sasuke greets.

“Hey kid.” Genma greets then, turning to look at Shikamaru, eyeing him for a moment. “Clan laws would be enough if Sakura wasn’t already in the system.” 

Genma remembers Chouza kicking up a fuss, talking about upending the food supply in Konoha. The elders had fallen over themselves to get Genma out or face a food shortage just after a war. Sasuke would have had that same leverage if there were more Uchiha left. 

He sighs, then heads to the hospital room for team seven. Sasuke and Shikamaru follow him. There’s slight laughter coming from the room. Sakura and Ino’s eyes are slightly red but the mood was considerably better. Genma doesn’t pause, reaching to pat Sakura’s head.

“Heard that you put those needles to good use. We’ll make more when you’re up for it. For now, I got you some anmitsu.” 

\---

Team seven stays in the hospital for a little over two weeks. 

Naruto had freaked out when he awoke after chakra exhaustion, screaming and falling off the bed in a bid to put some distance between himself and his team that the anbu guarding them had swarmed the room. Jiraiya had stepped in, dismissing the anbu and calming Naruto down. And eventually, Naruto sat on the bed beside them, holding onto Jiraiya like he was a lifeline. He was especially jittery around Sakura who was still bandaged from head to toe. 

Sakura is the one who breaks the silence. 

“I’m sorry, Naruto.” 

“I should be the one saying sorry, I hurt you and Sasuke.” Naruto whispers. 

“No, you saved us.” She turns to face him, shuffling slightly closer. She stops when Naruto starts backing away “If you hadn’t woken up at that moment, Orochimaru would have taken my eye. You would probably have had to carry us even if I could see anyway, my ankle was so broken I couldn't move properly. So, you saved us.” Sakura carefully pulls Naruto into her arms, his tears soaking into the bandages around her neck. “Thank you, Naruto. Thank you for being there. I’m so sorry you had to do that.” 

Naruto’s arms hang limply at her side as he sobs into her shoulder but Sasuke moves closer, a hug is beyond him but he holds onto Naruto’s hand firmly. 

“Sakura’s right.” Sasuke says.

“I- I’m sorry.” Naruto repeats.

“We know. Thank you, Naruto.” Sakura whispers, patting his hair. 

“I have a monster inside me.”

“Who cares.” Sasuke hmphs as Sakura pulls him into the hug as well. 

“The orange chakra belongs to him. I made him pay me rent.” 

“Rent?”

“Yeah, he’s made of chakra so I made him give me chakra.” 

“Good job.” 

\---

There’s way too many people in the house.

The paperwork had been easy, Sasuke owned everything Uchiha related as the patriarch. They only needed to submit the forms informing the state of their change in residence. Sakura’s parents hadn’t wanted her to move, the compromise they’d eventually come to were family dinners. Naruto’s lease on his own apartment had finished while they were recovering in the hospital. 

Moving wasn’t hard. Naruto and Sakura had been in the process of moving into the apartment so some of their things were still in Jiraiya’s storage scrolls. The apartment had been cleaned of blood before any of them set foot in it but no one had wanted to linger. They’d packed haphazardly, bullying Jiraiya out of all his storage scrolls and then some to only make one trip. 

The Uchiha district was a quiet part of Konoha. Five years was long but not long enough to erase the fact that a whole clan died. Many of the shops had been run by Uchiha and the few that weren’t had moved elsewhere after the massacre. The district was quiet but the compound where the bulk of the Uchiha lived in itself was deathly silent. 

Sasuke had been pointing out what the shops used to be but had fallen silent as they entered the compound. 

“My house.” Five years and it had fallen into disarray. Sakura isn’t quite sure what to do so she bows in respect instead. Naruto quickly copies her.

Sasuke led them to an empty house in the district eventually, one with a yard, tucked away in a corner. Empty because its owners had moved out just before the massacre. One of the few places where Uchiha blood hadn’t been spilled. Dust fell even as he opened the front door. 

Their usually late teacher was the first to arrive. They set about fixing the house first. Replacing any rotten wood and cracks formed over the years. At some point, he runs away and shows up with a familiar anbu and Jiraiya. Then Sakura’s friends showed up. They clean the house till it shines while Sakura and Taichi set up the kitchen. Genma shows up and decides Sakura needs a lab for poison making. They bully the anbu into making them another room. Ino drags her whole team along. They get into decorating and unpacking the whole place. 

The storage scrolls were a mess, packed in no particular order. So they spread everything out on the tatami, sorting the items carefully. Kakashi shows up again, bearing Sasuke’s vase, repaired through kintsugi. Sakura fills them with lavender flowers. 

By the end of the week, Sakura has her bookshelves up, kitchens well stocked. Naruto has a whole display cabinet for all the knicknacks and the yard is his for all the plants he owns. Sasuke’s gotten all sorts of vases and more out of his clan’s storage scrolls. It’s a home. They clean up the clan’s personal training grounds, buy extra blankets for guests. 

The nights are quiet and team seven rests under the watchful gaze of anbu. They each have their own rooms but they still gather at night. Habits die hard. They train in the compound where Kakashi faithfully visits everyday. Naruto never wakes peacefully, jumping fully alert, as if expecting to be met with his team injured. Sakura wakes in the middle of the night, silent but shivering in fear. She’s always awake first, always ready with breakfast. Sasuke always joins her as she cooks. 

It’s not much but it’s something. It’s a kind of normal Sakura can get behind. 

Then one night, Sasuke opens up about Itachi. For the first time in five years, he tells them about the man who he called nii-san, the man who carried him home after school, the man who was hailed as a genius, who never had enough time. He speaks about Uchiha Itachi as a brother, not as a goal. Then he talks about his clan, the kind couple who always gave him extra senbei, about shisui who was always around his brother, his aunt and uncle who lived a street away. He says he never maintained the Naka shrine, doesn’t know how to. He never got to learn what the rites were.

Sakura offers to go through the Uchiha library, reads up on the Uchiha rites. Naruto recognises the plants described in the book and plants them in the yard. They clean and repair the district, bit by bit, between training. Then, rising early one day, team seven goes to the Naka shrine. 

Sasuke carves the names of the Uchiha who fell that night five years ago. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kintsugi - The japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. 
> 
> Needed to put in some Team 10...somehow...  
> Also, Naruto is a really unimportant main character??? (At least in this first part) I've removed him from multiple important scenes and the end result literally barely changes???  
> Guess where’s Iruka lol


	16. Break

_ You’re annoying! Don’t come here just because you can’t sleep! _

...

_ Wouldn’t you like to know what your friends are hiding? _

_... _

_ You humans have too many rituals, what a pain _ .

“Shut up! This is important to Sasuke!”

“Naruto?” 

_ You’ve been at this for two days. _

“Sakura-chan!” 

“Who were you speaking to?” She says, handing him a bento.

“Oh...that, uh.” Naruto takes the bento from her. “...The kyubi.”

Sakura takes a seat beside him, opening her own bento. “Hmm, does that mean he’s listening right now?” 

“Ah...yeah.” 

“Then, thank you for saving us in the forest, kyubi-sama.” 

_ Hmph! Your friend is weird _ .

“Hey! How can you call Sakura-chan weird! Sakura-chan! Don’t thank someone like him!”

“It’s fine.” She knows they wouldn’t have escaped without the kyubi. Naruto wouldn’t have woken up at that moment without the kyubi’s regenerative powers, and would likely have died from blood loss at the time. She picks up her chopsticks. 

“Sakura-chan isn’t weird.” Naruto mutters, opening the bento.

\---

A shadow falls over Shikamaru. He opens his eyes to see Uchiha Sasuke carrying groceries.

Shikamaru sits up, knowing he won’t be cloud gazing anymore. He lets out a sigh, he should have seen this coming.

“What did you do to Sakura?”

Shikamaru stares at the grass under him, not wanting, not knowing how to answer. Sasuke steps in front of him, crouching down.

“Answer. I have to get back soon.” Sasuke scowls at him.

“...I found her in the intelligence building. Underground. She thought I had been recruited so she...she tried to explain everything to me I guess. Then she freaked out when I told her I wasn’t supposed to be there.” He doesn’t dare to meet Sasuke’s eyes.

“And Taichi?”

Shikamaru’s head snaps up at Taichi’s name.

“Taichi’s a good actor but you suck at hiding that you’re afraid of him.” Sasuke smirks.

“He chased me away when he found Sakura freaking out.” Shikamaru grudgingly gives out. He doesn’t mention how he’d been threatened in his own home. How he’d likely only gotten threatened at the compound’s gates because of his father. He’d gotten off lightly.

_ I’m the jounin commander. Unless you’re telling me you’re under the hokage’s orders, you  _ can  _ tell me _ .

_ We’re protected by clan laws _ .

_ Clan laws would be enough if Sakura wasn’t already in the system _ .

_ I was recruited in the Academy _ .

Shikamaru looks up.

_ I was recruited in the Academy _ .

He meets Sasuke’s eyes for the first time.

_ I was recruited in the Academy _ .

“I think we can get Sakura out.”

\---

Sakura nearly drops the laundry. 

How did Sasuke go out for groceries then come back with a human? With Nara Shikamaru. With a ‘We have a plan to get you out of the seduction division’. What? 

She’s thankful Naruto is out watering his plants because she doesn’t think she can handle it if he knew. Sasuke carefully sets a cup of lavender tea in front of her. Watching her with his sharingan again. She’s almost hopeful for a moment but logic sets in and she shakes her head.

“Why?”

“We  _ can _ get recruited in the Academy. It’s rare but it does happen. It doesn’t apply just for the seduction division, anbu scout for talent a lot.” She takes a sip of the tea. “It’s not about getting adopted into a clan or getting a noble clan to speak for you.” She glances at Sasuke, putting down the tea.

“You probably didn’t hear the full story. Genma getting out of the seduction division was basically a miracle. Most hidden villages have a clan specialising in poison, the closest Konoha has are the Aburame who specialise in  _ insects _ , very few of their poisons can be used by anyone outside the clan. Genma’s one of the few, if only, poison specialists in Konoha right now. Akimichi-sama threatened Konoha’s food supply right after a  _ war _ .” She finishes her tea, taking the cup and heading to the sink. 

“So we can’t do anything? We’re just supposed to sit here and watch you just-” Sasuke sucks in a breath, scowling into the table.

“Genma’s been teaching me poisons for a reason. He’s been trying to get a genjutsu specialist to train me as well. The idea is that I’ll be more valuable in a role other than seduction.” 

“I’m going for a walk.” Sasuke says abruptly, storming out of the house. Sakura places the washed cup on the drying rack then goes back to the table and grabs a senbei. 

“I don’t blame you, you know? You shouldn’t have been there but if I’d been thinking clearly, I would’ve known.” 

“Huh?” Shikamaru looks up, confused.

“Ino told me you were acting weird. At the hospital. I appreciate you trying to get me out but, it just really isn’t that simple. We try to keep our numbers small but there’s...a certain age if you will, a part to look. Getting me out just means that someone has to fill my role.”

Shikamaru remains silent. 

“You should stay for dinner or did Sasuke drag you over before you had lunch? Naruto will be happy to see you either way.” Sakura falls silent, not knowing what else to say to fill the silence.

There’s silence for a moment and then, the ground shakes and Konoha screams. The wind howls in their ears and they rush out of the house, into the yard where Naruto was watering his plants. Konoha’s walls have been destroyed and giant snakes fill the space where they once were. Very familiar looking snakes. Dread fills Sakura.

_ I would give you a gift too if you weren’t the only one left awake _ .

_ Such pretty eyes _ .

_ I gave Sasuke-kun a present. He will find me for power. I look forward to that day, so do take care of him for me, seduction agent _ .

Phantom fingers touch her face.  _ I expect you to be there when that day comes, I’ll give you your present then _ . 

Sakura reaches for Naruto, staring into his bright, too bright blue eyes. He’s awake. 

“Sakura-chan?” He’s saying her name. He’s awake. She knows this isn’t the forest but she holds him at arms distance, checking for leeches. Naruto’s eyes are filled with worry when she looks back up into his eyes. 

“Where’s Sasuke?”

Sakura can’t breathe because for a moment, it’s just her and Naruto again. They’re in the stupid forest and she’s left Sasuke behind for dead. 

“I don’t know.” She says, tears leaking. She can’t do this again.

“He said he was going for a walk. Where does he usually go?” Shikamaru’s voice sounds distant. Where’s Sasuke?

“He’s probably at the shrine! Let’s go!” Naruto’s voice sounded far away as well. Where was Sasuke?

She needed to protect him. Needed to get both of them to the village. Why? Weren’t they already in the village? Weren’t they safe? Where’s Sasuke? Where were they going? To the village? To Sasuke?

“Sakura! It’s the first of August. The time is 1400 hours. You are in Konoha, at home.”

“...Sasuke?” She feels small, too ill equipped to deal with this.

“We’re going to find him now. Can you move?” Shikamaru pulls her up. 

She nods, not trusting her voice. They were going to find Sasuke. This time, she would not leave him behind. So she doesn’t stop to think when she cuts down the Suna ninja who appeared in front of them, kunai out. She barely thinks about bringing her kunai down on his throat.

_ Always double check your kills _ .

She sees Orochimaru crawling out of that corpse. She stabs the Suna nin’s heart again. 

Naruto looks at her as if she’s a stranger and  _ this _ is why she didn’t tell him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was really contemplating posting this since I like to be a few chapters ahead and I'm currently overwhelmed with school, ergo, haven't been writing. But, this was written a while back so here you go?
> 
> We're also in the invasion arc woohoo!   
> Also, I made backstories for like everyone while fleshing out their motives etc and I have a stinking feeling they're never gonna pop up (naturally) in the story D:


	17. Hide

Sasuke’s feet bring him to Naka shrine. 

What was it, he wonders, that made him so powerless? He was helpless five years ago. He was saved by Naruto in Wave. Sakura saved them in the forest. Kakashi saved Sakura in the hospital. He stares at the names he carved, five years overdue.  _ Better late than never _ , they’d said. He’d had to stop at his parents name and Sakura had hugged him as he cried. Naruto had hovered till Sakura pulled him in as well. Naruto’s stomach had ruined the moment, growling loudly. 

_ Find me. Don’t you want the power? To defeat Itachi, to defeat all who stand in your way. _

Sasuke clamps down on the voice. It’d gotten louder since he’d carved the names of his clan. As the visions of his clan dying before him lessened, visions of Sakura and Naruto dying took its place. And at the forefront of that all was Kabuto and Orochimaru. Sleep rarely came to him even as he found solace in Naruto and Sakura’s quiet breathing.

The ground rumbles and dust drops from the ceiling but the sound of screaming is unmistakable, carrying over even inside the shrine. Sasuke rushes out to see giant snakes crushing Konoha’s walls. Snakes that looked like those used by Orochimaru. His heart sinks and he remembers them dying but not. He has to find Naruto and Sakura.

He hears screams, not of Naruto or Sakura so he’s inclined to ignore it but.

“Sakura-chan? What are you doing?” Naruto’s voice rings clear.

Sasuke sees red. For a moment it isn’t Sakura standing there, atop an enemy nin. For a moment, he sees Itachi, corpses of his brethren fill the street and the smell of blood is overpowering. 

“Why did you kill him!”

Sasuke snaps out of it and lands between Naruto and Sakura.

“Sakura.”

Sakura takes a step towards him and suddenly lunges at him. And as her hair shifts away from her face, Sasuke can see, she doesn’t recognise him. He dodges the swipe she throws at him then moves to her left, pinning her down. He barely registers Naruto yelling behind him.

“Calm down. It’s me.”

Sakura struggles beneath him but when she meets his red eyes, recognition lights up her eyes and she stops fighting. Sasuke moves to her right, helping her up. 

“Sa..suke?” She grabs his face, kunai dropping to the ground. Then feels for his pulse. “You’re alive.”

“I am.” She looks at the corpse as if it’ll come back to haunt them. “We’re okay. It’s not  _ him _ .”

_ I see him coming for us in my dreams _ . _ I can’t pull you two away fast enough and then I’m freefalling through the trees _ . 

Sasuke knows how fragile their normal is. Naruto never sleeps first anymore, blue eyes bright in the darkness, watching over them. He never wakes peacefully, always looking for an enemy. And Sakura, Sakura drowns herself in her crafts. Sometimes she wakes him up, frantically checking his pulse, only calming down when she sees his sharingan. 

_ Naruto is close with the Hokage _ .

_ He didn’t make me do anything. I was recruited, he just signed the approval form _ . 

But that as good as damned her to a life as a seduction agent. And they both knew, Naruto would run straight to the hokage if he knew. Because Naruto was naive about the world, looks at the world through rose tinted glasses. Seen his ‘Ji-chan’ well liked as the hokage, wanted to be liked and made it his goal. Dense enough to not  _ see _ what was happening, not dense enough to be completely blind to everything. An inherent loneliness which made him not ask Sakura any questions whenever she reappeared after her seduction missions. And Sakura would never tell him, would not destroy Naruto’s dreams. Because Naruto’s endless optimism made her feel like she could have a normal life after everything. 

And all that was going to- _had just_ come crumbling down. 

Sasuke looks at Naruto’s face. Naruto looks torn, trying to reconcile his ‘Sakura-chan’ with the Sakura who’d just killed the Suna nin in front of him. He looks to Sasuke as if he’ll give him the key to doing just that. Sasuke can’t meet his eyes because he’d been an accomplice in hiding this side of Sakura from Naruto.

An anbu, dressed in a black cloak, drops beside the four of them. They startle into a defensive position.

“Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura. There are orders to move you to a safe location. Follow me.” 

Sakura turns around, hand still gripping Sasuke’s arm. “The house. There’s a hidden basement.”

“We’ll follow you.” Shikamaru says.

“Genin are to aid in the evacuation of citizens.” The anbu responds without missing a beat. 

“At least let us escort you there.” Shikamaru frowns.

Silence, then the anbu jerks his head, “Lead the way.”

The run back to the house is silent and quick. Sakura and Sasuke enter the house. Shikamaru hangs back, letting the anbu enter the house first.

“Where-”

“Shadow bind technique, complete.” Shikamaru says from the doorway, backlit by the sun streaming in, connecting his shadow to the anbu. 

Sakura emerges from the small room to the side, a new belt tied to her body. She quickly steps forward, senbon in hand, pricking the ‘anbu’s’ neck. Shikamaru can immediately feel the ninja stop struggling against the shadows. Sasuke rips off the ‘anbu’s’ mask. 

Yakushi Kabuto stares at them, looking unperturbed at the situation. Anger wells up in Sasuke, he brings his kunai to Kabuto’s neck. 

“Why are you here?” 

“That was quite a rude greeting, Sasuke. It’s a pity Sakura, but I know quite a bit about poisons myself.” He says. Shikamaru grunts as Kabuto breaks free of his shadows and stands up. Sasuke backsteps, pulling on a wire hidden in the wooden beams of the house causing ninja wire hidden in the floorboards to become taut, wrapping itself around Kabuto. He presses the kunai against Kabuto’s neck, drawing blood.

“I’ll ask again. Why are you here?” 

“Orochimaru-sama sent me to collect both of you.” Chills run up Sakura and Sasuke’s spine. 

Sakura doesn’t hesitate, she draws her kunai and slices his neck then stabs his heart in the same breath. She takes a breath, then another then steps back. There, one less person after them. She doesn’t meet Naruto and Shikamaru’s eyes. They’d already seen her kill the Suna nin, what was one more?

“We need to leave. Naruto, Shikamaru, come here.”

They don’t move. Shikamaru’s hands are still in the rat seal, still struggling against Kabuto.

“Are you running?” Kabuto says, faint smoke rises from his wounds as his head rises. Sakura remembers Orochimaru slithering out of a corpse. She feels bile rush up her throat. There are phantom fingers tracing her face, hands around her neck. If her poisons are useless and slitting his throat didn’t work. What else could she do? 

Kabuto cuts himself free from the ninja wire. “Now, shall we go?”

Sasuke acts where Sakura is frozen, kicking Kabuto out of the doorway as soon as he takes a step forward. Shikamaru is quick to pull him and Naruto out of the way. 

Outside, Naruto snaps out of it and creates a number of shadow clones, rushing at Kabuto to hold him down. Shikamaru use the shadows from Naruto’s clones to reach Kabuto, binds and then strangles him with the shadows. Naruto’s clones grab ninja wire and wrap around Kabuto, pulling hard around him. Sasuke lets a katon hit the shinobi as soon as the real Naruto lands beside him and Shikamaru’s shadows retreat as the fire blows hot and furious. 

He doesn’t stop the katon until the corpse stops twitching. The smell of burnt flesh hits the air as the smoke clears, Kabuto’s burnt body hanging from the ninja wire emerges. Sakura steps out of the house with an axe. 

“Sakura...chan? What are you doing?” Naruto asks as she steps towards the body.

Naruto will never see me as ‘Sakura-chan’ after this, she thinks. 

“Making sure it stays dead.” She says, stepping towards the body. If poison and slitting his throat didn't work then what about decapitation? The axe she swings never reaches it. Kabuto’s arm reaches out, stopping the axe. Naruto’s clones are so shocked, their grips loosen just enough for Kabuto to slip out of the wires. 

White smoke, previously hidden by the ash of the katon, rises from Kabuto’s skin and he makes for a truly gruesome sight. Shikamaru, already exhausted, is unable to move his shadows to bind him fast enough and Kabuto grabs hold of Sakura by the neck. She lets go of the axe, stabbing Kabuto with her poisoned needles, over and over again, kicking desperately, choking. 

The image of Sakura being strangled against a hospital bed by Kabuto freezes Sasuke, he remembers her eyes rolling back, body going limp. Fear grips him and he can’t move away in time. In the back of his mind, he wonders if Kakashi would appear to save them or would he be too late.

Kabuto shunshins to Sasuke, punching him in the gut then catching him as he reels from the attack. He leaps up the roof with Sakura and Sasuke, towards the rendezvous point outside of Konoha. 

\---

“Will you quit it!” Kabuto throws Sakura down on the debris. Sasuke lays limp, awake but unable to do anything, paralysed by Kabuto’s poison. Sakura’s limbs are slightly sluggish but she knows she isn’t going to pass out anytime soon. She’s worked with this before. Kabuto flicks away the poison gathered on his hand that he’d been pushing out as quickly as Sakura injected them into him. He drags her by her hair and slams her head against the wall till she stops struggling. Sasuke chokes, seeing blood drip down her head. Kabuto smiles, lifting Sakura up over his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The great part about writing in advance is I have chapters to post even when I'm too busy to write, the bad part about it is I get anxious the closer I am to the latest chapter...
> 
> Hopefully the action scenes make sense...writing them always feels awkward


	18. Lose

Naruto chases after his team, a faint sheen of orange chakra surrounding him.

Shikamaru knows the village protocol; evacuate the citizens before counterattacking. Knows that he and Naruto has no chance against that man even if they were fully rested. But not giving chase means that they’d likely lose Sasuke and Sakura forever. Spending resources to find two genin, even if one of them was the last Uchiha loyal to Konoha, was unlikely to happen after this. He follows Naruto, his bright orange clothing making him easy to spot. 

Being easy for Shikamaru to follow also made him an easy target. Yet, any shinobi trying to approach Naruto was  _ burned _ by the orange chakra, the chakra almost seeming to reach out to burn those nearby...was that a tail? 

“Give them back!” Naruto yells.

Sakura and Sasuke are limp, hanging from Kabuto’s shoulders. Shikamaru can see blood trickling down Sakura’s head. Kabuto barely spares Naruto a glance, leaping for the next roof. This makes Naruto even angrier, the orange sheen around him growing more solid.

“Boy, what’s going on?” A pug falls into step beside him. Shikamaru nearly trips in his surprise but recognises the Konoha headband on the pug’s head.

“An enemy pretending to be a Konoha anbu kidnapped Haruno Sakura and Uchiha Sasuke. Uzumaki Naruto and I are giving chase. We’re outclassed.” 

“Hm. It’s unfortunate but I’m not suited for combat, delay them. I’ll get backup.” The pug gives Shikamaru a sniff before disappearing.

In front of him, Naruto catches up with Kabuto, surrounding him with numerous clones. Shikamaru casts his shadows forward as soon as he’s within range, hindering Kabuto’s movements. Naruto’s clones reach for Kabuto, desperately trying to pry Sasuke and Sakura from his hands only to dissipate into white smoke. The clones, however, are not the only things giving off the white smoke in the area. Kabuto heals himself even as he’s burned by the kyubi’s chakra. 

The combination of shadows impeding Kabuto’s movements and Naruto’s relentless barrage is just enough to pry Sasuke away. Sasuke, still paralysed, rolls down the roof and Shikamaru lets go of Kabuto to catch him with his shadow, preventing him from falling off the building. 

Sasuke falling is enough to distract Naruto and Kabuto appears behind the real him, ready to strike down. Sasuke, hanging off the edge of the roof only by the grace of Shikamaru’s shadow, sharingan still blazing can see it all too clearly. A defenseless Naruto looking at him with worry, hand outstretched. Sakura slung over Kabuto’s shoulder, blood staining her hair, the blade coming for Naruto’s neck. This, he thinks, is real. This isn’t the ‘death’ he thought he’d experienced at Orochimaru’s hands, that paralysed him from fear. This was reality. He is paralysed by poison, Sakura is unconscious and Naruto is about to die. 

He can feel his chakra draining before rapidly being replenished. But he still can’t move. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realises that his cursed seal had activated. 

He’s never been so glad to see another sharingan in his life. 

Kakashi is unrelenting, grabbing hold of Kabuto’s neck, pivoting on one foot and kicking the kunai out of his hand, throwing him down. Then pulling him back up, using his body weight and momentum to pry Sakura away. Sasuke can feel a large weight pushing him up as Shikamaru visibly pales at Bull’s appearance. 

“You can let go now, boy.” Approval colours Pakkun’s voice. 

“Well done, Shikamaru.” Asuma’s voice surprises him from behind. The strength leaves his legs and he collapses, letting out a groan. He might go into early retirement, Shikamaru thinks.

“Well, it seems like Orochimaru-sama is leaving so I’ll take my leave for now.” Kabuto twists, freeing himself from Kakashi’s grip as he throws Sakura at him. 

“I’ll see you again, Sasuke, Sakura.” He shunshins away, leaving dust in his wake. 

They’re safe, Sasuke thinks as his vision blurs. The last thing he sees is his team, alive. He could not ask for more.

\---

Sasuke opens his eyes to see the hospital’s ceiling lights again. The sun is setting.

Naruto is solemn, eyes downcast. It’s a look that doesn’t suit him, Sasuke thinks as he sits up. Sakura lies on the bed opposite him, head bandaged.

“Naruto?” 

Sasuke opens his mouth, about to call him again, thinking he hadn’t heard him the first time when Naruto turns his head to him.

“Sasuke...” He trails off. 

Sasuke quickly gets off the bed, going to Naruto’s side. He waits for Naruto to speak. And when the sun fully sets and the crickets cry, Naruto speaks.

“Ji-chan...died.” 

Oh. Sasuke knows that for Naruto, the hokage had been his only family for  _ years _ . He remembers the words of pity that were said to him, remembers being angry because  _ nothing _ , no words could ever hope to fill the emptiness he felt, to placate the fear that shook his body. He decides not to say anything, holding Naruto’s hand in his and waiting for him to continue speaking.

“Ji-chan was a good guy. Why- Why did he have to die? I don’t understand. Hey, Sasuke,  _ why _ ?” Naruto sobs beside him. But as much as it pains him to see the normally cheerful boy so heartbroken, he can’t answer him. Because he doesn’t know why, his only answer from Itachi was because he’d wanted to test himself. Why did everyone,  _ anyone _ have to die for that? 

“...I don’t know.”

Naruto sobs even harder. Sasuke lets him cry till exhaustion catches up with him. Naruto would continue to grieve till exhaustion took him for a while, just like him. Then he’d get back up with a goal, just like him. 

He carries Naruto to the hospital bed he’d vacated earlier then walks over to Sakura’s bed, staring at her. She doesn’t hide that she’s been awake from him although Naruto never noticed her waking silently. As usual, he thinks ruefully. Sasuke realises, with a start that he can see her face, her  _ real _ face, even though he hasn’t activated his sharingan. 

“He fell asleep.” 

No response.

“He’s going to ask.” Sooner or later, he thinks. Seeing Sakura kill like that, Naruto would bring it up now that he’d seen it. He wishes they’d had more time. 

No response.

“Sakura.” He thinks she might ignore him again when she turns her head to actually look at him.

“I can’t. I can’t do that to him. He just lost him. I won’t do that, not to Naruto.” She shakes her head. “Help me, Sasuke.” She reaches for his hand, holding it desperately.

Sasuke can’t help but nod at her expression. A part of him whispers back though,  _ what can you do _ ?

\---

The funeral is a somber affair. The Third hokage, shinobi and civilian’s names are carved into stone. Naruto’s tears won’t come while Konohamaru bawls beside them. Iruka is the one who leads Konohamaru away and Naruto can’t bring himself to say anything to him. 

Kakashi follows them back to the house where they push for Naruto to take a shower. Naruto only realises Sakura’s slipped away again when he exits the bathroom. She’d managed to evade him all of yesterday and Sasuke had refused to help him locate her. He’s almost relieved to find her at the entrance of the house. She’s resetting the trap they’d used, replacing the ninja wire they- and then he remembers the shinobi they’d trapped there. Sakura had poisoned and slit his throat without a word. Naruto remembers the Suna nin they’d encountered before that. He’d screamed when he saw them, the kunai he’d swung was sloppy, eyes wild, terrified. 

_ Stay away! I don’t want to fight! _

Sakura had slit his throat and stabbed him in the heart, not just once but over and over again. Why? Why’d she have to kill him? He’d said he didn’t want to fight. That shinobi probably had people who would cry for him too. Just as Konoha was crying for Ji-chan. How could she be so...cold? 

“Sakura-chan.” His voice is level, soft.

She’s so focused on resetting the trap that she startles, ninja wire slipping and cutting her finger. 

“Naruto!” Sasuke calls from behind, towel in hand. Naruto’s hair was still dripping wet. Kakashi looks resigned from behind them, willing to let this play out. She stills, not wanting to turn around and see his face.

“Sakura-chan.” Naruto’s hand has no real force behind it but she’s turned around to face him easily. “Why?” 

She could play dumb. Ask him why what. But she knows it’s about her ruthlessness. She looks at Sasuke, pleading with her eyes. She doesn’t want to lie to Naruto.

“Naruto,” Sasuke steps forward. “Let’s talk about this ano-” 

Naruto feels his frustration spike as soon as Sasuke’s hand lands on his shoulder and he shakes him off.

“No! I've been listening to you from the start! I’m talking to Sakura-chan now. Why?” Naruto stands firm. Sasuke had told him not to ask any questions even as she disappeared over and over again. He’s listened to Sasuke. And each time she returned, she would never speak about why she disappeared to him. He knew, of course, that Sakura and Sasuke always, always talked about it. Always without him. He was the one who noticed. He was the one who’d called out to her that night. Why wouldn’t she tell  _ him _ anything? Why was only Sasuke allowed to know? He can see her looking at Kakashi for help. Why’d his whole team except him know? Ino and Sakura had fallen out a while ago and she knew. Even Shikamaru knew!

“Stop that! Why can’t you tell me! Why does everyone except me know? Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke are one thing but even Shikamaru and Ino know! Aren't we a team?” Naruto shakes her, pleading.

She can’t meet his eyes. Everything hurts and she’d rather be anywhere but here.

“I don’t want you to know.”

Naruto grits his teeth. Was he just not good enough? Couldn’t she trust him? She wouldn’t even look at him now. No, this wasn’t the girl he’d fallen in love with at the Academy. The Sakura he knew was strong, fearless and  _ always _ met his eyes. 

“Who are you? The Sakura-chan I know isn’t like that. You never let any of the bullies get to you and was always at the top of the class. And you’d always have flowers with you and although you didn’t like bugs, you wouldn’t kill them. And you lent me your notes and and,” He chokes, letting go of her. His hands reach up to wipe the tears blurring his vision.

“Just what happened to that Sakura-chan?” His voice cracks.

What happened, she wonders. Was it when that mission went wrong, when she’d been chased through Fire country, further and further away from Konoha with no hope of being rescued? Was it getting strangled and raped on her third B-rank? Was it when she killed on her first B-rank? Was it when Naruto’s beloved hokage signed the approval forms? Was it when she was recruited in the Academy? Before that? When did she stop being ‘Sakura-chan’?

“I don’t know.” 

“You don’t know or you won’t tell me?”

She drops the ninja wire in her hands, taking a step back. Then another, and another until she’s at the doorway. She takes in the house they built together. There’s her endless bookshelves, Naruto’s knick knacks, Sasuke’s vases, all the small pillows scattered on the sofa, the storage scrolls they took from Jiraiya and the smell of lavender permeating the house. In the yard, there’s Naruto’s plants, Sasuke’s tomatoes and the plants used in Uchiha rites. The kitchens hold her poisons, cookware and Naruto’s endless piles of ramen. 

She runs away from the only home she’s known since she became a shinobi. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This had to come up sooner or later and for better or worse it's coming up...now.


	19. Crowns

Naruto, Sasuke thinks, is an idiot. It’s a fact. He’s known this for a while now. But this was stupid even for him. Too blind in his grief and frustration to stop himself from pressuring Sakura. He stares at the blood that had dripped onto the floor. She’d been so scared she hadn’t even realised she was bleeding. 

He punches Naruto before he realises what he’s doing. For Sakura who wanted to protect Naruto’s impression of his Ji-chan, the only family he’d known growing up. 

“What are you doing, Sasuke!” Naruto blocks his next punch. Sasuke is relentless, pulling Naruto’s arm away and punching him again. For Sakura who laid genjutsu after genjutsu on herself so that Naruto wouldn’t notice her wounds, the eye she’s lost. And the more he thinks about it, the angrier he gets. What if he fails to see through her genjutsu one day? 

“That’s enough Sasuke.” Kakashi’s voice is gentle, soft even as he holds Sasuke’s arm back. Naruto’s beaten below him, already recovering due to the kyubi’s chakra. Sasuke leans back and he’s more tired than he expects himself to be. 

“Why?” Naruto cries. Sasuke thinks of Sakura, confiding in him late at night.

_ Sometimes I feel like I’m dreaming, I’ll wake up and be playing another cover. But when I see Naruto, he makes me believe that I can still be his ‘Sakura-chan’. _

His next punch carries no weight. Kakashi doesn’t even stop it. 

“Because she doesn’t want you to look at her differently. You’re an idiot, you wouldn’t be able to control your reactions. That’s why I didn’t tell you.” 

Sasuke stands up, he’s slightly lightheaded. Maybe staying up for two days was not a good idea. He shrugs off Kakashi’s attempts to help him. He needs to go after Sakura. 

“Rest, Sasuke. I’ll find her.” 

He jerks away from the hand Kakashi places on his shoulder.

“Sasuke, you need to rest.” He stares at Kakashi.

“Leave Sakura to me.”

Sasuke thinks of Sakura crying in his arms, Sakura who has only one eye left and wonders why he should leave Sakura to Kakashi. Kakashi who wasn’t there at the forest, made Sakura give a report the moment she woke up, wasn’t in the hospital room when Kabuto killed all the anbu, who wasn’t there when Kabuto invaded their home  _ again _ . Where was Kakashi all those times Sakura left for missions without team seven?

“No.”

He’d find her himself. Where would Sakura go? 

Kakashi summons his dogs and lifts Sasuke up. His lack of sleep is quickly catching up to him and his protests are weak.

“You don’t know where she is right? Pakkun, could you find Sakura?”

“This way.” Pakkun sniffs, leaping over a wall. Kakashi closes the door, leaving the rest of his dogs with Naruto.

The trail leads them to the flower fields behind the Academy. They aren’t masking their presence so Sakura can hear Kakashi’s soft footsteps as they approach. Pakkun trots in front of her.

“Sakura.”

“Hello, Pakkun. Would you like a flower crown?”

Pakkun grunts in approval, “I’ll let you touch my paws. They’re nice and soft.” He says, showing her his pink paw before settling down beside her as she continues braiding the flowers.

Kakashi sets Sasuke down beside her, careful not to squash the flowers she’s braiding into a crown. Sasuke stares at her with red eyes but is quiet, not knowing what to say. She doesn’t meet his eyes.

“Flower crowns?” Kakashi takes a seat opposite her and picks up some flowers, starting his own.

“I used to make them with Ino in the Academy.” Sakura finishes the flower crown in her hand, placing it on Pakkun’s head. Then, pokes his paw. It  _ is _ soft. 

“Hokage-sama would always take the flowers we gave him. He said he’d put them in his office. One time, he even let us place flower crowns on his head.” She lets go of Pakkun’s paw and starts on another crown. 

And that’s just it. Sasuke can’t imagine the hokage signing the approval form on Sakura’s recruitment papers. He can’t reconcile the man who’d taken care of him after the massacre with someone who’d allow an Academy student to enter the seduction division. This is the man who’d taken him out of the Uchiha compound, organised all of his clan’s assets, carefully taught him how to use the storage scrolls with everything in them. It’s the man who’d been the only familiar face when he’d woken up in a room full of anbu. It’s the man who raised Naruto, who’d gifted them tomato plants when he’d heard Sasuke likes tomatoes. How could someone like that send a child to take seduction missions?

_ He didn’t make me do anything. I was recruited, he just signed the approval form _ .

He looks at Sakura braiding flower crowns, sees through the genjutsu she’s layered on herself and he wonders, why wasn’t she angry at the hokage for recruiting her? She’d been livid when people spoke behind their backs. Had taken it upon herself to teach them how to cook so that they wouldn’t have to eat out and be subject to people’s stares whenever she was away. Or eat only at Ichiraku, as much as she liked Teuchi and Ayame. Why wasn’t she angry at everyone for letting it happen? The Academy teachers, her parents,  _ Kakashi _ .

“Aren’t you angry at him?” 

Sakura pauses her braiding, surprised Sasuke’s speaking.

“Being assigned  _ those _ kinds of missions.” Disgust colours his voice and he sounds more vehement that he thought he would.

“Sasuke.” Kakashi warns. “Hokage-sama loved each and every one of us dearly.” Disrespecting the man who gave up his life for the village on his funeral was just in bad taste.

“Did he?” Sasuke glares at Kakashi. Why was  _ Kakashi _ okay with this? Kakashi who told them to leave no one behind. Why hadn’t Kakashi stopped her from going on missions without team seven? He was the team leader, a jounin, didn’t that mean something?

“Sasuke.” Sakura drops the half-finished flower crown in her hands. She pulls him towards her from where he’d stood up. She knows Sasuke hasn’t slept, having watched over her the previous night. He barely slept ever since he’d offered to take watch and they’d gotten attacked by Kabuto. His eyes are red again, she thinks, meeting his eyes for the first time. 

“I never told you before right? What my missions were.” She casts a glance at Kakashi and he gets it. This was not a topic to broach in public and she was deferring to him as her superior. He lets go of his failed flower crown and shunshins them to his room, thankfully unaffected by the invasion. Pakkun drops Sakura’s half finished flower crown along with some grass and flowers on his floor.

“See ya!” The pug disappears in a puff of white smoke, flower crown still on its head.

“This place is secure. You can speak freely.” 

“Sasuke, stop using your sharingan?” She says softly. “We aren’t going to disappear you know.” She runs a hand through her hair and drops the genjutsu she’s layered over herself. Naruto wasn’t here and she wasn’t going to give Sasuke an excuse to keep using his sharingan. Using it that much, even if he was an Uchiha,  _ had _ to be a strain on his eyes. Kakashi had probably seen through her genjutsu a long time ago anyway. 

“Please.” She adds for good measure. Sasuke’s eyes fade to its usual black as she meets his eyes. The chakra drain is usually so minimal he doesn’t notice it but he must have been more tired than he realised. His head stops pounding for one. 

“My first B-rank mission, I pretended to be a lost child.” She picks up the half finished flower crown. 

“The client’s child had been kidnapped. They wanted us to at least find their bodies so they could give them a proper burial. The kidnapper liked to cut up children.” She pauses, remembering the bones under the noble’s house, her mouth hardens into a grim line. 

“I killed him after we found out where the children were buried. My next mission, we seduced the son of a noble to figure out why funds were being diverted from Fire country citizens. That time I was gone for two weeks, we uncovered a slave ring...I don’t like what happens during missions but every single one of them,” She holds his hands, looking into his eyes. “I did for a reason.” 

She remembers the parents who couldn’t identify which bones belonged to their child. The Fire country village’s orphanage finally having enough funding. Hokage-sama personally thanking her and Taichi for their service, reassuring her that the people who’d been kidnapped were returned to their villages and the organisation uprooted. How could she be angry?

Sasuke hears what she’s saying, her missions were unsavoury but undoubtedly important. But when he looks at her scared face, ribbon braided into her hair, hitai-ate around her neck, he hears her silent cries and wonders, why her? 

“Because she’s trained for it.” Kakashi could not be more proud of his student. The mental fortitude to stand by her beliefs and protect the people of Konoha and Fire country. Possessing the will of Fire like a true Konoha shinobi. But judging from the way the Sasuke jolts at his response, he suspects he hadn’t meant for the words ‘but why you’ to slip out. 

“Sasuke, infiltration missions are some of the most difficult work shinobi undertake. Konoha puts far more resources into moulding infiltration agents than any other type of shinobi. And among them, the seduction division takes most of the budget. They are few in number and only recruit every other year. They aren’t just ‘ _ those kind of missions _ ’, they’re missions that place the seduction agent returning alive as the top priority if only because it takes years to produce someone who’s  _ decent _ .” 

_ Being assigned  _ those  _ kinds of missions _ .

Sasuke’s words, dripping with disgust, had bugged him, it was woefully reminiscent of Iruka's words. Any shinobi worth their salt knew just how important any infiltration agent was. A broken cover for information gatherers usually meant torture followed by death - a gruesome one by enemy hands. Those that do survive, live in fear of retribution. They were rarely highly skilled in other areas, dedicating their life to their cover, slipping up usually meant death after all. Numerous shinobi lived and died on an information gatherer’s words. They deserved nothing but respect. 

It’s why the village took their identities so seriously, he thinks, remembering Sasuke being tagged as a possible risk to exposing Sakura’s identity. It’s also why Sakura’s real file was comparable to Sasuke’s and Naruto’s last he’d checked. He’d spent a while reading through the restricted encrypted copies in a locked windowless room crawling with anbu. That copy had been burned before he even left the room. Every person who even came close to figuring out her identity was tagged. Shikaku had thrown a fit when he realised his son was referenced in a seduction agent’s file. 

He sighs, throwing his head back and catches sight of his genin team photo. How many times had he been saved during the war by infiltration agents? Their work unseen, their deaths far away from home, many likely to not even be buried in Fire country soil, if they were even lucky enough to be buried.

“As a citizen of Konoha and a shinobi, I could not be more proud of the sacrifice you have made for Konoha, Sakura.” 

Sakura’s cheeks colour and she fiddles with her hair. 

“As your teacher, I wish it was someone else.”

Sakura is silent. The way Kakashi had spoken about her missions made her feel almost  _ important _ to the system. But it’s Kakashi’s last sentence that really rings.

_ I wish it was someone else _ .

She hadn’t even considered the possibility of Kakashi wanting to get her out of the seduction division when he’d congratulated her on her first B-rank. Carefully, she says. “You’d get me out?”

“If I could.” Kakashi admits, closing his one visible eye, almost as if he was feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. “But the Hatake aren’t considered a clan anymore. I have no leverage.”

Because his father’s failed mission had pushed Konoha to the brink of war and caused the loss of many infiltration agents. The whole clan had been called to fight, pay for his father’s failure. His father may be remembered as a respected shinobi now but back then, the tension was palpable. His clan had been supportive at first but as their parents, brothers, sisters, children died, they’d thrown away the Hatake name. He couldn’t blame them. 

And Sakura understands. She’s heard the stories, there’s no gossip the infiltration division can’t get to, much less the seduction division. His intention was enough. She gives him a small smile and places the flower crown she’d finished with the flowers Pakkun had dropped off on Kakashi’s head. It’s a little small, with grass instead of flowers at the last bit she’d finished.

Sasuke, silent till now, speaks up. “So there’s nothing we can do? We just have to watch you go on missions without us? Until you get out? How long will that take?” He’d never quite gotten that walk of his so his temper about his helplessness at the situation was quick to return. He also, very pointedly, doesn’t look at Kakashi, less angry did not mean he was not angry. 

“I need to get noticed for my genjutsu or poison when I make chunin at least. Then I’m aiming for tokujo, by then I’ll hopefully have little to no seduction missions.”

Kakashi stills because that just sounds like Sakura was trying to get  _ out _ of seduction. He’d assumed Genma was her way of enhancing her skillset and had taken no real offence. But if that wasn’t the case, if Sakura was trying to get out of seduction, if she’d never wanted to be in seduction in the first pla- 

_ Aren’t you angry at him _ ?

Sasuke’s words echo again. Why? Why would Sasuke be angry? Why did Sasuke think Sakura would be angry? For being assigned seduction missions? For being a seduction agent in the first place? For being recruited? 

Sarutobi Hiruzen was a kind and benevolent hokage who exemplified the will of fire. Sure, infiltration agents were recruited young but seduction- The hokage wouldn’t force a child into seduction. Would he? 

_ Naruto, I’m asking you as your hokage _ . 

His voice had been cold but that had been an emergency. Orochimaru had breached the village’s defences and was on the loose. 

Sarutobi Hiruzen was hokage. And if he could close his heart to Minato-sensei’s child-

The crown Sakura’s placed on his head feels heavy and dread fills him. He knows the signature on Sakura's approval form and it begs the question. 

“Sakura, who recruited you?” 

“Shimura-sama.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter marks the end of my backlog and unfortunately, the next chapter has been in limbo for neigh on a month now. It's been rewritten many times and even now, more things occur to me about how a character would react. So, I suppose what I'm trying to say is that my weekly update streak has been stalled :(
> 
> As usual, would love to hear what you guys think each character would do/what nonsense they'll land themselves in next :D


	20. Alone

Jiraiya finds his godson drowning his plants. 

He’s lost in thought, still watering even as the pot overflows.

“This is an improvement.”

“He was crying in Sakura’s poison room earlier.”

“I thought he was going to poison himself.”

“I’m hungry.”

_ Will you be taking Naruto away, Jiraiya-sama? _

Jiraiya waves away Kakashi’s ninken. 

Naruto doesn’t even react when he takes the watering can away from him. This was probably about more than just Hiruzen’s death, judging by the blood at the doorway and Kakashi’s dogs. He wishes Pakkun was present, the pug would have likely given an explanation better than ‘they fought and left Naruto crying on the floor’.

He’d come to get his godson to accompany him to get Tsunade and away from anyone hoping to take a chance considering the village’s weakened defences. Maybe the change of pace would be good for him as well. 

“Naruto.”

“...Ero-sennin...when did you get here?”

“A while ago.” He’s not sure how to handle Naruto. A Naruto whose attention had drifted away almost immediately. He herds him back into the house, steering him to the couch. Then goes to the kitchen, returning with cup ramen in hand.

_ Will you be taking Naruto away, Jiraiya-sama? _

“We’re going on a trip, Naruto.” Guess he lied to Kakashi, he thinks. 

Naruto seems to take a while to process what he’d said. Jiraiya doesn’t doubt that the smell of cooked ramen helps. He picks up one of the cup ramen and starts slurping, waiting for Naruto to respond. 

“A trip?”

“Yes, we’re going to find someone  _ very _ important!”

“I don’t wanna.” Well this wasn’t going the way he thought it would. But if things had gone the way he wanted, his godson wouldn’t have been kidnapped. He drops the smile on his face.

“It wasn’t a choice. Eat your ramen. We leave at dawn tomorrow.” 

“No.” Naruto’s voice is defiant and he looks up for the first time, a challenge in his eyes.

“Oh? Why?”

“I-I need to be here.” He rubs his cheek. “I’m an idiot so the only thing I can do is be here when Sakura-chan comes home.”

The sentiment is moving and under normal circumstances, he’d encourage it. But he’s realistic, Konoha had just lost many shinobi. Whoever survived would be pulled into rebuilding and keeping up its image. It was imperative that Konoha continued to take missions, not show any weakness. Between her taking B-ranks and the mess he’d seen outside, Naruto’s ‘Sakura-chan’ wouldn’t be back for a while. 

“We leave at dawn tomorrow. Remember to pack.” He moves to leave.

“No!” Naruto stands, fists clenched. “I need to be here! I’m not going!” 

This time, he’d listen to Sasuke. He wouldn’t ask any questions. He’d be there for Sakura-chan. He’d apologise to her. Sakura had accepted his apology before so it’d be okay, right?

“This isn’t up for discussion, Naruto. You’re going.”

“No!” Naruto storms off further into the house, leaving his ramen on the table, untouched.

Jiraiya sighs, but dutifully cleans up the place, resetting the trap at the doorway and putting away the extra ninja wire. When dawn came, he’d have to wrestle his godson away from here.

\---

There’s a tap on his window and a courier nin delivers a scroll, miming at Sakura.

He knew this was coming, really. He just thought they’d have longer. Not even a day after the sandaime’s funeral and she already had a mission. Would he be pulled from the team as well? He hands the scroll to her. She’d woken up at the tap even as she rubbed away the sleep in her eyes. She doesn’t open the scroll in front of him, he notes in approval.

She sighs quietly as she looks at Sasuke.

“He doesn’t sleep.” Her voice is pitched low and soft. “Lots of nightmares in there.” She says, tapping the side of her head. 

“Keep in touch.” He nods, he’d take care of Sasuke. 

“Naruto…” She doesn’t know what to say.

“I’ll take care of him.” 

She entwines her fingers, “I’ll see you soon, Kakashi-sensei.”

She sneaks back into the house through her window to see Jiraiya in her room. She’s startles for a moment before bowing in respect.

“Jiraiya-sama.” 

“I’m taking Naruto out of the village.” His tone is final, leaving no room for discussion.

For a moment, she wants to protest because how could it be safe for him to leave Konoha? Then she realises that Konoha’s defenses had been breached  _ before _ an invasion and Naruto was likely far safer at the side of Jiraiya. She’d heard of how he’d pushed finding three genin up Konoha’s list of priorities that night. She bows deeper.

“Please take care of Naruto.”

Jiraiya nods, eyes falling to the scroll in her hands. “Mission?”

“Yes.”

“You’re not going to tell Naruto?”

“He...has a lot on his plate now.” 

Jiraiya doesn’t respond, merely waves at her as he leaves the room. 

\---

_ Sakura got a mission in the middle of the night _ .

He’s angry at Kakashi but even angrier at himself for not waking before she left. She wasn’t supposed to do that. They’d agree-

“Sasuke. I’ll meet you at the house.” 

“Huh? You’re the one who insisted on following me back.”

“I just remembered I had a little something to do. I’ll meet you back there.”

Sasuke tries not to show his annoyance. But he knows that it’s in his body language as he continues down the street without Kakashi.

It’s worse when he finds Naruto’s note, handwriting illegible as always. 

_ Ero-sennin said we needed to find a “very” important person. I’ll be back before you know it! _

At least he’ll be safe with Jiraiya. Just that seemed like a lot to ask for these days. He decides to redo the laundry. Whatever Sakura had done just before the attack would likely be dirty. He’s pleasantly surprised to find that the laundry was done, only needing to be hung out. Sakura must have come over before she left, even leaving a note behind.

_ Sasuke, hang this out. Jiraiya-sama took Naruto. _

When thirty minutes has passed and Kakashi still hasn’t shown up, he decides to find him. And really, the last thing he expects to find is Kakashi fighting. Strike that, the last thing he expects to find is Itachi. 

“It’s been a while, Sasuke.” 

A little over two weeks ago, he  _ finally _ carved the names of his clansmen,  _ finally _ performed the correct rites and now their murderer is right in front of him. A murderer he’s not strong enough to kill. A fight he wasn’t supposed to undertake alone. 

_ Survive in an unsightly way. Just keep running away and clinging to life. _

He remembers running from Itachi, fear coursing through his veins.

His clansmen fall by Itachi’s blade, Itachi’s eyes are redder than the blood he spills and his clansmen fall again. Blood stains the streets, the floor of his once-home, the white of his father’s kimono. 

Kakashi sways, barely able to keep himself upright, sharingan eye open. “Sasuke! Run!” 

Run where?

There is red. It’s the red of the sharingan, the red of the sky, the red staining the streets, the red staining his brother’s hands. It is red that that courses through his veins, that calls him to move, floods his vision. It’s a single-minded instinct calling for revenge and in that instant he can’t help but think that he too, is a hypocrite. Naruto promised not to ask, Sakura promised not to silently disappear and he promised not to face Itachi alone. 

There is fire. It’s the fire he learnt to bend to his will at the lake, the fire that cremated the Uchiha, the fire that he lets loose at Itachi. It is hot and furious and nothing like the warmth that comes from his teammates. 

His sharingan is the only thing that allows him to see Itachi even if his body is too slow to react. The blows are heavy and his body aches from healed bruises. Itachi’s final blow sends him flying, crashing into the water where what chakra he gathers is too slow to break his fall. Sasuke scrambles to reach for the surface, body reeling from the blows.

“Weak.”

Sasuke hacks up water from his lungs and his throat burns. His feeble attempt to stand results in nothing as he drops back into the water. The red tinge the sharingan brings fades away and he feels lightheaded. 

_ Weak _ , Itachi said. Wasn’t he? He’d been too weak to do anything when they got captured, worse, they were captured  _ because _ of him and now... All it took was a few hits to take him out? He’d never missed training, always went above and beyond and he couldn’t even defend himself. Had nothing changed in five years? Was the only thing he could do cry for help? 

_ Don’t you want to defeat Itachi? _

He’d run from Itachi, abandoning his parents, not even checking whether they were still alive in favour of running away. He is weak so he runs from the corpses that line the street. He is weak so he doesn’t check if anyone is still alive. He runs away from his family. He is weak. Why is he so weak?

“Do you want to know why you are weak?” He’s vaguely aware he’s staring at Itachi’s feet. 

He wonders if this is where he dies. Naruto was right, he can’t face Itachi alone. What was he thinking? He couldn’t even get Naruto and Sakura out of a forest. Why is he so weak? If he’d been stronger, maybe Naruto would still sleep peacefully. If he’d been stronger, maybe Sakura would still have two eyes. 

_ Do you want power? _

The seal Jiraiya has put in place burns like a brand. 

“Because you lack-”

The clap from a jounin’s kick sends water flying and cuts off Itachi’s words. Water drips down his collar as he hangs from the jounin’s arm.

“Well done, young man. The anbu reinforcements I called for will arrive in a moment.” He can see the blue man charging forward, the sword made of scales swinging at them both even as the jounin dodged and his heart leapt. “For the time being, I shall be your opponent.” He can feel the jounin shift into a stance even as he hangs from his arm.

“Stop, Kisame. We didn’t come here to start a war. It’s a pity but continuing this would be a waste of time. We’re leaving.”

What? Itachi was...leaving? Again? Why? No. He needed answers. Why did he kill everyone? Why was he spared? Itachi can’t leave. Not again. He’s vaguely aware of people calling his name, vaguely aware that Kakashi has fainted, smacked straight onto the water’s surface, vaguely aware that he can’t seem to get enough air in his lungs. His vision turns dark and the last thing he feels is the cold splash of water hitting his face.

In his dreams, the memories of Itachi overlap. Itachi leaving for missions, leaving Konoha and leaving him behind. 

Alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Itachi is a bitch to write. But I think I’ve figured out what to do with him, hopefully it doesn't come off as an Itachi worship but I think this will only be revealed when they are shippuden age :D  
> Apologies for the wait, I’m slowly trying to get back into writing, time permitting. Hopefully the next chapter won’t take too long to write. I have no backlog, I thought I would just get this chapter out asap so no eta on the next chapter. I also hope this chapter wasn't jarring to read, since there was a huge gap of time while working on it, lemme know if you felt something was off.


	21. Old Memories

When dawn breaks, Jiraiya wrestles Naruto away. 

It’s not that Naruto’s plan to lose Jiraiya in a sea of clones wouldn’t have worked. It’s more that what ninja, in a ninja house nonetheless, would escape in such a manner? Even if the plan was to buy time and return later, the clones were sloppy, fluctuations in chakra giving them away. Was this the standard of Konoha’s genin? Of Konoha’s future? Of Minato’s child? 

Naruto grunts under him, struggling to get away. 

“Don’t be like that, I’ll even teach you a cool jutsu along the way.” 

Naruto doesn’t respond. If Jiraiya wanted him to leave, he’d have to drag him away. He wasn’t going to lift a finger to help.

Jiraiya sighs. “Konoha needs a new Hokage.”

“You’re replacing ji-chan!?”

“Konoha  _ needs _ a new Hokage. Without one, we have no direction and we appear weak. You want to help your friends? Start by helping the village you live in.”

\---

Despite Naruto’s urgency to return to Konoha, Jiraiya was content to pace themselves and train Naruto. The days were spent in forests, teaching Naruto how to discern between edible and inedible plants, practicing how to travel amongst the canopy and regulate chakra around the body. 

It takes days for some of Naruto’s cheerful vigour to return and with it, remembering Jiraiya’s promise to teach him a new jutsu. Violently spinning his chakra inside the water balloon proves to be a task challenging enough to keep Naruto quiet. 

When they reach Tanzakugai and find Tsunade, Naruto is more interested in the water balloon than the next hokage.

“Come back to Konoha, Tsunade. Come home.”

Tsunade’s memories of Konoha are old. They’re of Konoha before the third war. A village that still had its Hokages, still had its ties to Uzushio, a village that came out of each war stronger than before. Until the third war, that is. When she thinks of the blood and fear that pollutes the memories of her late twenties, Tsunade can’t help but want to stay away. Her memory of Konoha should stay that - a memory. 

“No.”

She downs the sake that Jiraiya had poured for her and leaves. 

“Tsunade!” Jiraiya rushes to pay the bill, dragging Naruto out of the izakaya and onto the street in a bid to catch up to her. “Konoha needs you to be her Hokage!”

That surprises Tsunade enough to make her pause. Jiraiya’s jokes had only gotten more ridiculous in the time she hadn’t seen him and she wasn’t drunk enough to deal with this. 

“Don’t joke with me, Jiraiya.” Her as Hokage? The hat was a curse and she would like to keep living. “I’m not going back. Stop following us.”

“Tsuna-” Naruto’s rubber ball breaks, splashing them both with water.

“I did it! Woohoo! Did you see that, ero-sennin?” Naruto picks up the stray cat playing with one of the rubber balls that had dropped on the street and cheers.

Jiraiya stares at Naruto. His godson had the worst timing and by the look of things, had pissed off Tsunade.

“I’ve been wondering for a while but exactly who is this brat, Jiraiya!”

“Uzumaki Naruto.” 

Naruto looks up at the mention of his name. 

“Why is he here?” Tsunade’s tone is accusatory, Jiraiya should not have taken the jinchuriki out of Konoha.

“I’ve taken him on as my apprentice.” Jiraiya flicks his wet hair behind him. “Now, about Konoha-”

“My answer is no.  _ Leave _ , or I will.”

“Ero-sennin, can’t we just go?” Naruto tugs on Jiraiya’s sleeve even as he opens his mouth to continue to press the matter. Jiraiya can hardly believe what he’s hearing, he brought Naruto here to help persuade Tsunade to come back, not to persuade  _ him _ to leave her alone.

“I mean, she doesn’t want to be Hokage so we shouldn’t force her right?” Naruto falters at Jiraiya’s look of disbelief. “I mean! Like we could always find someone else right? Someone who actually wants to be Hokage! Like me! I already finished the first stage so you just need to finish teaching me and I’ll be even closer to being Hokage!”

Tsunade can’t help but laugh. A jinchuriki as Hokage? The last and only jinchuriki to be a Kage was from the Bloody Mist. A great precedent. “Yes, Jiraiya. Listen to him and go back to Konoha.” She spares a last glance at Naruto, taking in how he looked nothing like the typical Uzumaki. 

“A word of advice, kid. Being Hokage is not all that great.”

\---

Tsunade is not surprised to see Jiraiya outside her room. At least he didn’t break in. 

“I’m not going to be Hokage, Jiraiya. Take the jinchuriki with you and go back to Konoha.” 

“Orochimaru killed him.” Jiraiya follows her into the room, leaning against the wall. 

Tsunade pauses, she’d suspected that her old teacher was dead when Jiraiya asked her to be Hokage but death by old age and death by murder were two very different things. 

“He impersonated the fourth Kazekage during the chunin exams and infiltrated the village. We were invaded by Suna. The group I’ve been monitoring has started to move as well. Konoha needs a strong leader now more than ever, Tsunade.” 

“It isn’t the first time Konoha has been threatened and it won’t be the last. Find someone else foolish enough to take on the hat.” 

“Foolish?” Although she looks exactly as she did in her youth, foolish is not a word the Tsunade then would have used to describe being Hokage, Jiraiya thinks. 

“Yes, they were all fools. Dying in pursuit of something like that.” Tsunade recalls Orochimaru’s bloodstained hands digging through bloodied soil. The bodies of her family which were never recovered. What was the point? They should have just come back instead of dying in a battlefield. She eyes Jiraiya, “That boy. The jinchuriki. He’ll probably die just like-” 

“His name is Naruto, Uzumaki Naruto. He’s not going to die. He’s taken everything I’ve thrown at him and more and yet he comes out of it stronger than before. You should see him for yourself before saying anything.” A child who can get Gamabunta and the kyubi to listen to him? Convincing Tsunade would be easy. 

“What? Is this about your destiny again?” She remembers Minato and the orphans Jiraiya had stayed behind to train during the second war, first out of guilt then because of the “destiny” the Great Toad Sage gave him. All dead. Were they dead because lofty ideas were put in their head or just unlucky?

“No, he found me by chance. I played along at first but one thing led to another and…” Jiraiya sighs. “Sometimes he reminds me of Minato, not for his smarts but his passion. A passion you seem loathe to see now. What happened?”

“What makes you think something happened? I’ve just had a lot of time to think after so long. Becoming Hokage is a pipe dream. Sarutobi-sensei used to be the only exception to that. He was already so old, I thought he’d actually die a natural death.” She fingers the necklace. “You should tell him- Naruto, to give up. Becoming Hokage is for those with a death wish.”

Jiraiya laughs. “Naruto is more stubborn than you think, as if something like death could stop him. Come back to Konoha, Tsunade. Let him show you, please.”

“Drop it, Jiraiya.” She sighs, Jiraiya never knew when to stop. “In the first place, what were you thinking, bringing the jinchuriki out of Konoha?” 

“Konoha wasn’t safe. Orochimaru didn’t express any interest in him but he was taken. Easily, from right under our noses.” He squashes the image of mangled bodies in their beds. At Tsunade’s questioning look, he continues. “He wanted Uchiha Sasuke, guess he decided to play around with the whole team as well. It’s a miracle they all made it out alive. I don’t know what Sarutobi-sensei was thinking. He put a seduction agent on the team. She’s thirteen. We  _ never  _ have agents that young in seduction." Jiraiya sighs, his strength leaving him. Approval for new seduction agents went through the Hokage and only the Hokage. Yet, Jiraiya had needed to see for himself. A damning signature and stamp on Sakura's recruitment form, on recruitment forms for children even before Sakura.

"Tsunade, there’s something wrong in Konoha. Why would sensei allow children to be in seduction?” 

_ Children don’t belong on the battlefield.  _ Her grandfather’s words ghost her ears. 

Konoha is a village who has lost yet survived, staying true to what it stood for. 

Tsunade can’t help but think, perhaps that may no longer be true. Maybe it hadn't been that way for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tsunade is cynical af I swear, you can't convince her to do shit. Because of all the butterfly effects yada yada, we have Naruto and Jiraiya meeting Tsunade before Orochimaru comes and finds her. You'd think this makes her decision easier...
> 
> Chapter is kinda short because I split it since the next part would've taken me a while to get through and I thought I should update it as it's been a while. I'd be surprised if anyone can guess what Sakura is doing while all this is happening.


	22. Subterfuge

Sakura puts on her best smile and prays that the worst that happens is she gets ignored. 

“Hi, I’m Sakura. Nice to meet you.” 

She gets ignored. 

The vast majority of Suna’s army had fled home after the destruction, determined to find out what happened to their kazekage. This group, escorted by Konoha nin consisted mainly of injured Suna nin and its genin. She’s assigned to the same carriage as the kazekage’s children because who better than a trained agent who’s around their age group? At least she doesn’t need to walk like some of the other genin are. 

She takes a seat beside the girl - Temari - because she seems the least likely to snap at her for some imagined transgression. It’s uncomfortable and the smell of blood lingers even though they’re not near the carriages with the injured. The Suna nin keep her in the corner of their eye - distrust apparent. If she wasn’t clearly outmanned and outclassed, Sakura might have been inclined to say something. They may be surrounded by injured Suna nin but Konoha has sent precious medics and resources to send them to the border safely. Resources that Konoha needed. As if Konoha didn’t have civilians and shinobi dying within its own walls, houses to be fixed and the dead to bury. 

She studies their jinchuriki out of the corner of her eye. She knows Jiraiya-sama had...helped in some way - what exactly, the rumours did not say but Suna owed Konoha. Not just for this transgression but for the aid provided even after. She’d have to ask around for the details whenever the information agents made it back or ask Jiraiya himself if she didn’t miss him. The toad sage rarely stayed in Konoha for long periods of time, it was pure luck that he’d been around to deal with Suna’s jinchuriki while everyone else was preoccupied. Here lay a monster who’d easily laid waste to a good portion of Konoha. She may have only seen the large snakes tearing down the walls in person but the mark the jinchuriki left did not go unnoticed. The ground and forest dug up and all but erased. Only the deepest roots gave any indication that trees once graced the land. The tally for the presumed dead would no doubt continue to rise. 

Sakura hadn’t checked. Her house, her parents, her unborn sister. She was in the dark about their whereabouts and status. She hadn’t made good on her promise to visit them either so the last conversation they’d had was in the hospital. Her words had been harsh, trying to get them to leave before her control over her genjutsu snapped. She squashes the image of her parents leaving the hospital without her. Not the time to think of what ifs. 

She spends the days observing the Suna siblings. She has no doubt that the few Konoha nin around would be doing the same. All the information they collected would be handed in to update their archives. The first thing she notices is that the jinchuriki doesn’t sleep. The closest he ever came to sleeping was a light doze and even that never lasted long. The next is how awkward the siblings were around each other. Not that she would know how to interact with siblings but the older siblings seemed to trip over themselves when trying to interact with the jinchuriki. She might have found it cute if she erased who they were from her brain. 

There was no harm in playing nice while they made their way to the border so Sakura smiles, pretends to be a naive genin who sympathises with poor Suna who had their Kazekage killed and were tricked into invading Konoha. It works, the hostility subsides and the siblings are more willing to speak with her. They trade pointers on cuisine, weather and cultural differences. Kankuro lets her see a small tin of his face paint and the kohl that some of them wear. She takes note of how they apply the face paint, the patterns and the meanings behind them where they were willing to share. It’s a farce, a young girl smitten by foreign make-up. 

The distrust at the border is more apparent. Here were Konoha shinobi who hadn’t yet seen how badly Konoha had fared, merely heard the news of Suna’s invasion. They make notes, combing through the Suna nin, documenting each one. When it comes to the siblings however, a form is thrust into Sakura’s hands. Dutifully, she fills them out with Temari’s input. It’s simple enough, verifying their identity and documenting that they’re leaving Fire. Sakura can feel all the nin tense the moment they cross the border into River. Outside of their own borders and carrying injured, getting ambushed would be terrible. 

They pick up the pace immediately, the medics board the carriages while the shinobi keep pace at the side, keeping guard. They send out scouts to clear the path. Sakura is careful to pace herself. As soon as they sent the Suna nin past their own border, she knew they would double back to Konoha as quickly as possible. They camp without fire so dinner is cold rations but Sakura can’t complain. She knows that there’s a hidden village in River but she’s not sure if they’re hostile. 

River is humid and the night brings with it a chill in the air. The damp night reminds her of the Wave mission, the memory of Naruto offering her his blanket to fend off the chill comes unbidden. ‘ _ Who are you? _ ’ Naruto had asked. She still didn’t have an answer for him. She pulls the blanket closer to herself, can’t help but hear a small voice ask whether Naruto would ever offer her his blanket again, wonder if they’d ever camp together under the night sky again. She’d have to apologise to Sasuke, for not telling him she was going on a mission. But how could she when Sasuke was sleeping peacefully for once. She can imagine him grumpily checking her over for wounds when she returns. 

She’s vaguely aware of footsteps nearing her but she’s careful not to make any sudden movements. She can see a blanket being offered and the black sandals of Suna’s shinobi. The blanket, positioned in front of her blocks her from seeing exactly who is offering it. The thought crosses her mind of a hidden weapon but her fears are allayed at the sight of the jinchuriki. It could kill her with a thought, no need for hidden weapons. She lets confusion colour her face as she gets up, making sure not to take the kunai hidden in the bed roll. 

“Take it.” 

“Wha-” She hurries to grab hold of the blanket he lightly thrusts in her direction. “Wait, what about you?” 

“Me?” Gaara barely turns around, his voice taking on a questioning tone.

“It’s cold.” 

“I’m used to it. Use it.” Gaara steps out of sight, leaving her with his blanket. 

Sakura would have liked to not use anything given to her by Suna but it was cold and she was fairly certain that her not using the blanket could be seen as an affront. As much as she’d like to shake out the blanket for sand, she lays it atop her own and crawls into her bedroll. She doesn’t let go of the kunai hidden in the bedroll for the rest of the night. 

\---

Gaara doesn’t quite know what to think of the pink haired Konoha nin. He doesn’t quite know what to think of anything really. His father was dead, an imposter had taken his place for who knows how long and his siblings were talking to him. The fact that he could think by himself was new too. 

He’s still afraid to sleep, the Toad Sage had altered his seal, granted him the ability to think without input from the voice but he didn’t trust what would happen if he fell asleep. Rampaging and destroying the convoy would surely make for an act of transgression Konoha would not sweep under the rug. Worse, he may never meet Konoha’s jinchuriki, have the Toad Sage’s aid and the newfound affections of his siblings. He’s careful to keep himself away from the others, staying in the carriage. He knows that the others fear his sand so he’s careful to keep it all in his gourd. 

Still, he’s touched when the girl actually uses the blanket, doesn’t dust it off. Sakura was an enigma to him. Here was someone who the Toad Sage had mentioned as being Konoha’s jinchuriki’s pink haired friend. He’s not sure exactly how common pink hair was in Konoha but surely it was rare enough since hers was the only he’d seen the entire time. Yet he was suspicious of the numerous genjutsu laid on her person. Was this someone pretending to be her? And to what end? 

His suspicions grow as he watches his siblings interact with her and stop as soon as they enter River. She’s laying out her bedroll and shivering in the chilly air. It seems like Konoha nin were not used to the cold nights. It’s only for a moment, but her genjutsu slips. Jagged scars run down the left side of her face. Her use of genjutsu suddenly seems justified to him. He’d seen the way people shied away from those who did not look the same and he cannot find fault in her desire to blend in. So he offers her his blanket. Suna’s nights were far colder than River and he was used to it. He also suspected Suna’s cloaks provided more protection to the cold than Konoha’s. 

He can’t help but think, maybe, just maybe Sakura would be willing to befriend him just as she was willing to befriend Konoha’s jinchuriki.

When dawn breaks and Sakura returns the blanket, he curses his inability to respond before she leaves. The journey back to Suna suddenly seems too short. He needed more time to figure out how to ask her to stay in touch. Would she be there when the Toad Sage next makes contact? What about Konoha’s jinchuriki? Did he know about her scars? Were they friends because of that? Since he knew, could they be friends now? 

He’s not really thinking when he grabs her hand at Suna’s border, doesn’t notice the fear that Sakura hides behind a smile, doesn’t realise that his sand had reacted to his emotions and was circling around her. 

“When...when can we meet again?” At her lack of response, he continues. “Will you be with the Toad Sage when he visits?”

“I...” She can feel the gazes of the shinobi around them, the fear and almost resigned expression on some. As if her fate is sealed. Sakura carefully doesn’t struggle out of his grip, doesn’t let her gaze linger on all the sand around her. “I’ll ask him.” 

The answer seems to satisfy the jinchuriki and he lets her go. Temari quickly steps between them while Kankuro tries to move the jinchuriki away. 

_ For your wrist _ . Temari mouths as she slips her a small tin, gesturing to the arm she’d hid behind her back as soon as Kankuro had blocked the jinchuriki’s view. She mouths back a thank you as they watch the Suna nin slowly disappear into the desert. She’d hand the tin to the lab as soon as they returned. Let  _ them  _ figure out what was inside it. 

Without the passengers to bog them down, they make it back to Konoha at a much faster pace. They only break for the night when they are inside of the border. When they finally return to Konoha, she burns the clothes she was using. If there was any sand in them, it wouldn’t matter anymore. Then she writes her report detailing her observations and interactions with the Sand siblings and hands in the tins of face paint and ointment. In separate forms, she details the culture, food and use of plants. She didn’t doubt it would all be filed away and her last interaction with the jinchuriki would be noted and used. She knows that friendly relations with Suna’s jinchuriki and as a source of information would be welcome. 

She can only hope she won’t be ordered to seduce him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this immediately after writing so I hope there isn't any mistakes, please let me know if you do notice any.   
> I've wondered what Jiraiya was doing during the invasion and the best conclusion I can come to/find in canon is that he's out of village. So I say fuck that. In my AU, Jiraiya stays in the village to take care of Naruto since Orochimaru scared the shit outta them and is therefore present for the invasion. He fends off Gaara's (successful) jinchuriki transformation and alters his seal, putting Suna even more in Konoha's debt.


	23. Rest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter marks an, imo huge deviation in the way I write this story. To put it simply, instead of jumping from POV to POV to give you a complete understanding of the changes different characters are inflicting on the world, we will now be mainly sticking to Sakura’s limited POV and focusing on her personal character growth. This was the original intention when I first began writing this fic, before I got sidetracked by everyone’s thoughts and motivations. If you are as confused as Sakura is while reading, I assure you this is intentional due to her limited POV, regardless I hope you continue to enjoy the story.

Sakura stretches, arching her back from her hunched position. Her report was complete, tins all packaged up and ready to be submitted together. The navy blue turtleneck Michiru had found for her to wear after she burnt her clothes was still new and scratchy. She’s glad autumn is early if only so that the standard issue long sleeve shirts suit the weather better. 

The winding maze out of the seduction division is rightfully silent but so is the information processing desk. When it becomes clear that there is no shinobi on duty, Sakura goes to Torture and Interrogation, there was always someone there. The chunin there signs off on her form, assuring her that her report had been received and would be processed when the processing division opened in the morning. The lack of personnel had resulted in there no longer being someone at the desk at all times.

Too tired to make her way to the other end of the village, Sakura makes her way to one of the adjacent rooms in the seduction division instead. The place is oddly silent and empty, even Michiru, although still in-village, was away. Exhaustion quickly catches up to her and she’s asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow. 

She only wakes when her hunger outweighs her desire to sleep. Her face feels puffy from all the sleep and it takes her a while to realise that Michiru had come and gone, leaving behind a plate of onigiri. That makes her jolt, how could she have not noticed someone beside her? Slipping out of bed, she realises she hadn’t even left a kunai in easy reach before she’d slept. 

Entering the toilet, her disappointment grows as she realises she’d let her genjutsu slip. Careless. Carelessness gets people killed. She’d heard one too many stories of infiltration and seduction agents disappearing, never to be seen again. Taking a quick shower and reapplying her genjutsu, she realises that she’d been asleep for the whole day and it was night again. 

She drags her pack to the middle of the room, repacking and refilling it as she eats the plain onigiri Michiru had left for her. She makes sure to wash the plate and leave a note for Michiru before making her way out and towards the Uchiha compound. Jiraiya-sama had not said how long he and Naruto would be out of the village but that didn’t mean Sasuke wouldn’t be home. 

It’s not that she expects Sasuke to be on top of maintaining their home considering her and Naruto’s absence. In fact, she expects some dust considering the house is larger than Sasuke’s old apartment. However, this is a bit much. Had Kakashi not helped at all? Aside from resetting the trap at the doorway, everything was in the exact same spot she’d left it with a layer of dust. She checks the rooms upstairs first, empty and with a layer of dust. The laundry she’d left was hung out but had been exposed to weather. No notes left behind, only her parting note to Sasuke - thrown into the bin. She had a bad feeling. 

Kakashi had promised to protect him. He’d promised. If Sasuke wasn’t home, then he’d be with Kakashi. She ditches her pack in favour of speed, heading to the shinobi apartment block Kakashi lives in. 

Nothing. 

The room is too dark to see anything when she peers in but a layer of dust rests on his window ledge. Entering the building, a layer of dusts rests on his doorknob as well. Kakashi has not been home for a while now. Her heart sinks. She should have checked on them the moment she’d submitted her report. 

She knows it’s unlikely but she has to check. Kakashi being sent on a mission and leaving in a rush was plausible. But not Sasuke. Sasuke was supposed to be grounded in the village, doing in-village missions and most definitely not absent long enough for so much dust to collect and laundry to see so much weather. The mission desk is understaffed and its shinobi visibly annoyed at her request. 

“Not on mission. Stop wasting our time, go check the missing persons list.” 

She’s kicked out before she can say they’re not missing. She’d seen them after the invasion. Undeterred, she goes to the Intelligence division. Just because the mission desk says they’re not on mission doesn’t actually mean they’re not on mission. Though she’s glad to confirm that Team 7 has not been disbanded. 

There for the second time today, she takes a different path to look for her team’s roster - the one privy to the eyes of information agents. Rattling off her shinobi number and infiltration agent number to gain access from the shinobi guard, she makes a beeline to the active duty roster. No Sasuke and Kakashi. Then she sees it, both their shinobi numbers. Both admitted to the hospital the day she’d left Konoha. 

She forgoes any sort of decorum as she rushes out of the building and to the hospital. Ignoring the front desk in favour of scaling the walls to their room, she finally relaxes when she sees them in front of her. Kakashi looks haggard even in his sleep while Sasuke had woken up at her less than silent entry. His red eyes stand out in the darkness as she sees recognition light up his face. He relaxes, putting away his kunai as she approaches, her footsteps are too loud in the quiet room. 

“You came back.” Sasuke’s voice is hoarse from lack of use. In what scant light there is, he looks gaunt. More worrying is how surprised he sounds at her presence. 

“When do you have to go again?” The question catches her off guard and she almost stammers.

“I don’t know. I haven’t heard anything.” Sasuke’s red eyes look dead even as he stares at her. “Sasuke, you can stop using your sharingan already, I’m really here. What happened to you and Kakashi-sensei?” 

Sasuke doesn’t seem to be entirely here even as he listens and his eyes turn back to its usual black. He stares through her as if she doesn’t exist and it scares her. 

“Sasuke?” Gently, she holds his hand, lightly pulling on it to draw his attention to her, to the present.

There’s a pause and then, “Itachi.” Chills run down Sakura’s spine, goosebumps rising on her skin. ‘Itachi’ was a distant enemy, not  _ now _ . Her mouth feels too dry and there is a lump in her throat. Her mind races, heart sinks but she is given no reprieve by Sasuke.

“Where were you?” She flinches, his tone is almost accusatory... or is that her guilt rearing its head at her and warping his words? In this moment, she hates her inability to divulge any details. 

“Mission outside Konoha. I- I got the mission in the middle of the night and you were sleeping. I didn’t want to wake you up. And Kakashi was there and-” Her excuses dry up and she hangs her head, unable to meet Sasuke’s eyes. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay. I’m sorry too.” Her head snaps up. Sorry for what? “I’m glad you’re back. Is Naruto back?” She knows Sasuke is changing the topic and she lets it slide. Sasuke should speak of such matters only when he wants to. 

“I haven’t seen him. I only saw Jiraiya-sama before I left. He didn’t tell me where they were going. The house was empty.” She still doesn’t know what to say to Naruto. She doesn’t know if Naruto will even want to speak to her. Her worry must show on her face because Sasuke grabs her hands this time. 

“That idiot will be back before you know it.” She doesn’t know why that was enough to placate her fears. Enough to make her believe that things would work themselves out, that they’d share a night out under the stars once again. Sasuke’s words are enough to make her dream of simpler times and all at once, the tension leaves her. She’s more tired than she recalls being and she slumps at his bedside. 

Sasuke scoots over to make space for her. There is no enemy nin, no jinchuriki, no wild beasts to look out for. She sleeps peacefully. 

She wakes when the door opens. 

The attending nurse is unfazed at her appearance, simply leaving Sasuke’s food at the table after looking at her Konoha headband tied around her neck. The clock beside her reads 7 am. She needs to find Michiru, or the mission desk. In the adjacent toilet, she splashes water on her face. She’s well rested, she hadn’t realised just how much comfort having a familiar face on missions had brought her. 

She scribbles a note for Sasuke on his napkin before leaving through the window. She makes a beeline for the Akimichi owned store. She’s certain those would accept her ration card. She jumps the queue using her shinobi status to the disgruntlement of the civilians in line. They’d likely been queuing for hours at this point. 

The onigiri she leaves with is plain and cold. She squashes the memory of the food they’d sent with the Suna nin. She decides to take to the roofs on the way to the Intelligence division, no need for the stares as she ate. The few shinobi she sees on the roofs seem to share the same sentiment as her. By the time she reaches the seduction division, she’s finished breakfast. 

She’s not the first to arrive. The smell of food, hot food wafts over. She quickly shuts the door behind her. Michiru’s at the stove, over a pot of what smells like okayu. 

“Take a seat, food will be ready soon.” 

Sakura doesn’t mention that she’s already eaten. She’ll take whatever food she can get. She smiles and greets her, thanking her for the onigiri she’d left for her. An agent she doesn’t recognise sits at the table. He turns around as she approaches, his long black hair swinging behind him. 

“Hello, Sakura-san right?”

“Yes, it’s nice to meet you…”

“Yasu.” 

“Nice to meet you, Yasu-san.” 

“Come take a seat. Michiru-san will be done with the food soon.” He pats the chair beside her, giving her a gentle smile.

Taking a seat beside him, Sakura is careful to not pry at the report he’s writing. It’s bad manners after all. It is strange, she thinks. Were it anyone else, she’d discreetly take a peek. Yasu is a type of agent she’s never encountered before. Rather than stunning and luring others in with their beauty, Yasu gives off such a calm and gentle feeling that she can’t help but let down her guard. It’s almost as if she’s back in the Academy, her worries limited to the next test. 

Yasu... is dangerous. She’s almost sad when Michiru arrives with food and breaks her out of her reverie. It’s almost as if Michiru knows this as she sets down the pot, a knowing look in her eye. Sakura’s slightly embarrassed at being caught. She should know better. 

The ‘Itadakimasu’ feels oddly silent at the table and echoes through the room. They eat in relative silence, only the clinking of cutlery to be heard. Sakura almost wants to ask how Yasu can be so graceful while eating something so simple. They finish the meal with some hot tea. With summer ending, the warmth is welcome. 

“You have orders.” Michiru, all business-like, begins. Sakura sits up, listening intently “For the time being, both of you will be assigned in-village missions until the Toad Sage returns from his travels. Thereupon, you will accompany him to Suna for his regular visits. Your long term mission is to ensure friendly relations with the jinchuriki and the future Kazekage. Intel provides that the Kazekage position is hereditary. Your primary targets will be the three children of the fourth Kazekage. These are their files. Familiarise yourself with them before you leave. Sakura, the tins you submitted will be returned to you once they’ve been analysed for your mission. Questions?” 

She keeps her mouth shut. Any questions she might want to ask, she can easily answer. At Yasu’s silence, Michiru gathers the dishes. 

“That will be all then, head over to the mission desk for your regular missions then. You’ll be reporting there for the time being.”

Sakura stares at the dishes, half reaching out to help when Yasu speaks. “Shall we go, Sakura-san?” Her hands hover awkwardly as she looks to Michiru for approval. Michiru gives her a quick nod and turns to the sink. 

Files in one hand, Yasu offers his other to Sakura. She feels like a small child as she takes his hand. It’s an odd sense of deja vu, reminiscent of the first time she walked through the maze as an Academy student. When they reach the mission desk, the shinobi there are more than happy to throw C and D-ranks their way for the next few days. They’re fairly basic tasks revolving around hunting food and repairing the village. 

The street they’re assigned to work in is filled with shops and cordoned off. While fairly untouched, they were to ensure the structural integrity of the shops remained intact given how close they were to the large snakes breaking through the wall. They work in silence, with Yasu only speaking when necessary. That being said, the silence was comfortable and gave Sakura time to think. She’s well aware that she should try to find out where her parents are. Yet, the way she’d ignored her parents lingers in the back of her mind. Facing them, hearing them lecture her about not visiting after her discharge from the hospital even after her promise seems like too much. 

In the early evening, Yasu bids her goodbye, saying they’d meet back here in the morning. 

Sakura heads home as the sun sets. The house is untouched given its location. She brings in the clothes on the drying rack that’s seen one too many a rainy day before heading upstairs. Taking a cold shower since hot water isn’t currently running, she quickly lathers herself and throws on new clothes. Then, she packs extra clothes into a bag and throws everything else into the laundry basket. Next, she checks the fridge, gathering all the spoilt food and throwing it away. She spends another half an hour checking over her poisons before leaving the house. The laundry would be redone tomorrow. 

She doesn’t go to the hospital, her feet take her to her childhood home. She doesn’t want to meet them but she can at least check up on them. The apartment block they live in isn’t far away so it’s a short detour before she heads to the hospital. She can see the light from the living room shining past the balcony. Heading onto the roof of the apartment block opposite the balcony, she can clearly see her mother and father about to eat dinner. 

Her mother’s belly is larger than before though she doesn’t know how long there is till her new sibling is born. Her father, already in his night clothes, seemed loath to let her mother carry anything. It’s a typical homely scene and they looked...well. Absent-mindedly, she wonders if this was how it was like before she was born. She waves away the thought immediately, she was conceived during the third war. Her mother fought while pregnant. 

Night brings with it a chilly breeze and Sakura takes it as her cue to slip away. She only makes one stop to redeem her dinner using her ration card before reaching the hospital. Then scales the side of the hospital to enter through the window again. The room’s lights are lit this time and Sasuke’s patiently waiting with his dinner in front of him. This time round, the room has an extra chair in it. In the light, Sakura can see the bandages that cover him. 

“I brought you some clothes.” She says, gesturing at the bag she carries.

Sasuke nods at the chair beside him. She sets the bag down on the floor and quickly takes her seat. She opens up her bento box, pleasantly surprised to see how much rice is given. She’s hungry even though she ate breakfast twice.

“I’ll be in-village till Naruto comes back.” She says, taking a bite of egg and rice. The food is still hot, freshly made. 

“I’ll be discharged in a few days. Kakashi…” Sasuke pauses, taking in a breath. “They don’t know what’s wrong with him. He won’t wake up.” 

Sakura glaces back at her teacher. It’s worrying, there may be a lack of information on the Uchiha in general, especially Uchiha Itachi but information about her teacher goes way back.  _ Cold-blooded Kakashi _ . Shinobi weren’t usually well-known enough to have a moniker. They were to stay in the shadows after all. Sakura can’t help but feel that they’d bitten off more than they could chew when they’d promised to help Sasuke with his revenge.

She realises she hasn’t replied to Sasuke and turns back while nodding, “I’ll clean up the house before you’re discharged.” 

“Ah. The laundry-” 

“-will be done tomorrow. I took them in before I came here.” Her chopsticks move around aimlessly in the box, pushing the rice around. “I saw my parents.” She gushes. 

Sasuke nods at her, not wanting to interrupt but letting her know he was listening. 

“I didn’t- um meet them. I just saw them from outside. I…” She trails off, unsure what to say. Everything sounded like an excuse.

Sasuke takes another mouthful of his okayu, “You should meet them, go eat with them while you’re in the village.”

Sakura nods. Sasuke is right, she doesn’t know how long her next mission will take. Her nod seems to satisfy him and they continue eating, with the topic changing to more lighthearted matters.

\---

Yasu passes her the Suna files two days later. They’re in the forests just outside Konoha hunting. Under the cover of the trees, Sakura flicks through them. There’s not much in it about their personalities or upbringing, mostly about the skills and abilities they’d displayed during the exams. He gives no word on the tins she’d handed in before. She puts them in her pack to be viewed later, alone and without any potential prying eyes.

She doesn’t spend much time at home, only taking a quick shower and getting a change of clothes. She’d finished cleaning the house yesterday. Sasuke could move back the moment he gets discharged. Sasuke’s words ring in her mind as she makes her way to her childhood home again. She’d been there everyday since but could never bring herself to knock on the door. She’s earlier than usual so she doesn’t find it strange that she doesn’t see her father at the dinner table. She’s content to wait for him to appear from where she sat before she inevitably leaves. 

“You’re not coming in?” 

Sakura startles at her father’s voice. It’s a lot quieter than usual, soft even. Haruno Kizashi, in full shinobi garb, leans against the wall, arms crossed. 

“Dad...” How long had he been there?

“Come on, your mom already cooked dinner. Can’t let the food get cold now can we?” Though his tone is gentle, Sakura knows that she can’t run away from this. She nods numbly, following her father down the building, taking the stairs this time. The steps to the second floor could not feel shorter. She’s left feeling awkward when she enters the house. She carefully takes off her shoes and places them neatly to the side. Her mother doesn’t like it when she kicks them off. Her father’s gaze is oddly fond and wistful when she looks back up. 

“Sakura?” Her mothers voice calls from inside. It’s been two months since she’d last heard her mother call for her in that manner. Seeing her, actually seeing her makes tears well up in her eyes and she runs into her embrace. She’d missed her parents despite herself. Behind her, Kizashi scoops the both of them into a bear hug, almost lifting them off the ground. 

Between her mother’s gentle pats and her father’s hugs, she can't help but feel like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been like 3 months since I updated, do yall even remember this story lol.   
> This chapter is much longer than usual and ends on a sweet note, something nice as we end the year and before I throw you guys off the deep end...maybe next chapter?   
> I have good news though, where before I was blindly bumbling through the plot with a vague idea of where/what plot points I wanted this fic to have, I now have an actual plot outline for the whole fic so this thing is going somewhere and has an end goal! Yay!


End file.
